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how could I stop smoking...


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Do you have any advice on stopping smoking?

I know it is not related to OCD, but I feel my OCD is affected by it, and it's hard for me to stop smoking because of it, my anxiety issues and my anger issues, but maybe it's just an excuse. But I wouldn't suggest telling me it is or it isn't, as I'd really like to be sure that it isn't, or it is :(

Usually, soon after I decide to stop smoking, some issue would arise that needs imediate attention, you know, I suppose OCD stuff. But I tell myself, this isn't OCD, this thing is serious, and I engage in compulsions (maybe, I can't tell for sure) but then I decide to stop just to be sure but then my anxiety levels and anger and frustration levels are already up, so I try not to ruminate or not to do anything about it but it gets worse and worse, as I have so many things to be sad, depressed, angered or frustrated about :( so I just keep remembering and remembering things and then something happens that makes me feel like I deserve to smoke, I am entitled to smoke or that smoking is the only thing that will releave all the tension. I think that this is not a good time to stop smoking, or I don't even think I think that at that moment, all I want is to smoke a cigarette beacuse I think I wouldn't cope otherwise. The triggers can be: being reminded of that fact that I am fat (looking in the mirror is enough), remembering that I don't have enough money for a balanced diet with plenty of fruit and veggies, that I don't have enough money for the holiday, realising that I misstreated or misunderstood my boyfriend, trying to avoid an argument with anybody, including my mother and my boyfriend, talk about college and projects and exams, people telling me how bad it is to smoke when I just decided to stop smoking. And I can't tell them that because I don't want to lower my determination to do it. I noticed that when I tell people I try to stop smoking it's harder for me to resist a cigarette. So it's so frustrating to hear people telling me the pitfalls of smoking when I just decided to stop. It just makes me want to smoke in that moment. Yep, that's about it.

I can't stand people telling me how bad it is to smoke even if I don't attempt to stop. Like I live under a rock and I haven't heard, and you can't see everywhere on the packages gruesome pictures of dying people. And I can't stand when they tell me "oh, see, that's why you don't have enough money, if you just didn't smoke that much..." really, haven't thought about that.

So the reasons I want to stop are many, but most importantly I feel fatigued and my head hurts when I smoke. But what else can I do in the situations described above? :(

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Hey, I smoke, I was actually on the verge of quitting when I relapsed and my doctor told me not to stop as it would be too stressful while I was already under a lot of stress! I'm in a much better place now and am going to buy a vape on Thursday to help me to start cutting down and hopefully I'll be off the smokes in a while! It's really tough so basically we just have to have determination to do it! Would u consider vaping? I quit for 2yrs using a vape, at first I used the ones with nicotine in and gradually reduced them til I was vaping with no nicotine at all, which is what I plan on doing again, a very boozey weekend was my downfall back to the cigarettes but as I don't drink very much at all anymore I can't see that being a problem this time around!x

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Instead of 'just' quitting the smokes, it may help you to completely overhaul your health regime at the same time. It's less tempting to sabotage yourself with unhealthy habits if you're working hard to live better generally. Healthy eating, regular cardiovascular exercise, meditation, a proper sleep routine, reducing or eliminating caffeine and alcohol... All these measures will galvanise your willpower because you won't wish to undo all the positives.

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I recommend going on the middle strength patch for a few years. The microtabs are also good.

Why not give up alcohol at the same time. I think It would help your resolve with the smoking.

 

 

 

Edited by daja
Additional sentence
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13 hours ago, chaosed said:

So it's so frustrating to hear people telling me the pitfalls of smoking when I just decided to stop. It just makes me want to smoke in that moment. Yep, that's about it.

I can't stand people telling me how bad it is to smoke even if I don't attempt to stop. Like I live under a rock and I haven't heard, and you can't see everywhere on the packages gruesome pictures of dying people. And I can't stand when they tell me "oh, see, that's why you don't have enough money, if you just didn't smoke that much..." really, haven't thought about that.

You state a very valid point, Chaosed.

