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The Role of Stress in Mental Ill-Health


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Hello Friends

As I've alluded to previously, life has been particularly challenging of late.

I had allowed a situation in my personal life to spiral unchecked. I had ignored the emotional red flags and ultimately suffered what might non-medically be described as a nervous breakdown. There's a lesson here. Irrespective of what society expects, and no matter how much pressure we might be under to the contrary, if circumstances arise for which we are not mentally equipped, we MUST walk away. To hell with what anyone else will think of us. I persevered because it was the 'done thing', and as a consequence I made myself very poorly.

Learn to say no to anything and everyone if you're not feeling robust. Self-preservation is an art. And not something we should ever be ashamed of prioritising.

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Stress is bad for everyone, no matter if they have more serious issues.  But it is crushing when someone does.

I found myself in a bad situation in my last job, I won't go into  details but it was a health and safety issue / what was pretty much institutional bullying.  The problem was it went on for about 8 years.  Looking back I should have just walked away and quit but I and my family are not well off and financially it was tricky to do so and my partner at that time  was set against it - she'd rather I had that job over a lower paid one regardless of the grief I was getting.  I had to stick it and try and get another but couldn't find aother job.   I eventually left to do a full time MA and try and career change, but I'm finding no employer really cares what I've done academically (societal problem) and that's out of my hands, but it is stressful too.  Hasn't been a good decade.

I think long term chronic stress is far worse, for me anyway.  I'm not overly stressed out by short term stresses that come and go but the chronic type like I described above that go on for so long can really do some damage if you're low anyway.

I think I was at breaking point too.

No matter what happens now into the future I won't get into a situation where I can't put my health and sanity as a priority.  It really wasn't worth it.

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I think those are wise words OceanDweller, I had underestimated how life can effect us, I have had a pretty rough time recently with deaths of both parents and other life changing events thrown into the mix such as a failed business etc.

Stupidly I didn't see or heed the warning signs. I should have tried to get help sooner but did not and ended up I would say on the brink of a nervous breakdown am not sure if I had one or not but I was crying my eyes out to the doctor saying I couldn't cope which was starting a new job and realising I hated it and was in no way mentally able to cope with the stresses it brought. I even ended up crying on the phone to the Samaritans at one point. 

I should have taken a different route, not tried to think I was able to handle it. I am in a better place now, not perfect but better than say 12 months ago.

I think I am more aware of my limits now which has helped and I think (or at least hope) I can recognise the warning signs.

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I believe half the problem is the stigma that is attached to mental health and the ideals that society places on us as husbands/wives, fathers/mothers and the roles in which each of those brings.

Not adhering to such, or stepping out of those roles can see us shamed in such a way it can prevent us from accepting that we may indeed need help. Being able to recognise this is something that we should all be proud of not ashamed. Recognising and seeking help is perhaps one of the biggest things we may have to do but at the same time will make us stronger as people. We must be kind to ourselves as only we know how debilitating stress/mental health can be

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