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I've been around a lot of children this weekend and at times it has been tough but one thing I've realised is that - even after I hugged my friend's little girl - there was none of the so-called "groinal response" (a term I don't really like but I know the sensations we experience have nothing to do with "arousal"). I still ritualise at times, cross the road at times etc. but no were near as much as I used to do.

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Guest David green

I do that to if im getting you right well i used to if children were coming towards me i would cross the road sometimes.I dont like the sound of that groinal response either but from what i know its anxiety that makes that happen so we should not really take any notice of it.

Sounds like you did really well ive just been trying to keep myself busy over the weekend because my interest in things has come back.Ive been making myself go to the small tescos more so that if i see children near the till it gets easier for me.But getting skint :) going tescos all the time.

Edited by David green
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Well done David and Phil. 

We all must do similar with our own themes of OCD - because that bad old OCD operates in its usual way whatever the theme in which it is expressed. 

Might be as here, the paedophile theme, might be the harm theme of myself and lost, or the contamination theme of Ashley and snowbear. 

The theme doesn't matter - and we have no say in the one given to us. 

What we can build a say in is whether we can see it for the OCD it is, and refuse to pay it any attention. 

Work on that and you can move towards recovery, whatever the theme of the OCD. 

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Guest David green

More well done to phill but glad my interest in things has come back as before i just didnt want to get involved in anything.I was going to tescos a lot the small shops but cut down on it now as im getting a belly and spending a lot.Its just that facing the fear when we can but did try a tescos near my mothers the other day as i was avoiding that shop.Think it was because once this was before i got unwell i see a little girl and that anxiety just came out of nowhere and the security guard noticed.So the other security have been different one time two of them were talking while looking at me so i said to the guy you talking about me then i walked up to one while i was going out the shop starred him in the face and said allright.But now im cool with them.

Edited by David green
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Remember you two we don't get to choose the theme of our OCD. And when it has picked one that takes one of our true core character values and alleges the opposite, or an upsetting variant, it is very tough to cope. 

We can't just get rid of it by forcing it away. 

By what we can do is accept that is what the OCD is doing. Acceptance is so important. 

Then set up a programme of non-avoidance, exposure, and - most importantly - sensing the unwanted thoughts and urges and feeling upset repulsed and anxious initially. But reminding ourselves we are being manipulated by the OCD, and we gain management of the situation by learning to let go, ease down our emotional response. 

When we start that process, then gently ease away from the OCD thoughts and on to love kindness joy happiness (happy pleasant emotions)  the anxiety response will ease away, and we will become able to experience trigger situations without responding. 

That's how the CBT process works folks. Acceptance, exposure removing the stigma and upset from thoughts and urges - which we accept as not real but OCD lies and exaggerations - and then easing wilfully but gently to beneficial happy things. 

David, your "mind-reading"  cognitive distortion about what others are thinking about you is another challenge for you - but I sense you are standing up to that challenge. For me, your actions may draw attention to you so you simply need to change those - and see that you are "mind-reading" - thinking a bad interpretation about you by others - and when you realise that, gently and wilfully change the subject to something happy and beneficial. 

I sense you are on the move folks. Remember the above and that we, unless we change our thoughts and reactions,  are the pawns in OCD's unpleasant game of life, and gradually win back control. 

Lostinme, myself and a whole host of others are cheering you on. It's not easy but it's the same for us all - the OCD just has the same meat (the basic way it works)  but with different gravy (the themes). 

:cheer:

My wife has that cognitive distortion - she thinks others think badly about her. So I am gradually helping her to change her thinking too. And it's beginning to work!  That is so exciting :)

 

Edited by taurean
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Guest David green

Back then before i got unwell thats how i carried on its only that shop i remember that day the security guard came out the shop when i did.But saying that i do listen to you roy and i was under so much stress and worry that made me unwell it shocked me as i thought it was all behind me.Phill is doing good coming off them pills that must be real hard i have been given them pills but never take them now instead if i need something i use phenergan.

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I use the betablocker Propranolol but only when I really really need to (it reduces the arousal hormone cortisol in our bloodstream)  - all the time I use the CBT as described above and it really works when we truly accept and believe the OCD uses falsehood exaggeration demands for certainty and revulsion to try and ruin our lives. 

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Guest David green

Yeah i was prescribed propanolol before it gave me diarrhea because i didnt use it all the time only when needed so i ended up sticking with phenergan.When i do go into a shop im saying false core belief to myself if children are around like you said and the thing i would probably focus on would be my mother.

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Guest Nikki79

Guys I feel for you all. I am a grown woman at 38 years of age who has twenty years of OCD ruining my life. My twenties were a blur and only got any real help in the pat few years. I don't want to let this monster ruin my life for me and let's face it life is tough enough. I also have the theme about children and it can be so difficult and made me ill so many times when I was around them. My beautiful niece has just come into the world since Sunday and although I won't get to see her for a few months as I live in another country I will not let this monster ruin it for me. I want to be the best Auntie ever 

I am so proud of you all for trying and persevering every day with this awful awful disorder. I have started some meds today now to help me cope.

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I wish I could go into details about the non-OCD problems I have had in the last four days and particularly today but it would be inappropriate here. :(

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I want to thank you guys for the kind words and encouragement in this thread.  I've been having a bit of a relapse with my child themed OCD recently and have to attend a couple of family events in the next few days which which can be either okay or nerve-wracking depending on my mood.  I hate this but at the same time I'm realizing if I'm to continue on I have to live and deal with it no matter what it throws at me though it can incredibly tough at times.  Your all brave folks in my books.  

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