Many people tend forget how advice is delivered can be as important as the advice itself. It is so patronising to hear people repeat the same points over and over again as if they were speaking to a 6 year old child. 

As you have mentioned, smoking helps you cope with the tension.

I usually do martial arts when I feel tensed out. I would do air kicks and punches. I am considering buying a punching bag, too bad I can't install one in the office.....

Other than that, I also do breath meditation. It involves find a quiet spot, closing my eyes and focusing on the inhaling and exhaling of the breath . When a thought or sensation or outside stimuli arises, I don't dwell on the thought, just notice it with equanimity, and return to the breath straight away. I noticed anxiety levels drop as early as 10 minutes into the meditation, the reason is the mind becomes focus on the breath instead of the thought that caused the anxiety. This is one of my favourite forms of meditation that I use to combat anxiety.

The forum members have already given pretty good advice, so I wouldn't repeat them. Basically you use another activity to replace smoking to help cope with the tension, in doing so it will help you quit smoking too. A win-win situation. 

 

Edited by St Mike
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11 hours ago, daja said:

I recommend going on the middle strength patch for a few years. The microtabs are also good.

Why not give up alcohol at the same time. I think It would help your resolve with the smoking.

 

 

 

Thank you for the advice. I never considered using a nicotine patch. I tried in the past a nicotine inhaler, but it wasn't so good, as it didn't calm me as much as five minutes of breathing in deeply (cigarette smoke!) would.

I do love drinking wine, but I stopped doing it three years ago because of the fear that I would make a fool out of myself, and since I started working on my problems, I was on medication anyway, and sinced I stopped I plan to limit it until I get better. I can't drink too much anyway because I'm one of those people who fall asleep as soon as they drank too much. Which is a really good thing for me, as I had a lot of opportunities to drink too much. And I can only tolerate vodka and wine.

One of my bigges triggers are beverages. Juice, coffee, lemonade, tea, you name it. Also having a break during college hours, and I suppose having a break during my job, when I'll get one. I think I'll have to consider these situations too, apart from when I feel tense.

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13 hours ago, OceanDweller said:

Instead of 'just' quitting the smokes, it may help you to completely overhaul your health regime at the same time. It's less tempting to sabotage yourself with unhealthy habits if you're working hard to live better generally. Healthy eating, regular cardiovascular exercise, meditation, a proper sleep routine, reducing or eliminating caffeine and alcohol... All these measures will galvanise your willpower because you won't wish to undo all the positives.

I agree! Unfortunately somehow I decided to put my health on hold until I finished college. Which I don't really understand, since in the last year of highschool and first year of college I was extremely health conscious. I also could never have imagined I would start smoking. I somehow stopped all my pleasurable activities for fear I wouldn't have enough time to study. I stopped cooking, reading, going out (plus fear I would make a fool out of myself). So the cigarettes were the only pause I had from all the study and tension in my family. I made a lot of bad choices... But thank you for the reminder, I would start reincorporating some of these activities back into my life :)

I do have a lot of fears regarding exercising, and running, which keep me stuck at the moment. Every time I think about starting running, I get this image of a slim sexy me dumping my boyfriend for making fun of my weight for such a long time.

I understand that now I am fat, I smoke and I don't have money for pretty clothes. But when I will have these things, knowing myself, I would be very frustrated at the ones that stressed me out so much on these subjects: which are my mother and my boyfriend. For my mother, I have nothing to say against her, parents can be extremely suffocating sometimes. But for my boyfriend... if all I asked of you was to respect me and my choices, and give me peace of mind (not bothering me every couple of days with two hours of advice regarding my current state), do I not deserve it? Even if now I am a fat broke student, I think I deserve that. I'm not talking about when I ask for advice, or when he thinks it's best he would give it. But he gives it very often, and in a rude manner. He says I'm lazy, a lot. So let's say I will be slim and have money when I'll get a job, as I'm pretty sure I will, and my boyfriend would stop giving me that advice. The fact that he would stop would angers me beyond measure. Why would you give me peace of mind when everything is ok, but not when I am fat and broke? It's still the same me. It makes no sense to me. And it frustrates me. I am a frustrated pal. I am pretty sure I would think it's not fair, and I am pretty sure it has something to do with my scrupulosity OCD. So this is the reason that I am afraid of starting exercising, to avoid all those feelings of being wronged by my boyfriend I'm sure I'll have. Maybe I won't have them, but I don't see how would that be possible, unless I would change my opinion regarding how I want to be treated in various situations of life, or unless I understand that he did not know any better (and he still doesn't) or maybe it's an excuse for me to get my ass out of the house and start running. I don't know.

