Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone. I have recently been diagnosed with OCD and have been on prescribed medication for two months. I have yet to start cbt and erp. The main 'intrusive thoughts' (I don't know whether they are intrusive or not) are sexual. It mostly consists of sexual orientation doubts (I have no clue whether they are real or fake anymore, and therefore I no longer know my sexuality), incest and thoughts about authority figures. I want to make clear that I absolutely hate these thoughts. But, what if I like them? Am I  supposed to have them? Is this me for the rest of my life? I have had them for two and half years and they are only getting more frustrating. In the beginning i started off by analysing my dreams, checking memories, checking for any arousal, avoiding anything to do with any of these subjects, checking for attraction, going over it in my head constantly, talking to family members, researching on the internet etc. The anxiety and the depression have decreased overtime; so I don't know whether they are real or not. It's made me lose attraction towards the preferred sex, made me feel anxious towards everything sexual. I have not hugged a family member without being worried that I am interested in them sexually in two years, I have like I said lost all appeal towards sex and I just feel awful. I no longer feel like the girl who I once was; excited to date and get married and all that. I was once excited about beginning this aspect of my life; but now it just bring so much dread and anxiety. It can't be OCD, these thoughts wouldn't have continued on for so long if they didn't mean anything. My attractions towards men should have returned by now. I see people who suffer from the same thoughts as me and they can still be attracted to their preferred sex. Even if i do I feel anxious. So, does this mean I can no longer find them sexually attractive? I hate this! 

I'm very sorry for rambling on for so long, (especially as the post makes not much sense) I guess to sum it up is that I'm fed up of not feeling the way I used to feel. I hate feeling like this. Can anybody who has been through this help me out please? 

Thanks :) 

Link to comment

Hi don't know and welcome to the forum.

Everything you've said sounds exactly like OCD. Lots of people suffer the same obsessions as you.

You do know what your sexual orientation is; it's just that, right now, that knowledge is being suppressed by a never ending stream of thoughts and questions from OCD.

One thing you need to learn is about compulsions. All that you wrote, about analyzing your thoughts, etc., are compulsions. They are actually what is keeping you stuck. When you do compulsions, you feed the OCD monster, guaranteeing that more bad thoughts will come back in the future.

Have you talked to anyone about this or considered getting CBT?

Link to comment

Hello PolarBear and thanks for the reply! I have spoken about it before, but my therapist isn't really sure about the sexual orientation aspect being a part of my OCD or me just figuring out my sexuality. So that doesn't make me feel very good.

I am going to be starting cbt next week, so hopefully that will help :) 

Link to comment

Hiya, don't worry about what the therapist said about figuring out ur sexual orientation, if I were you I'd definitely print off something on the subject of homosexual obsessions because once she knows they're treated the same way as all other OCD issues. My therapist knew right off the bat that I was having obsessions about my sexuality rather than actually being gay, and he told me if I was a lesbian/evil/psychopath etc I would just be off living as those things without a care in the world. X

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...