I'm in a complete panic... please help

[BelAnna]

About an hour ago I was sitting in my room when I heard the little girl who lives next door vomiting in her garden. Unfortunately my brother and dad were in the garden (sorting through things from the garage). 

Even though my parent's house (where I'm staying) is detached, it's very close to the next house and conceivably some vomit spray particles could have carried in the air to my brother and dad. I think probably it wouldn't reach me on the first floor but my window was open so I don't know. 

I have emetophobia and contamination OCD centred around Norovirus/stomach viruses. My brother and dad changed their tshirts and washed their hands and I bathed and showered but I'm still in a panic, especially as Dad is preparing the meal tonight. Also our neighbour often pats our dog through a gap in the fence and sometimes deliveries go to their house if we're not in. 

Added to this we're supposed to be going away for the day on Thursday with a six-hour round journey and I'm very concerned that my brother or dad might vomit in the car AND I'm now concerned that there will be a big norovirus outbreak this winter again as I've heard of a few cases recently. 

I tried to calm down in a bubble bath for a bit but I feel really stressed!

Edited August 22, 2017 by BelAnna

[Taffy]

I'm not sure what to say in these situations, someone better placed will be along soon I'm sure.

Just wanted to reply and say things will be ok. Your thinking pattern is controlled by OCD so wants you to think the way you are thinking.

[PolarBear]

Big mistake having your dad and brother change their clothes and you having a shower. Completely unnecessary compulsions that only do harm. 

Take no further steps at all. No extra washing or cleaning. And do try to stop worrying about the coming trip.

People get sick. It's a fact of life. At some time you will get sick. It's going to happen. Worrying about vomit particles travelling from next door was going way overboard.

What are you doing about facing these fears and recovering from them?

Edited August 22, 2017 by PolarBear

[Emsie]

Hi Belanna, 

PolarBear has given some great advice. I know it's hard to see it and so easy for me to say but your OCD is lying to you lovely lady. It's blown it all out of proportion. It's not a rational worry (please know I'm not belittling how you feel in any way, I just want to say how it is). Don't worry that you've already done some compulsions, but try your very best not to do anymore and to not engage in the thoughts. It will pass, the anxiety will reduce. 

Bubble bath was a good idea to try to calm yourself. Try to distract yourself with things that you enjoy, such as a good book, a feel good film....whatever is a good thing for you. 

Thinking of you and sending you lots of positive thoughts. X

Edited August 22, 2017 by Emsie

[daja]

My friend caught norovirus recently and he is no different.

[BelAnna]

Thanks so much for your support Taffy. You're definitely right. I hope you're ok!  

Thanks Polarbear. I think that my OCD does blow things out of proportion but there's a logic behind it- I don't want to vomit, so I avoid anything that could cause norovirus, so I haven't vomited for 10 years. I know that in order to recover from OCD I have to take risks that might mean getting ill again but Emetophobia means that that's a very scary prospect for me (imagine if you were forced into the same house as someone with Ebola- I am almost as afraid as that when someone has Norovirus in my house), whereas for someone without a phobia it's just one of those unpleasant things that happens sometimes! 

Hi Emsie, Thanks lovely for your positive thoughts and helpful reply! I am trying to distract myself now  I know it sounds like I did a lot of compulsions but I actually did fewer rituals that I usually would! 

Thanks Daja, I think he probably felt a bit different for a few days lol but yes few people die from it! 

Edited August 22, 2017 by BelAnna

[PolarBear]

Oh I realize you are fearful of vomiting. It's an unrealistic, irrational fear. Every time you do compulsions you are reinforcing the belief in your mind that there is a problem, when there really isn't.

Part of moving forward with this is challenging that irrational fear and not doing compulsions.

[daja]

32 minutes ago, BelAnna said:

Thanks Daja, I think he probably felt a bit different for a few days lol but yes few people die from it! 

Just a few? So you have as much chance of catching it as all the rest of us?

[BelAnna]

Just now, daja said:

Just a few? So you have as much chance of catching it as all the rest of us?

Yes, at times- at times my avoidance makes me less likely to catch it but also less likely to have any sort of normal life! Some people actually have genetic differences that make them much less likely to catch strains of norovirus but I'm not one of them! 

[Taffy]

It's not dying from it that worries her, I would guess she would rather that than be sick.

The Emetophobia is the issue causing OCD responses.

[daja]

Just now, Taffy said:

It's not dying from it that worries her, I would guess she would rather that than be sick.

The Emetophobia is the issue causing OCD responses.

Ah ok yes.

[Emsie]

1 hour ago, BelAnna said:

Hi Emsie, Thanks lovely for your positive thoughts and helpful reply! I am trying to distract myself now  I know it sounds like I did a lot of compulsions but I actually did fewer rituals that I usually would! 

Hi BelAnna, you are so welcome. That's great you're distracting yourself, you can do this. That's really good that you did fewer rituals that you normally would. Be proud, that's real progress. It's these responses that keep us stuck. Without them, the anxiety will fade. X

Edited August 22, 2017 by Emsie

[BelAnna]

Thanks Emsie, i'm failing miserably at the moment- I am so worried that there are norovirus particles (that are momentarily airborne when someone throws up) in my room as my window was open when our neighbour was sick that I don't want to go into my room to sleep!

I know I'll have to eventually though! 

Edited August 23, 2017 by BelAnna

[PolarBear]

You have to start realizing that your disorder is over inflating the risk present. That's what it does. It takes something exceedingly minor and blows it up into a huge deal. And it always lies. Every time. You make it an even bigger deal by doing compulsions, like staying out of your room.