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1 hour ago, St Mike said:

 

 

You state a very valid point, Chaosed.

Many people tend forget how advice is delivered can be as important as the advice itself. It is so patronising to hear people repeat the same points over and over again as if they were speaking to a 6 year old child. 

As you have mentioned, smoking helps you cope with the tension.

I usually do martial arts when I feel tensed out. I would do air kicks and punches. I am considering buying a punching bag, too bad I can't install one in the office.....

Other than that, I also do breath meditation. It involves find a quiet spot, closing my eyes and focusing on the inhaling and exhaling of the breath . When a thought or sensation or outside stimuli arises, I don't dwell on the thought, just notice it with equanimity, and return to the breath straight away. I noticed anxiety levels drop as early as 10 minutes into the meditation, the reason is the mind becomes focus on the breath instead of the thought that caused the anxiety. This is one of my favourite forms of meditation that I use to combat anxiety.

The forum members have already given pretty good advice, so I wouldn't repeat them. Basically you use another activity to replace smoking to help cope with the tension, in doing so it will help you quit smoking too. A win-win situation. 

 

Your advice is great, too! I love mindfulness meditation, but I only do it before going to sleep. Maybe I should try to do it during the day too, to see how it goes.

So the catch I think it is to find something to replace smoking with, when I feel tensed. I'll think about it!!

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57 minutes ago, chaosed said:

I agree! Unfortunately somehow I decided to put my health on hold until I finished college. Which I don't really understand, since in the last year of highschool and first year of college I was extremely health conscious. I also could never have imagined I would start smoking. I somehow stopped all my pleasurable activities for fear I wouldn't have enough time to study. I stopped cooking, reading, going out (plus fear I would make a fool out of myself). So the cigarettes were the only pause I had from all the study and tension in my family. I made a lot of bad choices... But thank you for the reminder, I would start reincorporating some of these activities back into my life :)

I do have a lot of fears regarding exercising, and running, which keep me stuck at the moment. Every time I think about starting running, I get this image of a slim sexy me dumping my boyfriend for making fun of my weight for such a long time.

I understand that now I am fat, I smoke and I don't have money for pretty clothes. But when I will have these things, knowing myself, I would be very frustrated at the ones that stressed me out so much on these subjects: which are my mother and my boyfriend. For my mother, I have nothing to say against her, parents can be extremely suffocating sometimes. But for my boyfriend... if all I asked of you was to respect me and my choices, and give me peace of mind (not bothering me every couple of days with two hours of advice regarding my current state), do I not deserve it? Even if now I am a fat broke student, I think I deserve that. I'm not talking about when I ask for advice, or when he thinks it's best he would give it. But he gives it very often, and in a rude manner. He says I'm lazy, a lot. So let's say I will be slim and have money when I'll get a job, as I'm pretty sure I will, and my boyfriend would stop giving me that advice. The fact that he would stop would angers me beyond measure. Why would you give me peace of mind when everything is ok, but not when I am fat and broke? It's still the same me. It makes no sense to me. And it frustrates me. I am a frustrated pal. I am pretty sure I would think it's not fair, and I am pretty sure it has something to do with my scrupulosity OCD. So this is the reason that I am afraid of starting exercising, to avoid all those feelings of being wronged by my boyfriend I'm sure I'll have. Maybe I won't have them, but I don't see how would that be possible, unless I would change my opinion regarding how I want to be treated in various situations of life, or unless I understand that he did not know any better (and he still doesn't) or maybe it's an excuse for me to get my ass out of the house and start running. I don't know.

