Not going to therapy until January, but want to try some exposures on my own.

[Ryukil]

My OCD is, unfortunately, very pervasive at the moment, so instead of waiting until January to do anything about it, I want to try and do some exposures on my own. However, I'm worried trying to do ERP on my own will backfire and is not a good idea. Because everyone says you have to have a therapist in order to do any sort of therapy.

Would it be a good idea to just do small exposures until I go to therapy? Not tackle the very big things that I'm worried about, just the small things?

[PolarBear]

You posted nearly the exact same thing a month ago. You were filled with doubt then and you couldn't make up your mind. Seems things haven't changed.

You have it in your headthat you are going to do some irreprable damage if you try some exposures. You're not. Do it or dont do it but do stop dwelling on what to do.

[Ryukil]

Well, I saw some people saying I should not do anything without a therapist. According to Chrissie Hodges, for instance, self-directed ERP is actually detrimental. Therefore, I can't try and help myself by reading a book and not giving into my compulsions to reread a sentence because it feels contaminated because that would be self-directed ERP. I need a therapist.

[Ryukil]

Whatever, I'm just going to wait. I have to. I'll just sit here and watch Netflix in the meantime. 

[ohwhyhello]

19 hours ago, Ryukil said:

Therefore, I can't try and help myself by reading a book and not giving into my compulsions to reread a sentence because it feels contaminated because that would be self-directed ERP. I need a therapist.

So in the interest of getting better, you are going to continue to perform compulsions? That's like saying to lose weight, I'm going to continue to stuff my face in the interest of my health. Stop performing compulsions, it's the only way to recover. 

[Ryukil]

Yes, but I need to wait to have a therapist. Doing ERP on my own is ill-advised.

[Ryukil]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NsR2RmtgIY

Here's the video I'm talking about.

[PolarBear]

Then wait for a therapist if that's what you want to do but stop ruminating over it and coming back here asking about it. Make a decision and move on.

[Ryukil]

Is it a horrible idea to try and fight OCD on my own? Do you have an opinion on this matter? Like, I'm going to save bigger things for therapy, but I would like to tackle some of the smaller obsessions because they're affecting my ability to do the things I want to do.

[PolarBear]

See, youre back to asking about it again, which you've been doing for months.

You also seem to be fixated on ERP, which is just one part of CBT.

[Ryukil]

Well, I do know if I go to the expert I'm considering, the main thrust of his work is ERP. I know this from having read parts of his book and seeing an interview with him on YouTube. In the self-help plan, he writes we should create a hierarchy according to the anxiety caused by each obsession, and then go through it from top to bottom over the course of weeks or months. Very standard stuff, what I would expect from a self-help book.

 

Anyway...do you think it could actually be "detrimental?"

[PolarBear]

No, I don't. As you say, it's pretty standard stuff.

[Ryukil]

Yeah, don't know if you watched any of the video I posted above. She talks like it will backfire horribly and cause severe problems if you do any kind of resisting compulsions without a therapist.

[Franklin12]

People ask all for all sorts of reassurance on the forum. Am I gay? Do I need an HIV test? Is there asbestos in my house? Did I cheat on my boyfriend? The reassurance often comes from someone else taking the responsibility for their decision. For example a therapist may ask a client with contamination fears to drop a piece of fruit on to the floor in a supermarket and then pick it up, buy it, and eat it. Whilst this is intended as an exposure exercise, aiming to raise anxiety, it often can fail because the fact that the therapist has said it’s ok to do it is enough reassurance for the client that everything is ok and there is nothing to fear.

Taking responsibility for our decisions is scary because we don’t want things to turn out badly. We may be people who are very harsh on ourselves if we make mistakes. We may lack confidence and self-esteem. We may live in so much dread of the consequences of making bad decisions that we feel it’s simply too risky to not ask for reassurance.

Your question is no different to any other reassurance question where the person is scared to make a decision in their own. But I can see how it feels different because your obsession is about therapy. So it feels to you that you can’t apply the standard advice about dealing with obsessions because starting therapy is both your obsession, but also what is needed to help with your obsession. 

I think it’s important that you recognise that this is a standard obsession. Therefore the more you ruminate about it, the less likely you are to find an answer. You will never be satisfied by any answer regarding this, no matter how many books you read, you tube videos you watch, experts you email, or people on forums advice that you read. 

Do you recognise that your thoughts about therapy are being driven by your OCD? Does your therapist know that this is a key obsession that you have?