New suffering nervous breakdown.

[bwelagain]

Just joined, been looking at some posts to try and help myself over past several weeks.

I had a nervous breakdown about 7 or 8 years ago caused by distressing OCD thoughts,when I couldn't function and became agoraphobic for several months. I can't really remember how long it took to recover, possibly a few/several months. GP put me on 10mg escitalopram and 10 mg daily of diazepam to help me to go out if it was absolutely necessary, as I had very little by way of a support system.

As I became well, I weaned myself slowly off the diazepam without a problem. I stayed on the 10mg escitalopram for about 7 years and was well and happy, as my OCD had completely left me. I did not have CBT at all for OCD.

 

Well, last March, I decided to come off the escitalopram and weaned off of them over a 9 mth period. I stopped escitalopram completely in Dec of last year when I was down to 1 mg.

About 7 weeks ago, the OCD thoughts came back and I have had a complete nervous breakdown. I can't sleep and only sometimes force myself to eat, my appetite is gone, have lost over a stone.

 

GP suggested going back on an ssri 3 weeks ago, but I said no, as member of household is against me going back on meds.

Well, I went to see doc this morning and she put me back on 10 my escitalopram and in desperation, I have taken my first dose, despite being scared of side effects again and worrying if it will help me through my breakdown.....Well, now the person who lives with me is not talking to me as I have restarted an ssri.

I know escitalopram may not help me this time, but I can't go on like this.

I am on a waiting list for CBT.

 

I

Was I right to go back on meds? This is a complete nervous breakdown I am suffering.

 

Please advise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[OceanDweller]

It is between you and your GP to decide what medication you take. Tell this third party to look after their own business and resist prying into yours.

[Wonderer]

55 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

It is between you and your GP to decide what medication you take. Tell this third party to look after their own business and resist prying into yours.

Yep!!!! ^^^^

It's nobody's business but urs, it's ur body and ur health and nobody has the right to tell u what to do with it or make u feel bad for trying to help yourself! Xx

 

[Caramoole]

I'm going to be completely controversial here, because I think the term "Nervous Breakdown" can be a bit misleading (and disempowering) sometimes. It is a bunch of over-whelming symptoms caused by anxiety/fight or flight/reaction to OCD thoughts BUT we can still actually function through it and move beyond it if understand that it is caused by fear.

I completely understand how you feel as I've been in that place more times than I care to think about.  But we can get ourselves better, firstly by understanding that the fear was caused by your reaction and response to the thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. We also have to set a plan to get better, which includes eating (whether you want to or not), getting out of the house etc.  I was like you with food, I literally couldn't get it down....but found that there were times in the day (usually late evening) when I could eat something.  I would make sure then that I had something, it might have been just soup & toast and a bag of crisps but I got them down.  Same with going out, I would make myself do something like to to the corner shop, walk to the park.  You have to take back control and understand that you can learn to address this heightened anxiety response.

I don't know if you should take the medication, only you can weigh up the pro's and cons.....but I would strongly recommend that even if you do, you should ask your GP for a referral for CBT so that you can learn to deal with both the OCD and anxiety so that it can't provoke such an awful response in the future.

Try and get some food regularly, don't wait for your appetite to return....you're going to have to over-ride yourself on this one.  Hope you're feeling a bit better soon.....and remember, you haven't truly broken.....you're just over-whelmed by the physical symptoms of anxiety at the moment.  You can start to rebuild things from this moment and get well again

[PhilM]

Caramoole that is a fab response. Best wishes, Phil

[bwelagain]

Thank you everyone.

Caramoole, I appreciate your comprehensive recovery plan as I know I have to eat, go out a little and try to get some sleep and in rare moments of clarity over these hellish recent weeks, I told myself I could get better without meds if I tried to do all that you recommend, but I could never hold onto that mindset as the thoughts were so unrelenting that I could barely get out of a chair.  That is why I finally decided to go back on escitalopram, as I don't feel able to pick myself up without meds, nor do I think I would be able to attend the CBT I am waiting on if the ssri doesn't help me...... I have high hopes that it will help me as it did before, but I now know that even if the ssri works for me, I must attend CBT.

 

I have also become severely depressed and have lost all the joy in my life. I haven't laughed or smiled since I became ill, I have lost all my interests.

And the person living with me hasn't spoken to me for 24 hrs because I have gone back on meds. I feel like I have no support and know that I am going to have to support myself.

