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Hi,

This is my first time on here so please bear with me as I prattle on.

My daughter 2 weeks ago seemed to change overnight, it started with something she said at school that she knew was wrong, I told her it was ok she knew it was wrong and to try and not do it again but she just kept going over it again and again all evening.  It then moved on in the next few days to her confessing everything she had done wrong in her life, right back to when she was about 5, (she is now 9).  This has now moved on again to having thoughts of people naked or if she would want to kiss them or go to bed with them (I questioned what she meant by that and she said kiss and get into bed, so not sexual as such).  She was telling her Dad as well as me (we are divorced) but now she is only telling me and it is a strain to hear all day on stop.  This morning I have been told I am fat, she hopes she won't be like that when she is older, she doesn't think she loves me or anyone and she is not even sure I am her mum.

She says she is not sure if she is saying some of it for attention or not.

We have been to dr rig at the start and they said anxiety.

 

please any help or advise as I haven't eaten or slept for weeks now and am so worried, I want my little girl back.

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Hi Mrsmoo. Welcome to the forum. :welcome:

Your daughter does seem to be showing some symptoms of OCD with intrusive thoughts driving compulsive behaviours such as confessing. It must be very tiring to hear this all day long, but of course it's tiring for her too thinking it all day long! Confessing isn't helpful though as it reinforces the feeling she needs to speak out or take action to neutralise the thoughts. 

Personally I don't believe this sort of behaviour is attention seeking. There are easier ways (which are far less distressing for the child) to do that. More helpful to view it as a plea to help her neutralise unwanted or distressing thoughts. In that light you can ignore the (sometimes hurtful) content such as 'you're fat' and concentrate on helping her understand they are just thoughts and she can let them pass through her mind and ignore them without any negative consequences. 

It's important to look after your own health and not to get drawn into the rituals to the extent you neglect yourself. Easier said than done when you must be worried, but the more tired and stressed you become the harder it is to stay calm and rational when the behaviours become irritating. Try to take some time out for yourself to relax, especially at bedtime. 

What help have you been offered by your GP? Has he referred her to CAMHS for CBT? Have you considered reading a self-help book for parents so you learn how to support her when she offloads her anxiety onto you? 

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Thanks for your reply. We have another visit to the gp on Thursday to see if they agree with ocd so we can then hopefully get a referral for cbt, at the moment the gp had said school should refer and school is saying it needs to be gp, so now we feel a little more sure of what it could be we are going back to gp armed with a little knowledge.

i have been telling her they are brain hiccups and to try and let the thought pass through or pop it when she realises that is what it is and have told her we will have a little time in the morning and a little in the evening to discuss any worries, I have no idea if this is right but it is helping to keep me sane and let her off load. I can handle the comments about me and it is the fact that I find it hard so realise how unbearable it must be for her that is most upsetting. The morning seems to be the hardest for her almost like her brain has overloaded on thoughts as soon as she wakes up.

thanks agin for replying 

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