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paulfoel

OCD Sufferers - do they think about anyone else?

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Not a criticism at all. As from other posts, our 13 year old son has been diagnosed. We're waiting for referal. In the meantime, we're also paying for counselling. Not sure about the counselling - all we get from her is "it takes time" but no issues seem to be being addressed at all.

Understand that you're not supposed to accomodate behaviour for someone with OCD but thats easier said than done. But how do you do this with a 13 yr old? We've tried to be a bit understanding but hes got worse and worse

At what point do you have to say enough is enough when it starts to have a serious impact on other family members? It came to a head this weekend and he pretty much physically threatened his mother. 

We don't want to do it wrong and make it worse for him but he doesn't seem to be making much effort at all to help himself. He never talks to us and it seems to be the case if I want to do this I will regardless of everyone else. Should be be more firm? Without phsically restraining him its going to be a problem.

He now only use one toilet in the house (we have three). Same with the shower. He asked for anti-bac wipes, and spray. But he goes overboard and literally soaks everywhere. Turns the room into a bit of health hazard. Same with other parts of the house - if hes there he'll soak it with spray. He wont spray and wipe but prefers to leave it wet because he likes it like. Floor, furniture everything. We've slipped on the floor - inc his little 4 yr old sister. He wont put wipes or anthing in the bin - its got go in toilet, fllor wipes, rubber gloves the lot. 

As with the floor soaking we've told him he can't do that. It WILL block the toilet and then he wont have his toilet.

What do we do?

On the subject of his little sister, he is now really mean to turn? Will literally not go within 10 yards of her because he says she "dirty". Shes getting upset because, of course, she doesnt understand.

I suppose OCD is difficult to understand for people who don't have it. Biggest confusion for us is that his bedroom is literally a pig sty (like all teenagers Im sure). Same for his personal hygiene (its not great). In his bedroom he never cleans or sprays or never gets concerned about his own cleanliness. It just when hes in other parts of the house and everyone else cleanliness.

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This is a tough one for anyone in the same predicament.

Regular counselling is not going to help much. He needs to understand what is happening to him, that he van fight it and how. That comes from Cognitive  Behavioral Therapy. That's what he needs.

Yes, you will have to put your foot down. That means no more involving yourselves in his compulsions. First you need to sit down with him and explain why you won't be helping him anymore. The big reason is because it makes matters worse for him. 

How to handle the situation with your daughter: tell him in a matter of fact way that she is not contaminated in any way. His OCD is telling him that she is but OCD lies 100% of the time. Tell him he has to fight that thought by being near his sister.

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Good advice polar bear.

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Thanks PB. I just wanted to check whether being tough is the right way. But to be honest, I can see no other way.

Wife and I had a chat the other day. Some of the things we can give him a bit of slack to deal with in his own time, but, some, as I've mentioned above pretty much need to stop.

Yes think CBT is needed. I think hes just getting "counselling" but it does seem to cheer him up a bit if nothing else.

With telling me though we've tried. We've tried to be nice and say, look there is really no need to spray the bathroom all the time, like there is no need to wipe it down all the time.Also, that we can't have him leaving it wet because its a hazard and also stuffing everything down the toilet WILL block it. 

Same with his sister. We've said look shes not dirty. He seems a bit strange with this. Most of it seems to be because, in his head, she "touches her bits" which makes it dirty. Must admit I havent noticed. I guess in a way a teenage by may be a but uncomfortable with his 4 year old sister (whos just like a normal 4 year old and doesnt care about being naked etc - probably perfectly normal).

But with these things, we've tried probably 3/4 times - same thing again. Its getting to the point where we're going to have to consider hiding things like the spray etc. Its one thing to not allow him but another to stop him.

H

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