Groinal responses, feel very desperate.

[Avo]

Hi All,

As someone who is worried they are attracted to children, today I had the worst groinal response to date. My son came and sat on my lap and I am ashamed to say I got pretty much full arousal. I panicked and had to move him from my lap. This happened twice in a few mins. This has really thrown me as in all my years of having this worry I don't remember having such a worrying response.

I am currently in the middle of CBT and hoped I was making progress but this had floored me. I feel so ashamed, I am having to go out now and act 'normal' but feel I am carrying round a dark secret that if everyone knew they would be disgusted.

Can anyone please advise if they have had such a blatant groinal response but recovered to get on with their lives? 

Thank you

[PolarBear]

You're really looking for reassurance. Instead you need to know that these sensations are very common with OCD.

You did a compulsion by moving your son, rather than dismissing the sensation as irrelevant. You're probably also ruminating over this, which is another compulsion.

The way forward for you is to pay as little attention as possible to the sensations.

[Unsurechap]

Avo, i feel for you. that must be really tough to deal with. I cant offer s huge amount of advice to you except to say its something you are clearly bothered by which tells its own story. Erections can occur for any number of reasons and the groinal response is well documented in OCD. i know its scary but trust in the fact that it bothers you enough to write to an ocd forum...

[Avo]

Hi Both

Thank you for replying to me yes PolarBear I am ruminating massively over this, it really ruined my day yesterday an has seeped into today. I just felt horrible. I will try and listen to your advice, it's just so worrying given the context in which it happened. 

Thanks also Unsurechap, I have done some research and read up on the groinal responses (possibly me doing a compulsion there?) but as ever with OCD I am doubting it and just worrying that I am looking for excuses.

[OceanDweller]

Hi Avo

If even the tiniest part of you were that which you fear, you'd be off doing whatever these monsters do, not fretting on an OCD forum.

[Avo]

Hi OceanDweller,

thanks for replying to this thread, I always appreciate the feedback from yourself and others. I know your logically right. it's just OCD is such a terrible disorder it makes you doubt everything. I am undergoing CBT at the moment so am hoping this is just a 'blip' on the road to recovery. I feel like confessing to my therapist so she sees what I really am  but I know this would be re-assurance seeking. I need to just sit with the anxiety and not engage I suppose. 

Thanks again for your reply. 

[OceanDweller]

You're welcome Avo.

Remember, such types are not scared or remorseful. Because you are SO anxious and rueful, the gulf between them and you could not be greater.

[Avo]

Hi All,

Having considered this issue I am sure it was full arousal, I wonder if this changes things cos I initially said 'pretty much full arousal'. I worry that this changes the goalposts and means I have something to worry about and need to speak/confess to my CBT therapist?. This issue died down a bit over the last few days but has reared its ugly head again. I don't want to confess to her but feel compelled to.

[snowbear]

4 hours ago, Avo said:

Having considered this issue RUMINATION  ... 

I wonder if this changes things OCD DOUBT ....

I worry that this changes the goalposts ... RUMINATION

and means I have something to worry about ....OCD DOUBT

and need to speak/confess to my CBT therapist? COMPULSION

This issue died down a bit over the last few days but has reared its ugly head again. RUMINATION EFFECT

I don't want to confess to her but feel compelled to. COMPULSION

Seeing it separated out like that, Avo, what do you think is happening here?

Telling your therapist so you can devise suitable exposure exercises together is one thing, but feeling compelled to confess every new OCD thought you experience is something entirely different. 

I'm not suggesting you should or shouldn't speak to your therapist, that's up to you. But before you decide, consider whether doing so is to compulsively offload anxiety or with the aim of discussing it rationally and objectively with someone else.

[Lish]

Hi there!

Groinal response isn't arousal in the slightest. It is a result of high anxiety.  Please don't mix the two up

The idea is to sit through the anxiety no matter how bad it is, until it eventually goes down. For example, you should have allowed your son to stay on your knee, dismiss the thought let it pass through your mind and focus on something else. 

The problem isn't the thought, it's how you react to them. And because you suffer from an anxiety disorder this means it is blown way out of proportion. Been there and got the t shirt. 

Cutting out compulsions is the key to getting back to normal. Recognize your compulsions and tell yourself you don't need to do them, you Choose not to carry them out.

[Avo]

Hello Snowbear and Lish, if I am honest I feel the need to tell my therapist for re-assurance purposes to get the 'burden' off my mind so to speak. I worry what she will think of me and the situation. I have had therapy in the past (with someone also from first step which is the NHS option in my area) and they explained to my theory A and Theory B which I have written down somewhere and is to do with groinal responses.

I think the thing that shocked me about this was it was surprise element of this incident, I have in the past suffered from this groinal response but not for a while and not so severely if you like. 

Thank you both for your response, I do appreciate it, I think it helps for people to point things out as I find I become so embroiled in the worry that I struggle to think clearly.

[Lish]

Just rmember that reassurance is a compulsion,and if you carry on seeking it you are continuing with your compulsions therefore the ocd will continue. 

No matter how much you ruminate or ask for reassurance you will never get an answer that's good enough. That's our problem when we have ocd.

The groinal response is the result of anxiety shooting through your body and nothing more. Don't try to make sense of it. Just allow it to happen, shrug it off and get on with your day.

 

Repetition of this will allow you to get your oCD to diminish over time.

[Avo]

Thanks Lish, what you say makes sense. By bringing this up with my therapist i am performing a compulsion. OCD is such a horrible disorder at times. It feels like having an evil chameleon living in my head that seems one step ahead and adapts and blends in very quickly to find my weak spot whatever it is at the time.

[OceanDweller]

45 minutes ago, Avo said:

like having an evil chameleon living in my head

This is a deliciously dark description of OCD Avo. Bravo!

[Avo]

Glad you like that one OceanDweller, you can use it if you like.