Pocd feeling extremly anxous leaving my home (Merged Threads)

[Wonderer]

1 hour ago, David green said:

Ive lost interest in things i used to be able to find something to do to keep me ocupied.I hope the new med helps the med is mirtazapine

Yes David it's normal to lose interest in things when we are anxious and depressed but by picking up our hobbies again can be a great way to begin to lift ourselves out of depression, force yourself to do something u enjoy even if u don't feel like it xx

[Guest David green]

1 hour ago, Wonderer said:

Yes David it's normal to lose interest in things when we are anxious and depressed but by picking up our hobbies again can be a great way to begin to lift ourselves out of depression, force yourself to do something u enjoy even if u don't feel like it xx

Its hard i just look at the stuff i once did theres no interest no motivation to do anything x

[Wonderer]

36 minutes ago, David green said:

Its hard i just look at the stuff i once did theres no interest no motivation to do anything x

Yep, a classic symptom of depression, don't just look at it, engage with it wether u want to or not, I've gotten back into reading again after a long spell of depression and honestly I'm annoyed at myself for not just enjoying it all this time! 

[Guest David green]

Spent weekend round my mothers now leaving to go back is very dificult its like unbarable.

[Guest David green]

I came to a dead end street there was a kid crossing which was ok then a father and bunch a kids the father was watching me which made me feel bad then i went down another street bunch a kids walking dead in front of me and that made me feel weird.I didnt feel to good once in my block it felt like the end of the world and that i wanted to take my life.

[PhilM]

So again seeking reassurance David? Be honest. I'm not being harsh but that's how it seems and also posting about self-harm which you know is really unfair on other forum users.

What are you learning from the forum and the advice and MASSIVE support you have been given? I understand you are distressed but other people are also distressed and have really reached out to you and I feel - sorry - that most of the time you only respond to what you want to hear - e.g. reassurance. You know it is like a drug - addictive.

I can already predict your response IF you respond.

I'm sorry but I have had a terrible weekend with my issues with OCD but I am not looking for reassurance here. You say you have no concentration to use search engines but you have had  the concentration to write hundreds of posts along the same lines + support from the community mental health team as far as I understand?

If I get moderated that's OK. I'm sorry if the above is "harsh" but David you have had more attention than most people on this forum.

Edited May 14, 2017 by PhilM
frustration

[lostinme]

We have to remember that people are suffering and only reaching out for help in times of the feeling of hopelessness and not feeling able to cope. We are all at diffferent stages in recovery and some people find it easier to cope than others. I understand that it gets frustrating at times offering advice and it not being taken, but however sometimes it's not so easy to do for the sufferer. I appreciate that's it's not nice posting about self harm for the other forum users but obviously he is feeling distressed to be writing this. I agree with tough love at times but i don't think this is the time to be quite so harsh. 

[Wonderer]

I don't feel we should chastise anyone for posting about self harm if that's how they're feeling, when we are that low and we need to let it out, I don't think it's unfair to other users because it's not intended to upset others, it's how the person is feeling and they should not be put off from expressing that as it's always better out than in in my opinion. However I do believe that You must start trying to help yourself David as nobody else can do it for u, oh how I wish it was that easy! You will not be able to avoid children, it's virtually impossible, u need to work on your reactions towards seeing children. Until it no longer bothers u, the best way to do that is to make a point of getting out even a once round the block walk in order to encounter such situations until u realise there is nothing to fear!x

[Guest David green]

12 hours ago, Wonderer said:

I don't feel we should chastise anyone for posting about self harm if that's how they're feeling, when we are that low and we need to let it out, I don't think it's unfair to other users because it's not intended to upset others, it's how the person is feeling and they should not be put off from expressing that as it's always better out than in in my opinion. However I do believe that You must start trying to help yourself David as nobody else can do it for u, oh how I wish it was that easy! You will not be able to avoid children, it's virtually impossible, u need to work on your reactions towards seeing children. Until it no longer bothers u, the best way to do that is to make a point of getting out even a once round the block walk in order to encounter such situations until u realise there is nothing to fear!x

I just cant walk outside as soon as i see children i stand out because i dont know where to look but at them.People notice that really scares me i dont know how this cbt is going to go when i do it.

Edited May 15, 2017 by David green

[Guest David green]

14 hours ago, PhilM said:

So again seeking reassurance David? Be honest. I'm not being harsh but that's how it seems and also posting about self-harm which you know is really unfair on other forum users.

What are you learning from the forum and the advice and MASSIVE support you have been given? I understand you are distressed but other people are also distressed and have really reached out to you and I feel - sorry - that most of the time you only respond to what you want to hear - e.g. reassurance. You know it is like a drug - addictive.

I can already predict your response IF you respond.

