Can anyone listen pls

[lonely mum]

So I think this is contamination ocd again.  I don't think people think like this but I'm not certain to some degree if my thoughts are rational.  I ordered some new clothes and one of the jackets was the last one in stock and he o be honest it must have been a returned item (it was not a new season item).

So my order arrives, every item is nicely packed except this jacket, it's crumpled up inside a crumpled bag that's open.  I take out the jacket to inspect and see something like cardboard fluff falling off and some stuck to the jacket.  I think it's dried sperm but there are no stains, just this 'fluff'.  May be picked up from repackage but the card that the jacket was folded around was fine- crumpled but nothin gets coming off.  I stuck it in the washing machine and took it outside to dry.  As I opened the jerker up outside I'm sure something fell off it.  I thought may be a label but there was nothing of the sort.  I keep thinking it must hve been some of that fluff thing.  Now I keep thinking if it didn't disperse in the wash then it definitely wasn't paper/card an it was bits of dried sperm which must have been stuck.  I can feel myself going crazy An I'm stuck and panic is rising.  

[PolarBear]

You've been through this how many times before? You made things worse by washing the jacket. That was a compulsion. 

What do you think you should do moving forward?

[lonely mum]

I obviously want to wear it - I even touched my face when I took it out the washing machine because I could sense my fear and wanted to just be 'normal' An keep going but now I'm feeling a lot worse.  To top it off I opened a new box of kids storage boxes - 3 inside each other and the middle one is so filthy- it's like got all these stains like grease and even the handles mucky! My daughter had opened them because I'd told her too, having avoided using them for ages and now I'm thinking what have I done?! 

 

 

[Irregular86]

I struggle with this too. Its not you its the OCD and thinking about it rationally you know It will have just been card from the tag. Try and resist your compulsions and just let the thoughts come with out acknowledging them. 

[lonely mum]

Thank you PolarBear an Irregular for your replies.  It's much appreciated. 

[Irregular86]

Very welcome. Hope you're feeling much better