Stopping Ruminating

[taurean]

Ruminating is a common compulsion and plays into the hands of OCD because it keeps us connected to, believing, the falsehood or exaggeration behind the fear or revulsion within our unwanted intrusive thoughts. 

We need to wean ourselves away from ruminating - like worry, it involves endless searching for solutions that can not be found. 

But when we gradually reduce our ruminating, so the power of the compulsive urge to ruminate will reduce. 

When you notice that you are ruminating, stop and refocus away to something else enjoyable beneficial and distracting. Leave your OCD intrusion alone - it won't have any real value, though you won't see it that way at first. 

If you struggle to break that ruminating habit, make an appointment with yourself to ruminate later - then over time make sure you manage not to keep the appointments

Rumination is pointless, solves nothing, and only strengthens our connection with the worthless nonsense that makes up our - erroneous - OCD core belief. 

Edited October 1, 2017 by taurean

[Emsie]

A great post Roy, thank you as ever.

Ruminating for me is the hardest compulsion to resist, even though I know it only serves to cement a fear and make the fear worse as the ruminating progresses.

Mornings are my danger point and the hardest time for me to resist ruminating so I need to use the 'making an appointment' technique and then forget the appointment. 

Best wishes to you Roy. 

Em ?

[lostinme]

Great post Roy, as always 

I use to ruminate 24/7, it was one of my worst compulsions. But this is something I've managed to conquer, but every now and again I will catch myself going to ruminate and I will nip it in the bud immediately. 

Its achievable Emsie, it just takes practice

[Emsie]

Thank you Lost, I need to really focus on this one. ? X

[lostinme]

You can do it Emsie  every time you realise your doing it, just think I'm not going there, I'm not doing this right now and refocus your attention to the task in hand and what you are doing. It doesn't happen over night and it takes practice and at times you won't even realise your doing it, but each time you do refocus away again. At times you will manage to do it and at other times you might not, but don't worry at these times you will begin to see the pattern for yourself that this is a useless task because you will never get the answers or the certainty you are looking for. At these times you don't manage to do it, it will actually teach you and help you see that it is pointless and it just causes you unnecessary distress. Eventually you will learn from this and start to learn to live with the uncertainty and doubt of never knowing. 

Hope this helps you 

best wishes lost x

[taurean]

 lost. 

Ruminating is an unhelpful learned response to an OCD-driven urge. 

When we break that pattern, and lay down a new habit with helpful and beneficial response, the urge to ruminate will begin to fade away. 

 

 

[Avo]

Rumination is my biggest compulsion, I have been doing it too much today over a random intrusive thought about something, its so hard to resist when you have been thinking like this for years. 

I will try and use this technique. Thanks for posting it Taurean. 

[Emsie]

7 hours ago, lostinme said:

You can do it Emsie  every time you realise your doing it, just think I'm not going there, I'm not doing this right now and refocus your attention to the task in hand and what you are doing. It doesn't happen over night and it takes practice and at times you won't even realise your doing it, but each time you do refocus away again. At times you will manage to do it and at other times you might not, but don't worry at these times you will begin to see the pattern for yourself that this is a useless task because you will never get the answers or the certainty you are looking for. At these times you don't manage to do it, it will actually teach you and help you see that it is pointless and it just causes you unnecessary distress. Eventually you will learn from this and start to learn to live with the uncertainty and doubt of never knowing. 

Hope this helps you 

best wishes lost x

Thank you so much for this Lost, it's a massive help. It will help me so much. You are so kind to explain this all to me. Thank you so much lovely lady! 

Best wishes to you,

Em x ?

