lily17 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 (edited) Hi, good evening everyone. Sorry for replying this late. @Caramoole, I’m just trying to breathe and it’s slowly working. I won't say I don’t feel guilty because it’s a lie but as a human being, I need to breathe. @St Mike Edited December 13, 2017 by lily17 Link to comment
lily17 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 Okay I don’t know why I can’t keep typing in the post above. @St Mike that is such a long time you went through this I’m sorry but glad you’re recovered. I have to do it too and I’m afraid I’ll have to accept every thought, feeling, sensation... the guilt is the worst but I have to get through it... Right now I'm not allowing myself to ruminate. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Well good evening to you Lily. I wish more folk would use such traditional salutations. Good on you. Link to comment
lily17 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 10 minutes ago, OceanDweller said: Well good evening to you Lily. I wish more folk would use such traditional salutations. Good on you. Oh, thank you OD! Link to comment
JennieWren Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Getting better is a long process. For me it is a journey of self growth and understanding, as well as understanding the illness we have and how to cure it. There are so many different elements. Learning to deal with the thoughts. Learning not to feel guilty. Trying to forgive myself for the pain I've caused other people. What I've done to myself. The life that I've missed out on. The fear of how it's affecting my kids. Learning that everything isn't my fault. I've been working on different elements at different times for around 6 years now. Previous to that I was trying to stay afloat. What I'm trying to say is that it's certainly not easy, but it's also an opportunity to change and learn. And to make connections with other human beings and talk about what is real in our lives, not small talk. To work out how to live a deeper more meaningful life. That is the gift in the horror of OCD. That's what Ashley did by setting up his charity. That's what the experienced forum users are doing every time they post excellent advice. That's what we are all doing really, every time we ask for help. When people on this forum ask you Lily what you are going to DO about your OCD, I interpret it like this - that the time is now to see what mental growth you can do. What can you learn about your mind? How can you get to the point where you love yourself with true conviction? How can you discover forgiveness for yourself in all its authenticity; discover strength you don't believe you have yet? These are all gifts that you own naturally as a human being, and yet you don't think you have them. We learn in life by doing. Any small step we take against OCD is not wasted. Any moment of love we give ourselves is valuable. That's what I'm thinking about and wanted to share. ❤️ Link to comment
snowbear Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 28 minutes ago, JennieWren said: Getting better is a long process. For me it is a journey of self growth and understanding, as well as understanding the illness we have and how to cure it. There are so many different elements. Learning to deal with the thoughts. Learning not to feel guilty. Trying to forgive myself for the pain I've caused other people. What I've done to myself. The life that I've missed out on. The fear of how it's affecting my kids. Learning that everything isn't my fault. I've been working on different elements at different times for around 6 years now. Previous to that I was trying to stay afloat. What I'm trying to say is that it's certainly not easy, but it's also an opportunity to change and learn. And to make connections with other human beings and talk about what is real in our lives, not small talk. To work out how to live a deeper more meaningful life. That is the gift in the horror of OCD. That's what Ashley did by setting up his charity. That's what the experienced forum users are doing every time they post excellent advice. That's what we are all doing really, every time we ask for help. When people on this forum ask you Lily what you are going to DO about your OCD, I interpret it like this - that the time is now to see what mental growth you can do. What can you learn about your mind? How can you get to the point where you love yourself with true conviction? How can you discover forgiveness for yourself in all its authenticity; discover strength you don't believe you have yet? These are all gifts that you own naturally as a human being, and yet you don't think you have them. We learn in life by doing. Any small step we take against OCD is not wasted. Any moment of love we give ourselves is valuable. That's what I'm thinking about and wanted to share. ❤️ Very well said, Jennie. Link to comment
lily17 Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) 20 hours ago, JennieWren said: Getting better is a long process. For me it is a journey of self growth and understanding, as well as understanding the illness we have and how to cure it. There are so many different elements. Learning to deal with the thoughts. Learning not to feel guilty. Trying to forgive myself for the pain I've caused other people. What I've done to myself. The life that I've missed out on. The fear of how it's affecting my kids. Learning that everything isn't my fault. I've been working on different elements at different times for around 6 years now. Previous to that I was trying to stay afloat. What I'm trying to say is that it's certainly not easy, but it's also an opportunity to change and learn. And to make connections with other human beings and talk about what is real in our lives, not small talk. To work out how to live a deeper more meaningful life. That is the gift in the horror of OCD. That's what Ashley did by setting up his charity. That's what the experienced forum users are doing every time they post excellent advice. That's what we are all doing really, every time we ask for help. When people on this forum ask you Lily what you are going to DO about your OCD, I interpret it like this - that the time is now to see what mental growth you can do. What can you learn about your mind? How can you get to the point where you love yourself with true conviction? How can you discover forgiveness for yourself in all its authenticity; discover strength you don't believe you have yet? These are all gifts that you own naturally as a human being, and yet you don't think you have them. We learn in life by doing. Any small step we take against OCD is not wasted. Any moment of love we give ourselves is valuable. That's what I'm thinking about and wanted to share. ❤️ This is such a beautiful and inspiring post Jennie, thank you so much for sharing it. I think you’re so strong and these things take time to heal... I really don’t know what to do and how to do it, I’m really lost Edited December 14, 2017 by lily17 Link to comment
JennieWren Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 You feel lost now. I did too. For a long long long long time. There's no difference between us. I've just been doing it longer. Just make a commitment to your own wellbeing. Decide that you are important. And you'll find your way in the end. ❤️?? Link to comment
lily17 Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 43 minutes ago, JennieWren said: You feel lost now. I did too. For a long long long long time. There's no difference between us. I've just been doing it longer. Just make a commitment to your own wellbeing. Decide that you are important. And you'll find your way in the end. ❤️?? Thank you Jennie Link to comment
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