OCD behaviours affecting others?

[paulfoel]

How do OCD sufferers feel when they're issues affect others?

As a sufferer of really bad depression/anxiety in the past it really used to worry me that my behaviour was affecting others. Yes it does make you not think straight a lot of the time, but I usually used to notice and make an effort to not to.

How would it work for some of you if what you were doing affected other people?

Don't mind so much serious things but, things which caused hassle for others, inconvenience. generally affected them too. Would you be trying not to do this?

See my posts about teenage son. Only just diagnosed but it appears to have been happening for years and I want to know how to approach it because I find it difficult to see whats OCD and whats him being awkward.

[snowbear]

I hope others will jump in and share opinions so it's not just me answering all your posts, Paul.  But I wonder how old you were when you tried not to let your depression/anxiety affect others?

We tend to forget as adults that our teenage years were very self-centred. I don't mean that in a judgemental way, just that the teenage brain is still developing and isn't yet programmed with the adult format of putting other people's feelings on a par with their own. They are selfish by default rather than intentionally selfish.

When you point out that their behaviour is upsetting others they weigh that information differently to how we weigh it up. It's not that your son is made aware of the difficulties and just shrugs it off, uncaring of others feelings, but that he is too wrapped up in his own feelings to be able to rationalise as an adult would that he needs to adapt his behaviour because it is causing problems for others. I personally remember as a child standing there with my head hung, emotionally distraught while outwardly defiant, unable to problem solve a solution that satisfied my first priority (the demands of OCD) while not hurting anybody else. 

There's a good article on teenage brains that I think every parent should read. It's a bit off topic, but it might give you some insight to why your son appears insensitive. 

 

Beautiful brains- teen adaptivity and plasticity.pdf

[paulfoel]

14 hours ago, snowbear said:

I hope others will jump in and share opinions so it's not just me answering all your posts, Paul.  But I wonder how old you were when you tried not to let your depression/anxiety affect others?

We tend to forget as adults that our teenage years were very self-centred. I don't mean that in a judgemental way, just that the teenage brain is still developing and isn't yet programmed with the adult format of putting other people's feelings on a par with their own. They are selfish by default rather than intentionally selfish.

When you point out that their behaviour is upsetting others they weigh that information differently to how we weigh it up. It's not that your son is made aware of the difficulties and just shrugs it off, uncaring of others feelings, but that he is too wrapped up in his own feelings to be able to rationalise as an adult would that he needs to adapt his behaviour because it is causing problems for others. I personally remember as a child standing there with my head hung, emotionally distraught while outwardly defiant, unable to problem solve a solution that satisfied my first priority (the demands of OCD) while not hurting anybody else. 

There's a good article on teenage brains that I think every parent should read. It's a bit off topic, but it might give you some insight to why your son appears insensitive. 

 

Beautiful brains- teen adaptivity and plasticity.pdf

Thanks Snow - yes I never had problems as a kind only when I was an adult.

Agree what you say about teenagers! Its our first "teenager" so hes difficult to deal with by default as you say. Thanks for the info.