night thoughts on palpitations before sleep

[chaosed]

Palpitations always were my first sign of anxiety, and if they would appear I would know to calm down, not because I knew what anxiety was, but because I knew I was agitated. I only panicked when the palpitations didn't go away... for three weeks. And here I am, a year later. I learned a lot in this year, but the problem which initially troubled me the most didn't go away. (troubled me besides OCD fears and stuff lol)

I really don't know what to do about it. They start the second I put my head on the pillow, but now i've learned to accep them and fall asleep. Still, if I didn't sleep enough for a couple of days, I have a harder time falling asleep because of them, because they just get stronger and stronger and my chest starts hurting and I get tingles throughout my body (especially in the extremities)

Last monday they almost went away, and as I was enjoying a pleasant meditation a thought poped into my mind "what if I won't fall asleep and I won't sleep all night then tomorrow I'll be grumpy and I will never be able to fall asleep again, unless I'm on medication" and they started again, and since then they grew slowly in intensity (whereas before they would get milder and milder).

I tried to decatastrophise it, by thinking it's not true I don't have evidence etc, but I know it isn't true and at the same time apparently I'm so afraid it would happen that I get palpitations every night which make falling asleep harder. Plus if I insist on the fact that it isn't true doesn't seem too helpful, as I feel I only try to reassure myself lol.

I don't know, how do you guys deal with decatastrophising something you have so many evidence against?

I went to a quack psychologist once, it was quite lame, very grandiose and bragging constantly about him, but in that session, 60 minutes, he made me completely decatastrophise going crazy, I still can't believe it. I'm only sorry I didn't go to him one more time to talk about this lol.

The great psychologist I went to over 20 sessions couldn't help me get over my fear od going crazy. It's odd when you think about this, that a psychologist whose ways seem so offputting and unprofessional helped me so much with this, while the other could only help me that much.