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Ruminating about intrusive possibly depressive feelings


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Hi all,

I wonder if i could have some advice, i am trying not to ruminate over a problem with a crush on someone at work, what happened today was that i ended up having quite a long chat with this person fairly early on in the day  and knew i would be struggling to avoid ruminating post chat, i tried and thought i was doing ok however i think i did ruminate a little but it was low level rumination in terms of it didn't cause too much anxiety.

However around midday i had this overwhelming depressive feeling come over me, i can only describe it as making me want to cry and go home, i  felt so down for a couple of hours that i felt dragged into rumination and assumed it was caused by me questioning this crush and did it mean i want to leave my wife?. It may sound trivial but this is tearing me apart and i am really starting to to question my relationship. I fear i may want to break up with my wife and it's making my life hell.

It seems as if i had no control over this overwhelming feeling and really struggled to focus on anything else. It almost seemed to arrive out the blue i wan't doing too badly  up until that point but things seemed to change almost instantly.. I have had this feeling on occasions in the past, it often seems to effect me when i have had a really prolonged bout of high anxiety OCD which i have had over the past few weeks.,  oddly i had it yesterday as well around a similar time of day.

I know logically that i have no desire to leave my wife despite the crush, the more i think i may want to i just become more distressed and upset. When i don't ruminate too much over this issue i feel alot calmer and happier which is my way of thinking that it is OCD making a big drama out of something that is quite common and happens to everyone and is making me this distressed

My question is how do i cope when i have such a horrible feeling come over me? is it a case of trying not to ruminate about why i feel this feeling up on me? it feels almost like an intrusive feeling rather than an intrusive thought. It almost leaves me so down i almost have to stop doing whatever i am up to at that point, which at work can be tricky.

How do i get round this?

Thanks

Avo

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You definitely stop any ruminating about why you feel that way. It wouldn't surprise me if you are having mini panic attacks.

You ride them out. Focus on your breathing, slowly di what you're supposed to be doing and for sure don't ruminate.

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Thanks PolarBear, I must admit I never considered it being some form of panic attack, It seems mainly mental struggles, don't think I have too many physical side effects along the panic attack lines but them maybe I do but have never really noticed. It certainly seems more mental in terms of the main symptoms. This overwhelming feeling does often follow particularly stressful ocd episodes. I suppose the 2 could be linked?

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