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Here we go again! This is exhausting.


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So after a really productive session with my therapist where i did really well in resisting my compulsions for 30hrs ans facing the fear a little and a lovely few days away with my partner and my little boy I'm once again overcome with thoughts. The new one is ridiculous but can't get it out of my head. I took my little one to see paw patrol in Leeds last Wednesday, a guy was sat behind us with his kids and wife. Something scuffed past my back which I know was probably his little boys shoes as when I turned around he was now sitting on his dad's knee instead of in the seat next to him. Anyway my mind has now decided someone has jabbed me with a needle even though it wasn't a sharp pain more of a nudge. There was no pain afterwards, no marks that I notice now but it has been almost a week. When will this ever end?? One step forward and two back all the time. Wish I could just turn my thoughts off entirely!

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You have to identify the compulsions you are doing and work to stop them. Probably your biggest is ruminating but could also include Googling and reassurance seeking. Those compulsions are what are keeping the thoughts alive.

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Googling is a major compulsion of mine. This is the one I managed to resist and it felt so good knowing I'd not done it that long. I was really proud of myself but it's as if it always finds something else to throw at me. I know the latest worry is stupid cos of course I'd know if it had happened but the what ifs are in full swing at the minute. 

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Since it popped into my head a few hours ago it's there pretty much constantly. I have gotten my son ready for bed, washed up and sorted around the house all on auto pilot as this is in the forefront of my mind. Can you give me any tips on how to stop ruminating?

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I'm going to check it out now. Thank you for your help. I don't really have anyone who I can talk to, my family don't really understand the condition at all just keep telling me to stop thinking about things and calm down. Easier said than done! 

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