Time yo face the fear. Go in your room and go to bed. Have no more of this tonight.

[legalseagull]

People have given good advice. Just want to add my support as someone who has the same OCD/vomit phobia. I know it's not a case of simply being scared of vomit - it's being absolutely terrified. We both know it's daft and irrational but that's OCD!

All you can do is keep fighting it. It's so hard to have any kind of life with this fear, I know it ruins everything. Believe that the hard work will pay off and a more exciting life is possible.

[BelAnna]

9 hours ago, PolarBear said:

You have to start realizing that your disorder is over inflating the risk present. That's what it does. It takes something exceedingly minor and blows it up into a huge deal. And it always lies. Every time. You make it an even bigger deal by doing compulsions, like staying out of your room.

Time yo face the fear. Go in your room and go to bed. Have no more of this tonight.

Thanks PolarBear, it definitely does over-inflate the risk. I did manage to get to bed at 2am but I made my bed with fresh sheets, which was another compulsion. 

So my compulsions were: 

- Asking my brother and dad to change shirts

- Showering and changing

- Delaying going to bed

- Changing my sheets

I will try and do fewer next time. 

45 minutes ago, legalseagull said:

People have given good advice. Just want to add my support as someone who has the same OCD/vomit phobia. I know it's not a case of simply being scared of vomit - it's being absolutely terrified. We both know it's daft and irrational but that's OCD!

All you can do is keep fighting it. It's so hard to have any kind of life with this fear, I know it ruins everything. Believe that the hard work will pay off and a more exciting life is possible.

Thanks Legalseagull, Norovirus absolutely terrifies me but usually I feel a bit safer in the summer as outbreaks are more likely in the Winter. How is your Emetophobia at the moment? I have gone through standard CBT for Emetophobia but it didn't really make things any better because at the core of it all I am still terrified so any risk feels too great a risk AND it's difficult to know which preventative steps (e.g. handwashing, hand sanitizer) are reasonable and which are compulsions as different people have different ideas about what is reasonable! 

[Emsie]

12 hours ago, BelAnna said:

Thanks Emsie, i'm failing miserably at the moment- I am so worried that there are norovirus particles (that are momentarily airborne when someone throws up) in my room as my window was open when our neighbour was sick that I don't want to go into my room to sleep!

I know I'll have to eventually though! 

Hi BelAnna, 

I'm really sorry that I didn't see this last night when you were struggling. I'm so glad PB was around to give you some great advice. I find him so helpful as he just says it how it is. I'm glad you got to bed, but sorry it was so late. I think it's great you've identified your compulsions as that's going to help you in the future.

I really hope you're feeling a lot better today and you've been able to distract yourself from ruminating etc. 

Thinking of you. X

[BelAnna]

Thanks so much Emsie! 

I'm trying to get things back under control today. I am having thoughts about whether there might be an outbreak of Norovirus in our town at the moment and about whether it is safe for my family members to go to the supermarket or whether they will pick up the virus from other shoppers (e.g. if their hands are contaminated and they use the checkouts etc). but I know that I am blowing the risk up in my mind and that things might be fine!

It does feel silly to be so concerned about a sickness bug when a lot of OCD focuses on more serious things but for me (and all emetophobes) vomiting is terrifying. 

I just replied to your thread, I hope you are ok! x

Edited August 23, 2017 by BelAnna

[Emsie]

3 hours ago, BelAnna said:

Thanks so much Emsie! 

I'm trying to get things back under control today. I am having thoughts about whether there might be an outbreak of Norovirus in our town at the moment and about whether it is safe for my family members to go to the supermarket or whether they will pick up the virus from other shoppers (e.g. if their hands are contaminated and they use the checkouts etc). but I know that I am blowing the risk up in my mind and that things might be fine!

It does feel silly to be so concerned about a sickness bug when a lot of OCD focuses on more serious things but for me (and all emetophobes) vomiting is terrifying. 

I just replied to your thread, I hope you are ok! x

Hi BelAnna,

I'm really glad you are trying to get things back under control today. The OCD is really blowing it all out of proportion. I know that's so easy for me to say because we all have different fears. I guess it's easy for me to see that because it's not my theme. It's almost like when it's not our theme we can think like a non-OCD sufferer. 

We cannot help what our fears are, but we can learn to think differently and respond differently to them. I have real hope of that. I hope it for you too. 

I hope you're are ok this evening and that you have a good trip tomorrow. X

[BelAnna]

Aw thank you so much Emsie, you've helped me loads in the last week! Hope you're ok now xx

 

[legalseagull]

I know what you mean Belanna about still being terrified of sickness. I've also had CBT for OCD and emet together and then emet on it's own but it's only taken a tiny edge off the fear.

Last time I got help I was told it was 'too difficult' to do anything with. I'm not letting that put me off tho, I have a phone assessment tomorrow for more CBT. 

[Angst]

Hi Belanna. Hope that things are calmer now. Some of your posts remind me of Daniel Defoe's Journal of the Plague Year with the visceral fear of contagion. Houses were boarded up to ensure no escape of the disease. But just about everybody was doing it in the plague year.

I like your list of your compulsions in one of you posts. But it's strange -you are like me - you find it easier to conduct an analytical survey of actions rather than implement a plan to stop them. I think it is a matter of intellect over fear - discounting the fear as being a severe overestimate of risk and your analytical brain forcing this through. It is not easy, as once triggered, the visceral fear overwhelms us. I find taking medication helps, as it dampens the emotions and facilitates the implementation of rational plans.