I'm sorry but I have had a terrible weekend with my issues with OCD but I am not looking for reassurance here. You say you have no concentration to use search engines but you have had  the concentration to write hundreds of posts along the same lines + support from the community mental health team as far as I understand?

If I get moderated that's OK. I'm sorry if the above is "harsh" but David you have had more attention than most people on this forum.

Phil you seem to be on to me everytime i post im finding things very hard my concentration is bad im not making that up.

[PhilM]

I'm never been trying to have a dig but if you would rather I didn't respond to your posts I won't. I simply want you to get a bit better and re-build your self-confidence and self-esteem. Best wishes, Phil.

[Ashley]

As a moderation team we have a policy of removing all content that describes self-harm, suicide attempts were we see them (for the welfare of the entire forum) and we then engage the user in PM offering support how best we can, calling external agencies if we feel we need to (rarely something we do, but we have done it occasionally).  If anybody is concerned about a post content can I ask you please report the post. 

[Ashley]

46 minutes ago, David green said:

Phil you seem to be on to me everytime i post im finding things very hard my concentration is bad im not making that up.

I don't think Phil is deliberately trying to antagonise you David, and I know you're struggling but Phil is partly right in that you're posting a lot of late, pretty much the same stuff, it is worth reading previous replies (I will merge this thread into the other).  it's good that you got out today, how far can you actually get out?  

[Ashley]

1 hour ago, David green said:

I just cant walk outside as soon as i see children i stand out because i dont know where to look but at them.People notice that really scares me i dont know how this cbt is going to go when i do it

Is this the real reason you don't want to go to a clinic for treatment for the OCD and you want home based treatment?

[Guest David green]

1 minute ago, Ashley said:

Is this the real reason you don't want to go to a clinic for treatment for the OCD and you want home based treatment?

Its just to hard ashley ive been this way over 10 years i can get to local shops just about and 10 mins away to my mother but that is really hard.

[Ashley]

Because of seeing children and having the OCD thoughts?

[Guest David green]

Mainly yes but it still feels impossible i dont feel to good now theres no way out someone please answer

Edited May 15, 2017 by David green

[PhilM]

There is David believe me. I cuddle children now and I didn't for years! I still have intrusive thoughts all the time but I've learnt and this has taken a long time that the thoughts are not me.

[PhilM]

I'm in the library right now as my printer is playing up and there is a sing-a-long thing going on with a group of toddlers. I feel fearful to some extent but it's part of recovery - facing the fear.

[Wonderer]

4 hours ago, David green said:

I just cant walk outside as soon as i see children i stand out because i dont know where to look but at them.People notice that really scares me i dont know how this cbt is going to go when i do it.

You don't stand out, u think u do because  OCD makes u FEEL like u do. CBT will have u stay in those u comfortable situations, it is the ONLY way to get better. If u don't engage U will be stuck like this forever! Most of us here who have had those thoughts and are recovered or recovering have felt the same way as u at some point! Just look at what Phil has said, he is sticking out a really uncomfortable situation today, despite the feelings. I have two sons, at one stage I felt I couldn't bath them or lay beside them in bed, I do all that now and am upset that I spent months avoiding things that were all based on fear and not fact!x

Edited May 15, 2017 by Wonderer

[Guest David green]

1 hour ago, PhilM said:

There is David believe me. I cuddle children now and I didn't for years! I still have intrusive thoughts all the time but I've learnt and this has taken a long time that the thoughts are not me.

I was there were you are now then before i knew it it was all gone now just going out is a nightmare.I could be ok then soon as im out its like im a different person total fear.Sorry if i put a downer on it 

Edited May 15, 2017 by David green

[PhilM]

You have nothing to say sorry for. I think I owe you an apology for sometimes being unintentionally insensitive but believe me I wish you all the best because I know how horrible this condition can be. Best wishes, Phil.

[Guest David green]

4 minutes ago, PhilM said:

You have nothing to say sorry for. I think I owe you an apology for sometimes being unintentionally insensitive but believe me I wish you all the best because I know how horrible this condition can be. Best wishes, Phil.

Thanks phil whats daunting to me is everyone where i live seeing how i am when i start going out with the cbt therapist.

Edited May 15, 2017 by David green

[PhilM]

Believe me other people just go about their business and if anyone thinks anything - so what? The most important thing is you and your therapist working together and you getting more confident.

[Guest David green]

went to shop twice today i was all nerves then at 1pm i thought i would take a ride around the block which was ok then i thought i would try the shop again when kids were coming home from school but i was panicking badly.

I read on this forum we gotta to claw back our confidence so i tried today on my bike i had a feeling when the kids were coming home from school it might go wrong.Its knocked my confidence now

Edited May 16, 2017 by David green