Edited October 2, 2017 by Emsie

[lostinme]

Your more than welcome Emsie  I've had OCD for more than 40 years now and ruminating was a daily compulsion, it would start first thing in the morning to the last thing at night, I awoke with it and I slept with it. It was with me every second of every day, back tracking everything I did, to every move I made,  looping constantly over and over again and still never getting the answers and certainty I was looking for. It was constant torture. I am so happy that this is one of the compulsions I have managed to conquer. You can do this too, I believe every one can, positive mind set, believe in yourself, have faith and courage, determination, perseverance, commitment and repetition. Don't worry if you have setbacks, just pick yourself up and start again. I believe by having set backs it actually teaches you just how pointless this really is. 

You can do this I believe you all can 

Im right behind you cheering you on x

[lostinme]

3 hours ago, Avo said:

Rumination is my biggest compulsion, I have been doing it too much today over a random intrusive thought about something, its so hard to resist when you have been thinking like this for years. 

I will try and use this technique. Thanks for posting it Taurean. 

Avo, this was one of my biggest compulsions also 

Read what I've wrote to Emsie and hopefully this will help you too 

You can do this 

[Sodovka]

17 minutes ago, lostinme said:

Your more than welcome Emsie  I've had OCD for more than 40 years now and ruminating was a daily compulsion, it would start first thing in the morning to the last thing at night, I awoke with it and I slept with it. It was with me every second of every day, back tracking everything I did, to every move I made,  looping constantly over and over again and still never getting the answers and certainty I was looking for. It was constant torture. I am so happy that this is one of the compulsions I have managed to conquer. You can do this too, I believe every one can, positive mind set, believe in yourself, have faith and courage, determination, perseverance, commitment and repetition. Don't worry if you have setbacks, just pick yourself up and start again. I believe by having set backs it actually teaches you just how pointless this really is. 

You can do this I believe you all can 

Im right behind you cheering you on x

Thanks for your post, and Taurean's that started this off. As someone who's had OCD for 20+ years, it's wonderful to (virtually) meet other survivors like you. Rumination is my biggest issue, but I'm finding it hard to distinguish between what's healthy in accepting my intrusive thoughts and falling into rumination. Working with a new therapist, so hope he can help me on this too, but any advice would be welcome!

[Avo]

Hi Lost,

Thank you, I have read what you wrote to Emsie. I am so used to ruminating not had OCD as long as you but I reckon about 18 to 20 years or so. A thought popped into my head today and I panicked and started to try and debate with it and go over a scenario in my mind, something about an event in a few days.

Before I knew it I had wasted several minutes on this topic. I knew logically this was the worst thing I could do but was not entirely sure how to go about stopping it. This in turn made me stressed and the scenario catastrophized in my mind. 

Eventually I think I got distracted and forgot for a while, but I know ideally I can't rely on distraction as a solution, dealing with it myself is the way forward. I am going to try this from now on, fingers crossed with practise I can perfect it.

Thank you for your support on this, it's much appreciated. 

[Emsie]

42 minutes ago, lostinme said:

Your more than welcome Emsie  I've had OCD for more than 40 years now and ruminating was a daily compulsion, it would start first thing in the morning to the last thing at night, I awoke with it and I slept with it. It was with me every second of every day, back tracking everything I did, to every move I made,  looping constantly over and over again and still never getting the answers and certainty I was looking for. It was constant torture. I am so happy that this is one of the compulsions I have managed to conquer. You can do this too, I believe every one can, positive mind set, believe in yourself, have faith and courage, determination, perseverance, commitment and repetition. Don't worry if you have setbacks, just pick yourself up and start again. I believe by having set backs it actually teaches you just how pointless this really is. 

You can do this I believe you all can 

Im right behind you cheering you on x

Wow Lost, I'm so so happy for you too that this is a compulsion that you've conquered, it's such an incredible achievement. You must be so proud and feel so free from it. Words fail me to describe how amazing your achievement is. It's such a huge thing to conquer. Thank you so much for sharing your story as its so inspiring for me and others. 

I've had OCD for just over 20 years and rumination is my major compulsion and it leads to other compulsions. Thank you for all of your kind words, I believe I can do it too and your advice, inspiring story and you cheering us on is a major part of that. Bless you, Lost. 

