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Bad relapse, suicidal thoughts..


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So I've been having a bad relapse of my (P)OCD recently and its really bugging me.  I've been acting on compulsions to look up stuff and worrying about things I was okay with a couple of weeks back.  Its like once I completed my initial weekly round of CBT therapy, the lessons have disappeared or I'm finding it really hard to apply them.  I've been fighting my reoccurent intrusive thoughts plus my suicidal ideation has made a strong comeback as I can't feel l can live like this the rest of my life.  I have my nephews birthday on Wednesday and I don't know if I can mentally make it or not.  I'm trying to avoid ruminating or overthinking but its just proving to be so hard with my up and down mood swings.  I hate this, I feel like such a bad person.  

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You've had a bad day or two. They happen. Tomorrow you wake up, rememberchat you've been taught and put it into action again. You just pick up where you left off and keep going.

The only way to fight OCD is by not fighting it. Pushing back against it is a compulsion and will only get you in more trouble.

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