Jump to content

What stupid things have therapists said to you..


Recommended Posts

I am off up north early next week to sit in on a therapist training day (subject to snow and running trains), and I think I may have a moment to say a few words, so I thought it might be helpful (for them) to mention some of the silly things therapists have said to me over the years, and why they are silly things.

So I wondered if anybody wanted to add what they felt was silly, and why (brief, i.e. one liners) and if suitable I can add to the list too.

  • You have to learn to live with OCD
  • I don't believe in putting hand in toilets (for my contamination OCD)
  • Just stop having those thoughts.

I don't need to tell you why they were all silly suggestions/comments from therapists.  Any more?

 

Link to comment

Hi Ashley

A cognitive therapist once asked me what I wanted out of our sessions. I replied that I wanted to feel safe and not anxious every minute of every day. To which she replied ‘do you really think that’s realistic?’. That careless remark wounded me at a time when I was incredibly low. I hope she’s no longer practising. Or, better still, in therapy herself and being treated by someone equally as incompetent.

Must learn to let go of those grudges..!

Link to comment

I think one of the worst things one of my therapists said to me regarding my OCD behaviours and compulsions was, 

Why don’t you just stop it. 

Dont they think that if you could you would.

If it was just as simple as just stop. 

 

Link to comment

My first therapist said "I want you to spend the next two weeks  exposing yourself as often as possible to violent films, unpleasant news stories, violent themed adverts - all top triggers for my harm OCD". 

 

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Ashley said:

Just stop having those thoughts

during one of many interviews for help during my period of OCD that centred around my husband sexually abusing my children, I was given terrible advice by the mental health nurse running the session. Quite simply, she suggested that, if I was so anxious about my NEWBORN baby and 4 year old being harmed by my husband, I should not allow him to be alone with them and that I should do the majority of the child care. She also questioned why he wanted alone time without me, with the children, which she thought was odd. At that time I was exhausted, terrified but luckily, not daft enough to think this was good advice. In fact it was probably the worst advice she could have given me. I mention it because it is the less well trained staff that you see the most when you are being interviewed/waiting for therapy. I think awareness of OCD symptoms and the correct response should include anyone in the mental health service that will come into contact with potential service users. She was well meaning which was the worst bit.

Link to comment

“Every time you have those worrying thoughts about your children, look around you and count windows on buildings or whatever you can see to distract yourself.” 

errrrr...I never went back to her! 

“I worry about my kids too, but if they’re not back home on time I can just use my logical side rather than running away with it in my mind.” 

Good for you missus, wish my mind was just like yours!! 

Both comments were from the same therapist, she was actually very dismissive in her manner and I felt uncomfortable and as though she didn’t understand my problem from the get go! When I was referred again last year the CPN who did an initial assessment asked me had I seen anyone before and when I said yes and told her who it was, she was like, wow she’s one of the best! Hmmmm!! 

Link to comment

How long have you got?!!!

"Telling my patients they have OCD is usually sufficient to cure them" (BUPA Therapist)

(IAPT) "Have a bubble bath and treat yourself to a coffee or bar of chocolate"

Therapist (IAPT)getting confrontational when I shared my own (dare I say, more informed) knowledge of OCD

Therapist (IAPT) angry because I didn't share her view that imagining myself on a stage acting out a positive scenario to myself (in the audience) would resolve my OCD

Extremely (otherwise good) GP thinking that OCD related to washing, cleaning or checking doors, locks etc

(Clinical Psychologist) Use relaxation tapes

Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!

I would recommend that any therapist should visit this forum and spend at least an hour, at least twice to get a basic understanding of the range, extent and level of distress OCD can cause

Link to comment

After agreeing my contamination OCD was based in anger rather than fear... 'Try punching some cushions instead of doing cleaning rituals.' 

This was when I was sleeping on plastic sheets on the floor, owned no furniture, was using a folded coat as a pillow.  She knew all this, so where was I supposed to get cushions from?

Even if she hadn't been aware of the extreme circumstances I was living in at the time, punching cushions wasn't going to treat my mental contamination OCD. 

Link to comment

Many of the comments I've experienced have already been mentioned so I won't repeat. The below are from psychologists (therapists) and psychiatrists.

"Let's talk about your childhood" - many, many times (actually the emphasis of much "therapy" in the early days.

"You'll end up in prison if you act upon these thoughts". Seriously.

Being asked to leave a session because I challenged his knowledge of OCD politely.

"Do you think you would benefit from a 'rest' in hospital"?

"Psychosurgery is an option" - from a psychiatrist.

"Do you get aroused by these thoughts?" after sobbing in a session.

"It might be better if you avoided contact with your nieces and nephews" - at a time of incredible vulnerability.

et al. I have to go out soon. I'm sure there's more but Ashley might be getting overwhelmed by all the responses OR was expecting a lot!! :clapping:

Best wishes, Phil.