X ?

Edited October 2, 2017 by Emsie

[lostinme]

2 hours ago, Sodovka said:

Thanks for your post, and Taurean's that started this off. As someone who's had OCD for 20+ years, it's wonderful to (virtually) meet other survivors like you. Rumination is my biggest issue, but I'm finding it hard to distinguish between what's healthy in accepting my intrusive thoughts and falling into rumination. Working with a new therapist, so hope he can help me on this too, but any advice would be welcome!

Hi Sodovka, I'm not sure I'm understanding what it is you are trying to say here or ask? 

I will try to explain the best way I can, the intrusive thought is something we all get, even non sufferers, it how we act to them that is the problem. I will try to explain. 

Eg:1

I put a pin down somewhere whilst sewing, maybe half an hour later i go for it but it's not there. I look for it to see if it's dropped on the floor, whilst looking for it i get an intrusive thought, you've swallowed it your going to die. I then go into sheer panic mode and anxiety sky high, I'm going to die, my daughter will be motherless, what will happen to her, who will look after her so by this time I'm over catastrophising the situation in my mind. At the same time I'm also looking frantically every where for the pin trying to find it, going over and over in my mind every movement, what I did after putting the pin down, I will then ruminate over it, over and over again, for hours but never find the answer to what happened to the pin. This is the unhealthy way to accepting the intrusive thought. 

Eg:2

I put a pin down somewhere whilst sewing, maybe half an hour later I go for it but it's not there. I look for it to see if it's fell on the floor, whilst looking for it I get an intrusive thought, you've swallowed it your going to die. I acknowledge the thought as an OCD thought and adapt a so what attitude, maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Then I continue to look briefly to see if I can see it and get on with what it is I'm doing. No over castrophising, no ruminating because I've accepted the doubt of never knowing and let the thought go. This is the healthier way of accepting an intrusive thought or even better seeing it for the nonesense it truly is. 

Hope this makes sense and helps you a little 

Best wishes, lost 

 

[lostinme]

2 hours ago, Avo said:

Hi Lost,

Thank you, I have read what you wrote to Emsie. I am so used to ruminating not had OCD as long as you but I reckon about 18 to 20 years or so. A thought popped into my head today and I panicked and started to try and debate with it and go over a scenario in my mind, something about an event in a few days.

Before I knew it I had wasted several minutes on this topic. I knew logically this was the worst thing I could do but was not entirely sure how to go about stopping it. This in turn made me stressed and the scenario catastrophized in my mind. 

Eventually I think I got distracted and forgot for a while, but I know ideally I can't rely on distraction as a solution, dealing with it myself is the way forward. I am going to try this from now on, fingers crossed with practise I can perfect it.

Thank you for your support on this, it's much appreciated. 

Fingers crossed Avo, it takes practice but it is achievable you can do this 

[lostinme]

2 hours ago, Emsie said:

Wow Lost, I'm so so happy for you too that this is a compulsion that you've conquered, it's such an incredible achievement. You must be so proud and feel so free from it. Words fail me to describe how amazing your achievement is. It's such a huge thing to conquer. Thank you so much for sharing your story as its so inspiring for me and others. 

I've had OCD for just over 20 years and rumination is my major compulsion and it leads to other compulsions. Thank you for all of your kind words, I believe I can do it too and your advice, inspiring story and you cheering us on is a major part of that. Bless you, Lost. 

X ?

Oh bless you Emsie, you are such a sweet lady, the way you compliment me I'm starting to feel like Wonder Woman 

Ive got every faith you can achieve this, just have faith in yourself Emsie x

[Sodovka]

37 minutes ago, lostinme said:

Hi Sodovka, I'm not sure I'm understanding what it is you are trying to say here or ask? 

I will try to explain the best way I can, the intrusive thought is something we all get, even non sufferers, it how we act to them that is the problem. I will try to explain. 

