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Avoiding compulsions


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Am currently going cold turkey and not giving in to any mental reassurance cause i've discovered i am getting nowhere fast. So it no reassurance of sexuality for me, and a focus on the present, mindfullness and relaxation. I've being trying really hard to not do any thinking or ruminating on the subject this afternoon and am avoiding internet searches apart from googling how to not do compulsions, so far so good. Damn it but i so desperately want to engage my brain and think but have so far managed pretty well. i see it as actually a little challenge to myself turning it into a competition as to how long i can go without reassuring myself, checking or testing. I can break this cycle i know and i'll get there. this ****** disorder is not going to break me..........

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I am with you! I have HOCD. I am trying so hard not to give in to compulsions. My hardest one is ruminations. I've found that it doesn't get me anywhere so I've told my brain I don't care any more I don't want to find a solution and I don't need to. We can do this :)

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Most definitely understand where you're coming from! Remember it's not the thought that is the problem, it's our reactions to that thought and the anxiety that consumes us that is the problem. The compulsions enforce the obsessions. When a thought comes on, think of a stream. Instead of putting yourself in the water and drowning in what if what if, sit on the side of the stream and watch the thoughts go with the current. Don't react to it. Let them flow through your mind like water. How we think determines how we feel. You are most certainly not alone.

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thanks. its a case of 'if only they knew what was going through my mind, they'd be horrified'. then theres the you are just in denial and not accepting you are gay thought. i've been doing some exposure to my thoughts - flooding myself with my thoughts that bother me and trying to stay with it for half an hour of just pure exposure to my gay thoughts and not reassuring myself or replacing thoughts - it leaves me curled up in a ball and grimacing - though my worst fear is that exposing myself to gay sexual thoughts would bring about some form of sexual arousal, it doesnt, which is good news for me.....

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i think  thats the difference between a sexually pleasant thought and an intrusive one, the intrusive one makes me screw my face and clench my teeth, and no arousal happens, but i hate the fact i can even imagine myself doing certain acts - mind you the imagination knows no bounds.....

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Relabel your thoughts as ocd intrusive thoughts. The theme of it doesn't matter. Re attribute when a thought occurs. Tell yourself you aren't going to compulse no matter what. Then refocus on a different behaviour. Make it something small in your brain. The goal is to unlearn everything you have learnt so the obsession goes back to what it originally was - a thought. Live with the uncertainty. Tell yourself I am never going to know and I don't ever want to know. Stop the ruminations and get on with your life. I've once been where you were and trust me this is the only way you will improve.  I finished my cbt therapy 3 weeks ago and have learnt a lot of tools to help along the way. Also know that checking is a compulsion. In order to do erp effectively you must not perform any compulsions and let whatever thoughts come in to your mind be there. I've been at the whole you are in denial stage. It goes. Just need to live with the uncertainty you will never win the war with oCD x

Edited by Lish
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1 hour ago, Unsurechap said:

i think  thats the difference between a sexually pleasant thought and an intrusive one, the intrusive one makes me screw my face and clench my teeth, and no arousal happens, but i hate the fact i can even imagine myself doing certain acts - mind you the imagination knows no bounds.....

You have to stop screwing up your face and clenching your teeth. That's a compulsion too. When you do those things, you are reacting to the thoughts. You want to not react at all to the thoughts.

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15 hours ago, Lish said:

In order to do erp effectively you must not perform any compulsions and let whatever thoughts come in to your mind be there.

I think I know what you're saying, but this is not completely accurate.   What I mean is this.  In order to start winning the war against OCD you're right we have to resist the urges to conduct physical or mental compulsions... easier said that done!

Now the reason I query the above is that in my opinion ERP is about deliberately exposing ourselves to our OCD fears, and of course not doing compulsions.  Rather than just saying ERP is about dealing with obsessional triggers when they come in and not doing a compulsions, instead ERP is about confronting the obsessions head one.   So you see a subtle difference in the above, but I get what you're saying and that may well be what you meant, but good to clarify. :)

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I get what people are saying. I have a 'gay' thought and as long as I have a disgust or a negative reaction of some sort I feel ok. But that's a compulsion when I try to have no reaction at all my brain wants me to wince or grit my teeth and I need to teach my brain that it needs to not react at all and I go about my day. I wondered why I wasn't feeling much anxiety with my OCD but I feel the anxiety when I don't react to a thought like if I don't have a negative reaction it must mean I like the thought and this am gay. But that's what I need to do is just not react in anyway shape or form and over time my brain will stop sending the difficult thoughts as it gets no reaction from me. This may be a big breakthrough for me and I'm very determined to not react. 

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You've got it unsure chap! Just remember labelling yourself because of not reacting is just a thought within itself! Theyre all just thoughts! Ruminating and reacting is not needed because without ruminating and reacting nothing bad is going to happen anyway. Out smart the ocd. Label the thought, accept it as a thought and focus your attention on a positive behaviour. Over time your brain will get bored and desensitise. Just a heads up, the book brain lock by Dr jeremy schwartz is a God send on training your brain to do this and has helped me loads! Remember ocd feeds off fear. Do not fear any thought.  We all have crazy thoughts,  this one has just turned in to an obsession because of a shift in your brain. You need to teach Yourself to turn it back in to just a thought. Eliminating the fear and the need for certainty will allow you to live your life again. I can say I'm Japanese, or I'm and elephant, them thoughts didn't scare me so I must be a Japanese elephant right? Wrong. Ain't happening but thanks brain for the idea I'll get on with my day now. Come on unsure Chap we can kick ocd in its butt once and for all!

Edited by Lish
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Thanks lish. Feeling a general unease that I can't quite put my finger on what's wrong but decided to take the leap of faith and put the effort into not providing myself with reassurance and compulsions. Taking the risk that I may never know for sure for 100% what my sexuality is. 

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unfortunately because of the type of OCD we have that is the only way we are going to stop the OCD. By accepting the uncertainty and embracing it and getting on with our lives. Just remember to relabel it as ocd and try not to get lost in the compulsions. Getting rid of compulsions gets rid of ocd. The weird feeling you're experiencing may be change in your behaviour, not reacting to the thoughts and living with the anxiety. Obviously you will feel weird, you are doing the exact opposite of what you have been doing day in day out. 

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