Relapse

[Kieran123]

Hi all, the past week or so has been a really tough week to cope with and my intrusive thoughts have came back so strong, is it normal for the thoughts to spike out of nowhere and feel even more real/strong than previous times? I just haven’t been able to let the thoughts pass without questioning and doubting myself, I’ve felt like a horrible sicko and I keep making myself feel sick to my stomach with each thought that appears, it’s mainly Harm, PCD and the fears of going mad and being schizophrenic, I just feel so down after the progress I’ve made since last year and I just really don’t want to go back to the way I was when the anxiety was at its worst that’s my biggest fear, I also keep having this worry that I’m going to turn mad or I’ll be locked away out of the way of my loved ones and society. The thing is i know it’s my OCD but the thoughts are that sickening that I just can’t accept them or let them pass and it’s causing me a insignificant amount of anxiety. I feel like every single thought has came back ten times stronger and I keep wanting to tell my loved ones as the thoughts are making me feel so run down in myself but at the same time I don’t want to be telling them the same thoughts/ worry’s over and over again.

I don’t know whether a few things have contributed to the feeling of a relapse as I’ve recently only 2/3 weeks ago started my new job and most of the time it’s in a fast pace moving environment but when I’ve been in work I haven’t been able to take my mind off these thoughts and they keep getting triggered and it makes me really panicky, I’ve also just had a rough 2 weeks with other things but I won’t go into detail just general life stuff but I’ve felt really down and rough the past 2 weeks. I just really want to know it’s going to be ok but at the moment I feel alone and down and I just feel so disgusted with myself.

Any help would be much appreciated

Edited December 3, 2017 by Kieran123

[PolarBear]

Sounds like typical OCD to me. Nothing more.

You admit that you've been under pressure and feeling run down for weeks. That's a perfect breeding ground for intrusive thoughts. Couple that with reverting to freaking out over the thoughts and doing compulsions means OCD has free reign over you.

Recognize it is OCD. Take care of yourself. Stop freaking out at every absurd thought. And work on stopping your compulsions. Do that and you'll be back on track.