Paroxetine

[Melanie]

Hi there

I haven’t been posting in a while because, frankly, I have been doing great lately. That is exactly why I am considering going off meds. I have been taking Paroxetine aka Seroxat aka Paxil 20 Mg for almost 11 years now, mainly for anxiety, obsessive worrying and depression. I had suffered two major depressive episodes before my GP prescribed the meds. I chose not to read the info. I was in a position that my anxiety could have a major influence on my  professional career. Although I had always been against ‘Happiness Pills’... I decided to start popping the pills. I hadn’t read about the side effects, so i assumed that the intense panic attacks were part of the illness, not the drug... I slowly got better... it took me six months to shake off the deepest anxiety and depression. I thanked God for the meds and took up my life again... in my mind the idea that the pills would prevent me getting in such a bad place as I had been slowly grew... everytime I thought about quiting, I almost immediately decided not to... Hey, why change a winning team.... eight years later, 2013... bang!!!! Depression was back with a vengeance. I went to see a therapist, who turned out to be a lovely, caring person... I probably owe her my life.... The GP put me on a higher dose. I was sceptical, but decided to take the higher dose. I was at the end of my wits and would have done anything to sooth the devastating pain inside. But in the mean time I had read about Paroxetine... about the side effects... I wanted to know if there were any health risks involved in long time use of the drug etc.... after the first 30mg pill, I knew immediately that I wouldn’t do that twice. My anxiety was immense. My heart went crazy and frankly... I almost did too. At 7 am I called my GP. I as in a horrible state. I hadn’t sleept at all. One panic attack followed the order. He actually ordered me to take a xanax immediately. I did and spent the rest of the day in a state between sleep and being awake. I have been overthinking many aspects of the meds over the years.... these were my conclusions

- it took me six months to recover with the meds... before the meds, It took me 6 months as well.

- the depression reoccured after eight years... without meds... every three years...one could say that the meds did that or one could say that the thought of taking the meds created a placebo effect.

- I have come to understand that I really do suffer from side effects. But I never blamed the meds because I had never had the courage to look them up. E.g night sweats, nightmares, hypnagogia, being hyper active, difficulties to concentrate and forgetfullness etc... 

- I do not experience any benefits from the drug anymore, but I do have withdrawal symptoms when I forget a dose. Head zaps (especially when I turn my eyes or my head), agitation, elevated heart rate, easily startled, .....

in short: let’s stop taking this.... I wish it were that easy. The truth is: i’ m scared. I read many articles on how difficult it is to quit. About all the horrible withdrawal symptoms .I am afraid that by disturbing the balance in my brain, I Will cause some sort of permanent damage mentally or physically. On the other hand... I don’t want to be on meds forever. Is this who I really am or is this me just because the pills make me like this? Have I done things which I wouldn’t have done without the meds (they take away your inhibitions to a certain extent).

anyway: i’m very much aware that quitting the meds must be my decision and I definitely need medical assistence in the process. I am just looking for people who understand, who experienced the same and who came off the drug succesfully, without horrifying withdrawal symptoms.

thanks 

[seekingERPnorthwest]

Hi Melanie, I took paroxetine but it made me feel suicidal.  I felt really angry towards the doctors who prescribe it / allow it to be prescribed to patients.  I also felt angry towards the drug company.  The safe way to come off medication is to reduce the dose slowly.  I did not do that - I went cold turkey. I got the side effects you mentioned but I was determined not to take that drug any more.

[Melanie]

I have to admit that I feel angry towards my doctor as well... How long did it take you to shake off the withdrawal symptoms? Are you medecin free now? I’m nog planning on going cold turkey... I’m considering to let the pharmacist make capsules of 19 mg... 18 mg.... etc.... my plan would be to medecin free in two years or so...

thanks for your reply