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Relapse but new doubt


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Hello 

Firstly may I apologise for mostly only ever postng when in need and not to offer advice as much as I believe I should.

My biggest theme is the awful torture of the groinal response or false attraction, or at least I hope it is.

This is my biggest stumbling block to get over. Can anyone tell me if false attraction is more or less the same sensation as the groinal response. 

Basically my girlfriends daughter is very pretty she is very young only 12 year old. I commented on how much she changed over the last year and said she has very pretty features but my mind has gone into overdrive now. Calling me a "P" for noticing and has me mentally testing. I feel terrible. I always start to feel bad around Xmas and believe I'm a bad person and don' deserve to enjoy it.

Please any advice would give me a lift. 

Thanks and I wish you all peace of mind.

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There is nothing wrong with thinking a child is pretty, funny, intelligent and enjoyable to be around etc. In my opinion.

My nieces are adorable and I've had intrusive thoughts about them but ultimately I know the thoughts are nothing to do with the real me, my nature or intent.

The so-called groinal response has nothing to do with arousal. It's more about the WORRY of being aroused. 

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This is just ordinary OCD goings on. There is nothing unusual about what you are going through. You made an innocent comment. OCD latched onto that and blew its importance all out of proportion, making it appear that innocent comment was a huge deal. You bought into that, freaked out, and started doing compulsions, notably ruminating. That just kept the matter alive, where it bothered you even more. And round and round you went.

OCD lied to you when it said this is a big deal. It's not. It's so minor it deserved to be forgotten the second you said it. Stop letting OCD make a big deal out of nothing. Figure out what your compulsions are and work very hard to stop doing them. No more mind debates about this. No more analyzing what you said and what it might have meant and what it says about you as a person. That's all ruminating, it's a compulsion and it's only keeping you stuck.

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