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Question about recovery and ERP.


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So I've been seeing a CBT specialist and doing self ERP for over the last month.  I've been finding after months of fearing my POCD I've been able to spend time with my nephews and niece and friends with children without reacting or flinching too badly and all in the last couple of weeks.  My last call to the crisis line was over two week ago and now its like I'm almost kinda suspicious that things are going almost too well, that I seem to be emerging from this earlier than expected.  I'm still on my meds and sleeping well but I'm worried now that my mind is playing tricks on me.  I still get very edgy at times and have thoughts but their not as bad and I'm not ruminating/worrying about situations or as fearful nearly as much as I was.  Is this possible or am I being too paranoid and should just let this be? I'm just not sure.  

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No I don't, its kinda a relief to be honest but it feels weird after months of anxiety and stress to suddenly be kinda calm and rational about it.  My OCD makes me worried that its just the meds doing this only and not the CBT or ERP even though I know rationally I wouldn't be in this calmer state without the latter.  Just worried about crashing badly in the near future, that I'll get to overwhelmed by something existing or new.   

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1 hour ago, Zazoo said:

Just worried about crashing badly in the near future, that I'll get to overwhelmed by something existing or new.   

Firstly treat this problem as one of OCD. You can't have certainty about what will happen in the future none of us can but you can prepare yourself for setbacks. Look at what you have achieved, write down what you learnt from therapy, what did you show yourself. E.g you can cope because you applied therapy and have got loads better, thoughts aren't important, feelings aren't evidence there is something wrong, intrusive thoughts occur less when you ignore them etc.

Also look after yourself and build a life that makes you happy and has support in it from family, friends or the forum :)

Lastly trust that you can cope, you have recovered so far so why can't you deal with things as they come. Have belief in your abilities. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Those are some good words of advice.  I've finished my initial round of CBT therapy now and its helped a lot plus my intrusive thoughts have gotten less intense now.  I find though I'm ruminating about the future badly even though I'm trying to live in the present as much as possible and that new possible fears/doubts are popping up because of it.  I'm finding it a struggle right now, like I'm not living, just existing, trying to keep going and ignore the bad POCD and suicidal thoughts in my head that vary day by day.  I know I'm doing better but sometimes on days like today, I find it hard to believe so and just want to hide/die.  Any advice regarding this?  

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Hi Zazoo.  I'm really pleased you have had some relief.  It sounds like you have been working really hard in your CBT and ERP.  Well done.  I go to an OCD support group and we have all tend to worry when things are going good.  It's a part of the OCD.  It's almost like "we" want to be certain that it won't come back and worry about whether we have really made some progress.  Keep up the good work.  You're not alone.

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