Is it...

[Em00]

An achievement if you do something you normally avoid due to it making you anxious, only to ruminate about it all week? 

I'm waiting for some cbt for hyperresponsibility and while I'm waiting the cmht want me to challenge myself with some of my contamination stuff as I've had cbt for that before. Finding it difficult trying to do exposure as my thinking is so fixed. I've lost track of what to feel proud of when everything feels so crummy. 

[lostinme]

Hi Em00, 

I think I'm reading this correctly, what you are saying is you did something that you normally avoid doing because it causes you to much anxiety? If yes that's a great first step and definitely an achievement, so be proud of yourself  ruminating is another compulsion, but don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't do one compulsion so that's great ? It's best to work on one compulsion before tackling another. 

When first doing erp we work on avoiding doing our compulsions, one step at a time, usually starting with the least anxiety provoking ones first. Once you become comfortable with avoiding this compulsion you move onto your next one, working up your heirachy. It doesn't happen over night it's a slow process and takes time and practice. 

So regarding what you posted, you did something you would normally avoid doing,  so you didn't do the compulsion, So that's great ? So if you chose to work on this one first, take it slowly maybe once a day, a couple of times a week depending on what it is,  until you feel comfortable with it and then move onto the next one. This could probably take several weeks it's an individual thing it differs from person to person. 

Hope this helps you, lost. 

[Em00]

Thank you for your reply! 

Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Just feels infuriating that there are layers of compulsions! 

Because I'm doing it on my own, without a therapist, I haven't really been doing it in a set way, just trying to challenge little things as they come up. Maybe I should try and be more systematic. 

[lostinme]

3 minutes ago, Em00 said:

Thank you for your reply! 

Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Just feels infuriating that there are layers of compulsions! 

Because I'm doing it on my own, without a therapist, I haven't really been doing it in a set way, just trying to challenge little things as they come up. Maybe I should try and be more systematic. 

Unfortunately there can be many layers of compulsions! 

It's great how your challenging yourself before therapy

 I don't think there is any set way to challenge yourself regarding your compulsions, I think its a personal choice only one you can make. It just seems easier tackling your least anxiety provoking ones before doing the worst anxiety provoking ones. But you must remember the cognitive side of cbt is just as important as the behavioural side

 

[Em00]

I'm only trying to do it because they asked me to,  as there won't be enough time in therapy to cover all my obsessions...