Back! Need help/advice POCD

[Kieran123]

Hi all, I've been away from the forum for a few weeks now, past few days I've felt my anxiety increase and some intrusive thoughts return, so any help/advice would be much appreciated.

So the other morning I woke up from a dream, i woke up out of the dream and could remember it but what made the anxiety increase was an embarrassing moment, the dream involved sex which embarrassingly was a wet dream and I awoke to a small amount of sperm on ,y bed sheets, what scared me though and made me feel physically sick was that I can remember in the dream there was a younger person and I had a horrible thought that the dream involved a child and as in the past I've experienced intrusive thoughts with POCD it made me feel sick that I had the dream about a child abuse.

Also the dream has made my anxiety increase a lot and my OCD has flared up again as I've felt sick about the thought and due to finishing my therapy I've not had an opportunity to get reassurance. Also it made me overthink everything about my sexual life I was going over everything in my head for instance what if when I'm in the middle of intercourse I have a horrible sexual intrusive thought about a family member or a child and this made me feel scared and sick. I also now have the fear that when it comes to it I won't be able to enjoy sex as ill have too much on my mind worrying about trying not to have an intrusive thought, I'm only 19 and it's made me worry and overthink the whole situation of sex. Also I've noticed when I've got my mind on intrusive thoughts I can't focus or think of anything else so it makes it difficult say for instance texting a girl. 

Any help or advice will be much appreciated.

[californiadreaming]

Hey Kieran, I don't suffer from your particular kind of OCD, but I *do* get the dream thing quite often. Of course your dreams are going to play what you fear, because you're thinking about it 24/7.

I worry about cheating on my SO, and guess what happened? Yep, I've had cheating dreams. I've had to reel them in and not give them much thought and move on with my day. It doesn't mean I want to cheat, or I have cheated, it's simply just a dream. Leave it at that and move on. 

[PolarBear]

The problem is that you gave a silly dream meaning and then performed compulsions, like going over the dream in your head again and again and analyzing your sex life. Put it behind you and refuse to give thoughts about the dream the time of day.

[Kieran123]

17 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

The problem is that you gave a silly dream meaning and then performed compulsions, like going over the dream in your head again and again and analyzing your sex life. Put it behind you and refuse to give thoughts about the dream the time of day.

I understand fully well about compulsions etc and know what I have to do to stop it, but the thing that's bugging me the most is I feel like I'm really overthinking the whole sex life and girl thing like I keep analysing every possible bad scenario and then my mind can't focus on anything else I feel like I can't think of anything to say to the girl as my minds all over the place I just don't want to **** it up or give her the wrong impression like I feel over these past few days i haven't been ankle to initiate a conversation as I just can't think straight and I most certaintly don't want to explain about my OCD just yet but it's really hard.

Edited May 16, 2017 by Kieran123

[PolarBear]

You're ruminating, a compulsion, and it needs to stop. I did a YouTube video on How to Stop Ruminating. You might want to give it a watch.

[californiadreaming]

18 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

You're ruminating, a compulsion, and it needs to stop. I did a YouTube video on How to Stop Ruminating. You might want to give it a watch.

PolarBear, I'm interested in that video if you don't mind linking it. Ruminating is my biggest compulsion. 

[Lish]

What a brilliant video. Thank you very much. The most annoying thing with me at the moment is I am aware of my compulsions but am struggling to stop doing it because I'm so used to doing it. I will get there though. 

[PolarBear]

Lish, that's where the Cognitive side of CBT comes in handy. What you learn doing cognitive work is that you don't have to do the compulsions. You get a good understanding that OCD lies, all the time, and the compulsions are hurting you rather than helping you with your situation. With that knowledge, you have the power to go forward and do the hard work of resisting and stopping your compulsions. Make no mistake about it... It's tough to stop compulsions, especially deep seated ones. You won't get it right immediately. It takes determination and repetition. But you can get there.

[Lish]

Thank you Polar Bear. You seem extremely insightful. I went 3 years with my OCD under control so I know I can do it again. But during the loss of two family members during my recovery it has set me back massively and I feel like I need to find my way again. Deep down I know that nothing bad will happen if I stop doing my compulsions it's just because it's such an automatic routine.