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Losing my Religion


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I couldn't find a better title so here it goes

 

my family are conservative Muslims, they're modern, we live in Turkey which is secular, we go to swim together with every gender, we don't wear headscarves. but still they believe Islam strongly. I have been raised like that. But now I don't really know if I am still a Muslim. I am fed up with the community and them being overly conservative. I also don't understand why God would send religions. Anyways, I'm not gonna discuss these. 

 

Today is the first day of Ramadan and i didn't fast, i wouldn't if I was still a Muslim because i have finals to study for. But today the conversation i had with my friends came to Ramadan and she said she's an atheist so she doesn't know so why don't I know. I replied her:"Well, I'm a deist" 

also on twitter this girl kept saying:"why do atheists criticize only Islam?" Referrig to Turkish atheists i think. I felt the need to explain that they criticize their own environment and i mentioned that I'm a a deist. 

 

But now i feel bad for saying I'm a deist and i want to go back to Islam because I'm scared of hell. Though i still don't understand why God would need us to believe in a religion. However, i think doors of Islam are closed for me and God and prophet Mohammad won't accept me back. 

 

Also i have been hung up on a music group and i have been listening to their songs and watching their interviews a lot recently. I wake up and look for their news. Now even they make me stressed. I had an anxiety attack in library for hours and now I'm in my place because i couldn't take it anymore. 

 

Are these normal? Can i go back to Islam? Will that music group make me happy again?

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Hi there I am not sure how I can help you but I like to think I am an Omnist. I also have a friend who has become a Bahá'í.

Edited by daja
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Hello there, cutebunny!

Speaking as a Christian whose OCD got going when I started going to church at 15, I can really empathise. I have had so many struggles with my religion over the years and more than once have been tempted to walk away - but I personally believe in my God and my Nan, when she was alive, was always happy to speak to me about it. My brother who also has OCD advised me to walk away from religion when I was 21 due to the mental anguish I was going through. Personally, I don't want to do that, but that's just me.

If you've got finals to study for then you must be kind of stressed and preoccupied right now. I can tell you that I wouldn't really fancy fasting if I was studying. I always admire the Muslim religion for Ramadan, as it's a period of reflection and self-discipline, but of course it's also a period for you to reflect personally on you and what you believe. You're allowed to think outside the box. In Christianity there are obviously loads of different ways of thinking; I'm not an evangelist as I find there's a certain lack of compassion in evangelism and although my OCD causes me scrupolosity and rigidity, I try and think liberally. If it's any consolation I have a friend from Uni who comes from a very conversative Christian background and I always struggled during our group visits to her place because the rules were very strict, there was religious memorabilia everywhere and a certain 'coldness' that I didn't like. I had to really try and look out for myself and I don't think I'll go back up there ever again, if I can avoid it.

I'm sure the God you believe in understands your struggles; I often pray to God for guidance with personal matters and I feel that whatever we believe in, we are regarded with compassion and understanding of humanity. :hug:

C x

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