You may be using these fears as an excuse to avoid exercising. Only you know that.

Regarding you rediscovering a new slimmer, and most importantly happier, you, this can only be a positive. If suddenly your fella has nothing about which to criticise you, and feels insecure as a consequence of your newfound confidence, then it's his responsibility to step up or ship out.

From what you've written he sounds like he needs a wake up call. Perhaps transforming your health (and as a happy side effect) your weight will provide him with it.

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I can relate to the smoking thing as it's something that plagues me,I smoke too much and more when stressed.

and I think my OCD plays a part in smoking even if I don't really want one,I think about smoking and simply have to have one.

stupidly I've even used smoking as a form of self-harm in the past when I've been low I've thought,sod it I'll smoke more and it will shorten my life,stupid I know . 

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On ‎5‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 14:00, bruces said:

 

 

stupidly I've even used smoking as a form of self-harm in the past when I've been low I've thought,sod it I'll smoke more and it will shorten my life,stupid I know . 

I've done this too! It's so stupid right..

Why do we feel like punishing ourselves with this? Why would we want to end our lives, or shorten our lifespan?

If in those dire moments we would remember that is always light at the end of the tunnel, and treat ourselves kindly instead of punishing ourselves with this, by meditating for example, I think it would do us more good.

Or when I smoke because I'm bothered, it just numbs my feelings, it's just a way of trying to escape the situation, instead of facing the feelings, owning up to the situation, learning to handle it and finding solution :(

On the long term this behaviour in maladaptative, as by doing this we deprive ourselves of learning the skills to face and manage those situations.

Many ex smokers which used smoking as a coping mechanism find themselves battling with anger issues and such long time after they quit. It's an undesirable way of handling a situation, wether you have OCD or not.

This is the easy way out, but it teaches us nothing. Not smoking in those situations is harder, but it's well worth it.

Or as I like to say, and sorry for sounding cheesy, but no pain, no gain :D

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On ‎22‎/‎05‎/‎2017 at 20:19, Wonderer said:

my doctor told me not to stop as it would be too stressful while I was already under a lot of stress!

Really?  Seems a little 'out there' advice.

I don't have any advice, other than to relay a story of my dad (now 68) who had been smoking since he was a kid until two years ago, 60 odd years.  He would light up from 7am until bed and I assumed he would never ever quit.  Then about two years ago he had a clot in his leg, and was told quit or die within 6 months. He quit... just stopped and I know he's stuck to it because I could smell his cigars on me if I visited, the place has smelled clean and fresh ever since. 

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I think the physical side of smoking may appear to relieve stress but my understanding is that smoking actually speeds up adrenaline and increases blood pressure so in effect causes some physical symptoms of anxiety?

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It's a common misconception that smoking relieves stress,it doesn't it makes it worse,Allan carrs stop smoking book explains the cognitive reason why we smoke.when people say I have a cigarette to calm down,it's not down to the cigarette it's the fact that people remove themselves from the stressful situation in order to have a cigarette therefore that's why their stress levels come down.

i hate smoking it's an awful habit that has no positives to it,I personally wish they were banned but unfortunately at the moment I'm not in the right mindset to quit. 

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2 hours ago, Ashley said:

Really?  Seems a little 'out there' advice.

I don't have any advice, other than to relay a story of my dad (now 68) who had been smoking since he was a kid until two years ago, 60 odd years.  He would light up from 7am until bed and I assumed he would never ever quit.  Then about two years ago he had a clot in his leg, and was told quit or die within 6 months. He quit... just stopped and I know he's stuck to it because I could smell his cigars on me if I visited, the place has smelled clean and fresh ever since. 

Yeah really. And he's a very good doctor too, just said the timing wasn't right, I'd more serious issues to deal with, and now I'm bit more at myself i'm ready to try again. 

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