Why is ocd so awful???

[Em00]

Sorry for so much posting today, not having a great time. Just wanting to get a bit off my chest. I hate the way ocd is so insidious and like a weed that just strangles round everything. It's the most terrifying subjects and not just one, so many. I hate it!!! Just this week my head has decided to pop up with a new obsession. Why does it do that? I want a break! 

(I am currently waiting on therapy, I'm not sure if ranting is ok on here cos I know it's recovery focussed, so sorry if this isn't ok. Just want to scream out loud!) 

[Miranda123]

If it wasn't awful it wouldn't be a problem! But we are stronger than a bully just looking for attention. We all know too well how debilitating it is but we can't give up! I had terrible, disgusting harm thoughts about all of my loved ones for months, I felt like I couldn't go on and I'd never feel myself again. But I did and still do other than the odd setback (that I'm currently having)

It's great that you're getting therapy and hope you feel a little better for getting it off your chest ?

[mikos]

Miranda123-

May I ask how you were able to handle the harm thoughts you had about your loved ones?  I'm having a particularly nasty bout with them right now.  What makes matters worse is that I like to work on cars and some of the tools that I use have become intensely feared objects.  Thanks....  

[Rucker]

You're right it is awful... but recognising you have OCD (and the damage it does) in the first place is the first step to fighting back.  Try and do the things that relax you the mose while you're waiting

 

[Em00]

Thank you for the replies folks. 

[FightingTheBrain]

10 hours ago, mikos said:

Miranda123-

May I ask how you were able to handle the harm thoughts you had about your loved ones?  I'm having a particularly nasty bout with them right now.  What makes matters worse is that I like to work on cars and some of the tools that I use have become intensely feared objects.  Thanks....  

Confront them. Don’t try and avoid them, take them on and look at the thoughts, repeat them over and over because they’re literally just a thought.

my therapist said to me ‘I hope you go home and your girlfriend leaves you and she’s been cheating on you’. He said he could say that because it’s meaningless, he knows it means nothing.

[Miranda123]

12 hours ago, mikos said:

Miranda123-

May I ask how you were able to handle the harm thoughts you had about your loved ones?  I'm having a particularly nasty bout with them right now.  What makes matters worse is that I like to work on cars and some of the tools that I use have become intensely feared objects.  Thanks....  

First accept that they are just thoughts and mean nothing nor do they say anything about you as a person. It's not the thoughts that are the problem it is how you react to them, for example, even since I've been recovered from those types of thoughts they pop into my head every now and again for no reason, but i attach no meaning whatsoever to them so they never hang around anymore, as what happens with everybody even without OCD.

I've had thoughts about stabbing loved ones, running them over, strangling, punching the list goes on... sometime even random people on the street and even myself sometimes if i ever stood near a balcony or anything like that.

Mainly exposure really kicked it for me, i'd use knives around people on purpose and i never stopped driving my car even though i felt like i would run people over on the path every time i drove. I sat and let the thoughts whizz round my head with no break, stood in public places and let the thoughts do their thing. It's the hardest thing i have ever done but my god it works. It's the only way out unfortunately. I felt disgusting and that maybe i really was just a psychopath, but the thoughts lessened and my anxiety went down, the fear gradually went down and i was able to carry on like normal with a few setbacks along the way. I also feel like i can talk about it more openly now.