Eg:1

I put a pin down somewhere whilst sewing, maybe half an hour later i go for it but it's not there. I look for it to see if it's dropped on the floor, whilst looking for it i get an intrusive thought, you've swallowed it your going to die. I then go into sheer panic mode and anxiety sky high, I'm going to die, my daughter will be motherless, what will happen to her, who will look after her so by this time I'm over catastrophising the situation in my mind. At the same time I'm also looking frantically every where for the pin trying to find it, going over and over in my mind every movement, what I did after putting the pin down, I will then ruminate over it, over and over again, for hours but never find the answer to what happened to the pin. This is the unhealthy way to accepting the intrusive thought. 

Eg:2

I put a pin down somewhere whilst sewing, maybe half an hour later I go for it but it's not there. I look for it to see if it's fell on the floor, whilst looking for it I get an intrusive thought, you've swallowed it your going to die. I acknowledge the thought as an OCD thought and adapt a so what attitude, maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Then I continue to look briefly to see if I can see it and get on with what it is I'm doing. No over castrophising, no ruminating because I've accepted the doubt of never knowing and let the thought go. This is the healthier way of accepting an intrusive thought or even better seeing it for the nonesense it truly is. 

Hope this makes sense and helps you a little 

Best wishes, lost 

 

Thanks for your thoughtful response, lostinme. I probably wasn't clear in my question. My problem is how to handle intrusive thoughts in the "right" way. Some therapists encourage sufferers to expose ourselves to the fear by imagining it even worse than the OCD does. For example, you'd say "I probably did swallow the pin and I'm about to die right now!" to shock the OCD into submission. Some therapists might encourage a gentler approach like telling yourself "could be" or "that might happen" before returning to your life. I struggle because I get into getting the perfect response. I'm seeing now what the problem may be...

[Emsie]

11 hours ago, lostinme said:

Oh bless you Emsie, you are such a sweet lady, the way you compliment me I'm starting to feel like Wonder Woman 

Ive got every faith you can achieve this, just have faith in yourself Emsie x

Thank you, Lost. I'm going to really try. ?

[taurean]

Remember Emsie. 

Your brain is sending you a message to respond to an irrational worthless negative OCD core belief with a learned behaviour (ruminating)  that wastes time, cannot determine a solution, and causes distress. 

So well worth the effort. 

You can do this, and so can other ruminators 

Edited October 3, 2017 by taurean

[Emsie]

2 hours ago, taurean said:

Remember Emsie. 

Your brain is sending you a message to respond to an irrational worthless negative OCD core belief with a learned behaviour (ruminating)  that wastes time, cannot determine a solution, and causes distress. 

So well worth the effort. 

You can do this, and so can other ruminators 

That's so helpful Roy, thank you so much. It's so good to have these reminders.

I've not done it today (so far) so I'm really pleased. Had a couple of triggers but said to myself 'I'm not doing that right now'. ?

[lostinme]

18 hours ago, Sodovka said:

Thanks for your thoughtful response, lostinme. I probably wasn't clear in my question. My problem is how to handle intrusive thoughts in the "right" way. Some therapists encourage sufferers to expose ourselves to the fear by imagining it even worse than the OCD does. For example, you'd say "I probably did swallow the pin and I'm about to die right now!" to shock the OCD into submission. Some therapists might encourage a gentler approach like telling yourself "could be" or "that might happen" before returning to your life. I struggle because I get into getting the perfect response. I'm seeing now what the problem may be...

Your welcome, just hope it helps you 

[lostinme]

1 hour ago, Emsie said:

That's so helpful Roy, thank you so much. It's so good to have these reminders.

I've not done it today (so far) so I'm really pleased. Had a couple of triggers but said to myself 'I'm not doing that right now'. ?

Well done Emsie, that's great ? keep going you can do this x 

[Emsie]

Thank you so much Lost for cheering me on. ? X