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Compulsions or responsible response? Please help.


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Hi All,

Can you help me work this out please? if I give a bit of background.

I was letting my son watch a film we had pre-recorded for him , this was' Looney Tunes back in action ' and he was watching it while I was busy in the Kitchen putting shopping away.

I kept glancing out to see if it was still ok as he can be quite easily scared and that the film was appropriate for a 5 yr old. It has cartoons mixed with real characters. (I knew with it being cartoon characters it would not be too bad but he can be scared by things you would not expect)

A scene came on that worried me a bit, it involved a scantily clad woman in a couple of skimpy/provocative outfits, the next scene also did.

I panicked as I thought is this appropriate for him to see?, at the same time these scenes I have to be honest I saw the appeal of the woman in these outfits. I asked my son if he wanted to watch something else and he said yes so I turned the film off. 

At 5 it would have gone over his head the thing I am worrying about I am sure, he was mainly just getting bored with this film. 

I have since 'googled' the film to find out it's rating when it was released, and it was classified as a PG, which I know means parental guidance. I am now panicking that I have let my son see something inappropriate of a sexual nature. 

In mitigating circumstances we don't normally leave him alone with TV unless its cbeebies. This morning has been very chaotic, I am suffering with a heavy cold, my wife went to get the shopping this morning, the car broke down at the supermarket. She rang to tell me. (Felt bad I normally get shopping but cos I am not well she swapped with me.)

She was jumped started, came home dropped shopping off and headed to get the battery changed at Halfords. This all before she is due to help her parents out in their shop for a few hours today. 

So I have took my eye off the ball to say the least fielding calls from my wife and sorting the house out while quite honestly feeling quite rotten.. My wife has just called to update me on the battery and I told her about the incident. 

I feel this was a compulsion telling her, I have also been thrown by this whole episode have I been responsible turning this film off for reasons stated or have I or over reacted cos of my OCD and how I saw the woman. ? I am not sure I would have reacted quite the same if the scene had been or a different nature. 

I don't know if its relevant but one of my themes is to do with children though thanks to CBT I am much better than I was. 

Edited by Avo
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I think you should have a think about what you are aiming to achieve with your confessing, checking, ruminating and reassurance seeking. If you decide that these are mostly for your own benefit, in terms of reducing your anxiety, I would suggest you get on with your day, stop all these compulsions, and let the anxiety do it’s thing and die down naturally. 

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This is definitely an OCD problem Avo. You are a good parent and the scene in the film clearly made you feel anxious, either because of your own OCD concerns or because of OCD concerns involving being a responsible parent (you don't need to worry which it was). Chalk up your reactions as compulsions and try to learn from this and apply therapy better in the future :)

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I don't think you need to feel any guilt that you left your son in front of the TV with a cartoon on. Your own OCD intrucive thoughts have caused you to act as you did.

Try not to "confess" to others as this will only add false belief to any intrusive thoughts you may be having.

Try and put this away and get on with your day. Keep strong, Lisa x

 

Edited by Lisa davis
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Hi Avo, I'm sorry you're struggling with this today. I totally agree with the great advice you've had, this is an OCD problem. 

You're a good parent and it was your OCD latching on to the scene in the film. Not feeling well and it being a difficult day with the car breaking down etc would have ramped up the anxiety aswell. 

Don't be hard on yourself, try your very best not to ruminate or do any more compulsions as they will only serve to give false belief to this. The anxiety will pass and without further compulsions you will be able to put this away.  

Just to say, I'm like this a lot around my daughter worrying about certain things, so I really do understand. 

I hope you're feeling a bit better now. 

Take care,

Em 

Edited by Emsie
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Hello Everyone,

Thanks for your responses, I think the combination of finding the woman attractive in these outfits coupled with the fact it dawned on my that it may / may not be suitable for a 5 yr old. If felt this was somehow inappropriate of me. Attraction to a person in a kids film, albeit they were an Adult.

I suspect other parents would not have batted an eyelid even with an attraction element thrown in and may or may not have turned the film off. 

My Son also cut his finger in the garden today and I started to google tetanus. Its not been a good day. With my Man Flu / Car situation making everything more tricky and my resilience to things.

Feel bad as my wife has just got back from work and is now taking my son out as I have not really felt well enough and I think he is getting a bit bored. I don't like not playing my part but I suppose I need to accept when I just need to rest.

Thank you all again for your feedback, it's been appreciated.

Avo

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