Are these obsessions and compulsions? Help

[Donnahoney1]

I have anxiety and obsessional thoughts and I wondered if anyone could provide any advice please? I suffered a trauma as a child (sexual) and my OCD seems to have latched on to this real life event and plaguing me with obsessive thoughts about the subject. These are all sexual and mostly questions that I feel I must know the answer to/or find out the answer by either googling or asking someone. I feel awful when I am uncertain about not knowing the answer to something it gives me anxiety and then to lesson the anxiety I need to find the answer. Are these obsessions and compulsions? I am finding it so difficult to stop doing it, what would be a good way to stop this? Would I need to sit with the obsessive thought and not try and answer them?  And sit with being uncertain? I don't know how to stop it.  I'm too ashamed to share my thoughts with a therapist because of what they are linked to incase they are shocked by them.

 

Thank you

 

 

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[Ashley]

Hi Donna, welcome to the forums, and I am sorry that you are struggling. I will do my best to highlight which is which, but in brief yes what you describe are obsessions and compulsions (OCD), although of course I am not a Dr I should point out

2 hours ago, Donnahoney1 said:

These are all sexual and mostly questions that I feel I must know the answer to/or find out the answer by either googling or asking someone.

The need to know is the 'obsession'. The Googling or asking someone is what we call 'reassurance seeking' so would be the 'compulsion'.  

 

2 hours ago, Donnahoney1 said:

I feel awful when I am uncertain about not knowing the answer to something it gives me anxiety and then to lesson the anxiety I need to find the answer

The increase in anxiety after the obsession is commonplace with OCD, and the need to lesson the anxiety (find the answer in your case) is common with all aspects of OCD and of course leads to the compulsion.

 

2 hours ago, Donnahoney1 said:

I am finding it so difficult to stop doing it, what would be a good way to stop this? Would I need to sit with the obsessive thought and not try and answer them?  And sit with being uncertain? I don't know how to stop it.  I'm too ashamed to share my thoughts with a therapist because of what they are linked to incase they are shocked by them.

Sitting with the thought is partly the way forward, but it's much more complex than that in that we have to understand the thought, what it means to us, why it bothers us so much and look to see if there are alternative ways to process the thoughts. This is done in therapy in the cognitive aspect of therapy.   Sitting with being uncertain is also part of it, but is easier after doing the cognitive side of therapy.   

I really would urge you to speak to a therapist (CBT, cognitive behavioural therapist). Sadly your story of OCD is not unique, it's a story  have heard a few times over the years so I know an experienced therapist will have too.

For now if you're not yet ready to go down the therapist route, try and understand and educate yourself more. Break free from OCD is a great CBT book written by three NHS experts - http://www.ocduk.org/break-free-from-ocd

Wishing you well, Ashley.

[Ashley]

Actually I just noticed your location on your profile. I can recommend a really kind, caring and lovely Dr who happens to be an OCD expert who is based within the NHS in Newcastle. It may be worth (when you are ready) asking your GP to make a referral to Dr Claire Lomax at Centre for Specialist Psychological Therapies, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust.

[Donnahoney1]

Thank you very much for your reply and recommendation I will definitely ask my GP if I can be referred. I have had cbt many times before but have been unable to open up and tell them my exact thoughts for fear of being judged. I know they are just thoughts and don't mean anything but it's very hard to let them go sometimes. 

[PolarBear]

Donna, I was too afraid to tell anyone about my horrible thoughts. Forty years went by. It was half a life lost. When I finally spoke out, it was no big deal. He'd  heard it all before. 

Don't let a minute more go by keeping it a secret. Release yourself and start down the road to recovery. You'll be glad you did.

[Donnahoney1]

I'm going to ask to be referred again, It's hard when they are sexual thoughts as well and I know they are just thoughts and don't mean anything but even I am sometimes taken aback by them, which is probably why I'm ashamed to mention them to a therapist. Iv never had these type of obsessive thoughts before, they always intrude as questions that I need to find an answer to in order to relieve anxiety of not knowing. I think learning to live with not knowing and uncertainty is one of the hardest things iv ever had to practice.

[Lynz]

Hi Donna,

Believe us when we say that your thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, and an OCD therapist will certainly have heard it all before. I've had all kinds of obsessive thoughts, including some really graphic and shocking sexual-related ones. My therapist didn't bat an eyelid when I shared them with him and he had at least 3 other patients with almost exactly the same thoughts anyway.

[No2m]

Hi donna sorry your having a hard time of it yes trying to live with the uncertainty of your thoughts is crippling but trying to find awnsers to those intrusive thought s just keeps you in the cycle (compulsion) it always dose with me .lynz is right therapist there's nothing that is unfamiliar to them so trust me don't be ashamed of your thoughts and if your not satisfied with your treatment change it to find what good for u 

[Donnahoney1]

Thank you for your replies everyone it really means a lot to know others have experienced similar. I didn't realise that intrusive thoughts can be in the form of questions and I try and tell myself that not everyone knows the answer to everything and its not necessary to get the answer to the things that pop up in your mind. It's difficult when they go round and round in your head until you do the compulsion, feels like they will be stuck there forever if you don't find the answers either by googling or seeking reassurance. I suppose it's better to try and let them sit there unanswered!