 

I am going to make myself eat something today as I know I have to eat to get better. And I hope to go to the shop on my own.

 

I have to believe I can get well, but it's like I've lost all my confidence in myself. I never thought I would be in this state again. I thought I was better of ocd.

 

Edited May 12, 2017 by bwelagain
mistyped

[OceanDweller]

2 hours ago, bwelagain said:

the person living with me hasn't spoken to me for 24 hrs because I have gone back on meds

This individual is denying you support when you most need it. I should be instructing them to grow up if I were you.

[Guest David green]

On 12/05/2017 at 12:56, bwelagain said:

Thank you everyone.

Caramoole, I appreciate your comprehensive recovery plan as I know I have to eat, go out a little and try to get some sleep and in rare moments of clarity over these hellish recent weeks, I told myself I could get better without meds if I tried to do all that you recommend, but I could never hold onto that mindset as the thoughts were so unrelenting that I could barely get out of a chair.  That is why I finally decided to go back on escitalopram, as I don't feel able to pick myself up without meds, nor do I think I would be able to attend the CBT I am waiting on if the ssri doesn't help me...... I have high hopes that it will help me as it did before, but I now know that even if the ssri works for me, I must attend CBT.

 

I have also become severely depressed and have lost all the joy in my life. I haven't laughed or smiled since I became ill, I have lost all my interests.

And the person living with me hasn't spoken to me for 24 hrs because I have gone back on meds. I feel like I have no support and know that I am going to have to support myself.

 

I am going to make myself eat something today as I know I have to eat to get better. And I hope to go to the shop on my own.

 

I have to believe I can get well, but it's like I've lost all my confidence in myself. I never thought I would be in this state again. I thought I was better of ocd.

 

I feel just like you i have lost that confidence and interest in what i used to like.I too thought it would never be the way it was again when it was bad.I havent done cbt yet either and i need help from meds like you.I am agorophobic and im going through depression.

[Guest]

In the self-help textbook “Transformation” of Yihew Therapy, there is a case of the treatment of drug dependence. The patient had taken drugs for 10 years. And her symptoms were more severe than yours. In that case, there is a detailed record of the process of the communication between the patient and Master Yihew and how the patient got rid of drug dependence. If you want to have a look, I can send the electronic edition of the case to you.

[Lynz]

Why on earth would someone not speak to you because you are taking treatment for a medical condition? That is incredibly childish, controlling and ignorant and it has made me so angry hearing about that. I don't know who the person is, whether it is a parent, sibling, or partner, but I categorically WOULD NOT put up with that kind of behaviour.

I understand how difficult it must be to not have any support when going through this. But I wonder why you came off the SSRIs when you were happy and symptom free when on them. I often wonder if people feel like they "should" come off them due to a stigma of being on antidepressants. You would not advise anybody with a physical health condition to come off their medication if it is obvious that they are keeping you well and symptom free.

I agree with what everyone has said about CBT being the main treatment, but if escitalopram allowed you to function normally, be happy and symptom free then I simply don't understand why being on it is such a bad thing.

There are many people who stay symptom free from OCD after taking meds and having therapy, and when the therapy has finished they keep taking the meds so they remain symptom free. There is no need to be some kind of martyr here. If the meds work, then take them!

[Wonderer]

12 minutes ago, Lynz said:

Why on earth would someone not speak to you because you are taking treatment for a medical condition? That is incredibly childish, controlling and ignorant and it has made me so angry hearing about that. I don't know who the person is, whether it is a parent, sibling, or partner, but I categorically WOULD NOT put up with that kind of behaviour.

I understand how difficult it must be to not have any support when going through this. But I wonder why you came off the SSRIs when you were happy and symptom free when on them. I often wonder if people feel like they "should" come off them due to a stigma of being on antidepressants. You would not advise anybody with a physical health condition to come off their medication if it is obvious that they are keeping you well and symptom free.

I agree with what everyone has said about CBT being the main treatment, but if escitalopram allowed you to function normally, be happy and symptom free then I simply don't understand why being on it is such a bad thing.

There are many people who stay symptom free from OCD after taking meds and having therapy, and when the therapy has finished they keep taking the meds so they remain symptom free. There is no need to be some kind of martyr here. If the meds work, then take them!

Amazing comment Lynx! I 100% agree! X