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Really really struggling/Need advice


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Hi all, this past week or so my anxiety has peaked and every thought I'm having is coming back just as strong as when my OCD was at its worst, I actually feel like I'm spiralling back down to when my OCD was at its worst, I feel sick, every thought I have leads to me doubting myself then that leads to me doubting if I even have OCD or if I'm a horrible person, I keep worrying that I'm going back to the worst point that i was at that I won't eat, I'll wake up and go to sleep feeling sick, I'm just so fed up. Also I've been feeling depressed in myself recently I don't know if it's to do with going to bed so late at night like early morning an then waking up mid afternoon everyday, but I'm in such a bad routine I'm still waiting to start work and even that's scaring me now as I've been off for a few weeks now due to leaving my other job, so the thought of going back to works making me worry. 

Even though I feel so bad this week I have a clearer understanding of OCD as a whole and the compulsions that I do but I'm finding it really hard to let go of certain thoughts, like other thoughts don't give me as much anxiety but say if I have a new thought it hits me out of nowhere and I can't focus my mind on anything else, I panicked and filled out a form for my local mental health service last night as I feel I need further support, my minds just all over the place don't know what to think as there is so many different themes affecting and taking a toll on me.

any help or advice?

Edited by Kieran123
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Hi Kieran. I always think it's advantageous to go back to basics during times of difficulty. You've identified that your sleep pattern is unhealthy, so from tomorrow set your alarm for the time you will need to awaken when you begin your new job. Slowly your sleep routine will return. Do you eat healthily, exercise, meditate? Are you making the time for enjoyable activities, both in company and by yourself? You mentioned you've populated a form at your local surgery. Have you also approached your GP regarding a referral to the mental health team?

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15 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

Hi Kieran. I always think it's advantageous to go back to basics during times of difficulty. You've identified that your sleep pattern is unhealthy, so from tomorrow set your alarm for the time you will need to awaken when you begin your new job. Slowly your sleep routine will return. Do you eat healthily, exercise, meditate? Are you making the time for enjoyable activities, both in company and by yourself? You mentioned you've populated a form at your local surgery. Have you also approached your GP regarding a referral to the mental health team?

Hi yes I eat healthy and go the gym everyday throughout the week so I'm healthy and fit, I'm just in a terrible pattern of going to sleep and waking up. I filled out a referral form online last night as I've already had my therapy a few weeks ago now but I feel as though I need to go back and have a bit more support 

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1 minute ago, Kieran123 said:

Hi yes I eat healthy and go the gym everyday throughout the week so I'm healthy and fit, I'm just in a terrible pattern of going to sleep and waking up. I filled out a referral form online last night as I've already had my therapy a few weeks ago now but I feel as though I need to go back and have a bit more support 

And what about meditation and regularly socialising with friends?

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7 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

And what about meditation and regularly socialising with friends?

Yes I always go out and I've found myself to have recovered well but during the past week various new intrusive thoughts have popped into my head and I think it's led to my anxiety increasing and because I haven't had the reassurance that these new thoughts are associated with OCD it's made me feel so on edge and a horrible sick feeling

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Can you pinpoint anything different now from when you were coping well? Is there something you've started doing? Or stopped doing? Might it be that you're feeling overwhelmed about beginning your new job and this is feeding your obsessive thinking?

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@OceanDweller I don't feel overwhelmed about starting work again that's the thing, I want to so I get myself back into a routine. I think the downfall for me the past few days has definetly been me seeking reassurance from both the forum an my loved ones but if I get a new thought I panic 

 

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