 

 

 

Link to comment

After my first doctors appointment after crying excessively being scared beyond hell of talking about my harm thoughts the doctor just gave me tablets and said 'good luck' 

Link to comment
15 hours ago, taurean said:

My first therapist said "I want you to spend the next two weeks  exposing yourself as often as possible to violent films, unpleasant news stories, violent themed adverts - all top triggers for my harm OCD". 

 

 

 

Is that bad?! Sometimes I do that to myself for exposure?

Link to comment
13 minutes ago, HDC said:

Is that bad?! Sometimes I do that to myself for exposure?

Exposure in a sensible structured way, in sessions rather than total overwhelming is the usual approach. 

What was being proposed for me is called "flooding"  and I, and my subsequently appointed psychiatrist, knew that it would have been totally wrong. 

I remain firmly of the opinion that sessions of exposure, one trigger at a time, are the way forward. 

Personally I prefer using a graded exposure working up from the least threatening trigger. Professor Paul Salkovskis in his OCD-UK webinar took a more flexible stance on that. Nevertheless sessional targeted exposure seems universally to be accepted as the best ERP procedure for OCD. 

Link to comment
29 minutes ago, taurean said:

Exposure in a sensible structured way, in sessions rather than total overwhelming is the usual approach. 

What was being proposed for me is called "flooding"  and I, and my subsequently appointed psychiatrist, knew that it would have been totally wrong. 

I remain firmly of the opinion that sessions of exposure, one trigger at a time, are the way forward. 

Personally I prefer using a graded exposure working up from the least threatening trigger. Professor Paul Salkovskis in his OCD-UK webinar took a more flexible stance on that. Nevertheless sessional targeted exposure seems universally to be accepted as the best ERP procedure for OCD. 

I see, flooding doesn't sound very healthy to be honest! In structured, monitored circumstances I suppose watching a violent film as a form of triggering in order to practice refocusing sounds healthier! 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, HDC said:

I see, flooding doesn't sound very healthy to be honest! In structured, monitored circumstances I suppose watching a violent film as a form of triggering in order to practice refocusing sounds healthier! 

I agree. The subsequent clinical psychologists (3 different ones over a number of years)  agreed. 

They were all amazed that this first therapist - a psychiatrist /clinical psychologist had proposed flooding to a newbie to therapy, not properly aware of the cognitive side at that time  and additionally suffering from constantly-repeating intrusive words in mental chatter. 

From subsequent studies of CBT I have made, I believe flooding may be more suited as a treatment to certain other types of anxiety disorder /phobia.

Link to comment

IAPT - "I'm not qualified to actually treat OCD so what I'm going to do in these sessions is focus on your low self esteem, so let's try and see if we can get you to go out a bit more and that might make you feel better."

Private CBT therapist who advertised on her website that she treats OCD - "when you say intrusive thoughts, don't you mean obtrusive thoughts?"

After describing the content on my obsessions to the same therapist - "I'm unfamiliar with this type of OCD, I mainly treat OCD that is about wanting things really neat such as making sure tins are all lined up correctly".

When said therapist suggested everytime I get an "obtrusive" thought to write out evidence for and against this thought, I told her I get hundreds of thoughts a day and it's just not practical to spend my entire waking hours doing these evidence tables and she said "could you not just try it anyway?"

Needless to say I didn't go back to her!

Link to comment

From a Clinical Psychologist:

1. "Why don't you just stop all of your compulsions?" :rateaux:

2. "I imagine you're really tidy" (the reality: I have a psychiatric disorder, I am not "a bit OCD" and by the way I am the messiest person ever but also very creative but thanks for asking and not assuming).:LiesSign:

3. "That's gobbledeegook" after I described one of my 'magical thinking' OCD thoughts with great embarrassment and distress!:(

From a Counsellor:

1. It's abnormal for OCD to go on for such a long time, normally it's a minor condition

2. If you keep staying in bed until 2pm you'll end up in a hospital, and you know what kind of hospital! (said in a slightly frightened/threatening- "isn't that a terrifying thought" way, knowing that I had been to the ADRU for anxiety disorder treatment BUT clearly completely unaware that people do not get locked away for lying in bed a bit too long nor that I had chosen to go to the ADRU to get over my "minor condition"!!) :WTF:

From a CBT therapist: 

1. It's probably more of a Generalized Anxiety Disorder (yes, yes I'm sure it is- the fact that I've been to a Centre for Excellence in the treatment of OCD and diagnosed with profound OCD (and also seen five psychiatrists, two previous CBT therapists and had Clinical Psychologist sessions for years, who all agreed it's severe OCD!). :please:

From another CBT therapist:

1. "Ok so you have a compulsion to wash your hair because you feel it is contaminated... how about you cut it off/short?" 

 

Edited by BelAnna
Link to comment

It's still worrying that a therapist might take this Freudian view. 

My sister was told by a psychiatrist, back in the 1970s, that her mental issues were down to her upbringing, and how she was treated by her Mum! 

Not the Mum I knew I don't think. And he didn't spot the OCD - a common problem I think with those of us seeking help at that time. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...