PhilM Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 As always I don't want to sabotage other forum users' threads and just my opinion (© PhilM). A lot of us OCD/anxiety sufferers (maybe not ex-sufferers) seem so excessively concerned with what other people think. We seem to think other people know what's going on in our head or predict what other people are thinking about us. We think "when we're acting weird" (when we're not) people are noticing and judging us - and if they are, so what? The flip side of the coin is that often people are genuinely concerned if they see someone looking distressed. We also catastrophise events weeks away with the same "what if, what if, what if" running through our heads and then the event happens and it may not be the most pleasant experience in the world but often it is not as bad as we feared. All of the above applies to me. I've always been a worrier and obviously this increased massively when OCD started but I've really started to try and address the above now slowly, slowly and as always this forum has been massively helpful. Just some thoughts. Phil. Over and out. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Good post Phil. I used to be so sensitive to the opinions of others. I wanted to be the man at whom's funeral nobody has a bad word to say. But then I began thinking, 'what a boring life that man must've lived'. These days I'd much rather be disliked than ignored. Besides, no matter what we do, some weary willy will always have something negative to impart. And so I really do try to live my life as if nobody's watching. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 I should add, I believe this philosophical attitude is one of the few gifts a history of addiction has presented me with. I know that, even if I spend the next 30 years sober, lots of folk will always judge me by how I behaved whilst inebriated. And that's up to them. It's not my responsibility to fret about how I'm viewed or to try to force perceptions to alter. So I just don't think about it. And, consequently, I never worry about it either. Link to comment
PhilM Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 Thanks for the responses OD. Now I'm off for an anniversary lunch with my wife. Have a good day. Best wishes, Phil. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Happy anniversary Phil. Enjoy. Link to comment
taurean Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 (edited) Another nice post anniversary man Phil. For me, worry goes hand in glove with, and significantly assists, OCD to do its deadly work. Take a straw poll on how many of us here admit to being worriers and many would put up their hands. Worry is a rumination. So tackling worry will also help us to tackle OCD. But it isn't as simple as that - there are various types of worry - all rational or irrational. And many have concerns such as "will I ever overcome OCD" alongside rational worries like money job prospects finding a girlfriend /boyfriend, somewhere to live. Worry is beatable. I used to worry about anything and everything, but I learned to stop doing that. And I have learned to watch out for worry aiding OCD, and get to grips with that. As with all psychological bad habits, worries are there to be overcome. Edited May 24, 2017 by taurean Link to comment
taurean Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 The practice of thinking other people think the worst about us is the cognitive distortion of mind-reading. OCD loves to engage with such cognitive distortions to support its suggestion we were are or could be bad. Mind-reading is however challengeable by rational response - looking for tangible evidence for the bad and not finding it Link to comment
PhilM Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 (edited) A slight tangent but relevant I think. I found out the hard way that staying in the house/flat and ruminating about what "might" happen if I went out made me feel even more fearful. Yes, I've had lots of panic attacks in public (also on planes, trains and darn it automobiles) but did any of the things I feared happening happen? Did I ever "involuntarily" hurt a child? I think, friends, you'll know the answer to the questions above without me having to elaborate. Best wishes, Phil. Edited May 25, 2017 by PhilM adding a bit Link to comment
taurean Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 It's illuminating isn't it? We ate prepared to spend hours ruminating and worrying about things that don't happen It's OCD that does that when we obsess and compulse. I used to worry about any and everything, until I accepted how sapping and pointless that was, I learned how to stop worrying and get my life back. When I am on top of my OCD therapy, I don't see or notice the triggers that otherwise would floor me. And if they do come along, I just ease them away without connecting with them. Link to comment
Starbuck Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I needed this thread today. I have literally just been out and surrounded by people that I have perceived have a unfavourable opinion of me and was trying not to ruminate on it. I logged on to forum for first time in a while and found this. Thank you. Link to comment
taurean Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Hi Starbuck, I am pleased we have been able to help you. Great topic from Phil. Link to comment
Starbuck Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Thanks Taurean. I feel much better now. Sometimes you just need the right words on bad days. Link to comment
PhilM Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 Glad it was helpful. Sharing my thoughts and feelings is cathartic to me and feedback to my posts is always most appreciated. Best wishes, Phil. Link to comment
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