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Worry about past events around being a peadophile


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Hi All,

can anyone tell me if they have suffered from worries about past events possibly meaning that one of their OCD worries may be true? I worry that i am attracted to Children and suffer with intrusive thoughts about things i have done in the past that may implicate me and prove that i am what i fear.

I have when i first got this fear some 20 yrs ago i  halfheartedly tried to see if i was aroused by thoughts of children, this did not involve watching anything just trying to think about children and see if a had any response in my nether regions, did this i think a few times.

I also used this 'technique' around thoughts i may be homosexual. This however does not cause me as much worry as the first one i mentioned as for me being gay is not wrong, where as being a pedophile most certainly is. 

There are various other incidents from my past that are often raised by my brain to try and implicate me as being a peadophile . I am currently under going CBT and am wondering if i should mention any of these to my Therapist? they cause me alot of anxiety and i feel i may be being deceitful to my therapist by keeping them to myself.

Has anyone else had a similar issue about past events?, what should i do?

Sorry to be so graphic. would appreciate any advice.

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Absolutely! OCD will automatically make our brains scan for "evidence" to support our fears as we think long and hard and try to answer the question, my therapist says this is all false eveidence, F.E.A.R- False Evidence Appearing Real! Although telling ur therapist may help u get it all off ur chest, don't expect too much in response because u may get 1 little reassurance and then that's it, because we need to learn to dismiss this "evidence" as its just another of OCD's trick and isn't relevant! Xx

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Hi  Wonderer,

Thank you for your reply, it can be worrying when I think about past events. I suppose like you say if I mention this to her it may be it provides some reassurance but then I still will probably get more worries along these lines but just a slightly different event. I suppose I should accept I cant change the past though its difficult OCD makes you feel like a very bad person.

Thanks for your reply.

Avo

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