Looking for advice- relationship with partner since diagnosis

[Irregular86]

Hi

So I'm kinda just wondering if anyone else who suffers from contamination OCD and in particular HIV OCD struggles with the physical side of their relationship. Me & my partner both tested negative but I can't get rid of the thought that maybe I have contracted it somehow and I could pass it on as mentioned in previous posts. 

Since this all started again early July we have slept together once when we were both drunk. It's really starting to affect our relationship as we both want to but I sway between not daring to sleep together in case it brings the thoughts back as bad as they were as I have improved a fair bit over last few weeks. And not sleeping together in case I by some minute chance do have something and pass it on. Even though I know I don't. Sorry I'm rambling just wondered if anyone had experienced anything similar and could maybe give me some advice

Thanks ?

[PolarBear]

Look, if you want to be intimate, then be intimate. What you have to do though is put a lid on your compulsions. No going to the doctor. No tests. Curb your ruminating. No googling. It's those compulsions that keep the OCD lie going.

[Irregular86]

Guess it's just gonna have to be one of those where I bite the bullet and just deal with the thoughts as and when they come afterwards. Maybe treat it like ERP and hopefully the more i expose myself the less it becomes a problem.
Thanks for your advice.