Lish Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 (edited) Hi everyone. I have had a really bad weekend due to a drunk episode where I kicked off at all my family and friends because of the frustration of my ocd. It was awful I literally felt like I was going to lose everyone. I spoke to them all like absolute rubbish and they did nothing wrong. I feel so ashamed for it. I have since apologised to them all for upsetting them but still feel awful. I couldnt even go in to work the next day because I felt like a bad person. I have identified the pros and cons of drinking alcohol in my life and when I looked at my list... there were no positives to drinking alcohol. All it does is turn me in to a vile person who attacks her loved ones.. a person I don't recognize the next day. Because of this, I have made the whole hearted decision to cut alcohol out of my life and go teetotal. Why do I need something that is going to make me feel worse all the time? I have also taken the steps to delete my social media accounts.. as I've started to notice that they were hugely time consuming and taking me out of the present. Has anyone else here ever decided to give up alcohol? If so any tips and how did it go? Can I just clarify I am not an alcoholic. Just a social drinker but it always ends up with me doing something stupid and regretting it.. then my ocd latching on to it. I am sick of feeling like I am a bad person. Edited December 11, 2017 by Lish Link to comment
kirby42 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 I'm trying to give it up right now. Been over a month since my last drink. Sports and the gym helps me keep away from it. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 34 minutes ago, Lish said: Can I just clarify I am not an alcoholic. Just a social drinker but it always ends up with me doing something stupid and regretting it Hi Lish. Whilst you might not consider yourself an alcoholic (and the definition is widely open to interpretation) the above text would suggest that you are a problem drinker, in that drinking is causing you problems. You are asking for tips on how to quit alcohol. I guess the obvious answer would be not to pick up that first drink. If that’s something you struggle with, you might require support from your GP or local addiction services. Lots of folk on this forum live alcohol-free lives, and report that sobriety makes managing their OCD easier. I myself have been sober a while and am much more mentally robust as a consequence. Good luck. Link to comment
Lish Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 (edited) 20 minutes ago, OceanDweller said: Hi Lish. Whilst you might not consider yourself an alcoholic (and the definition is widely open to interpretation) the above text would suggest that you are a problem drinker, in that drinking is causing you problems. You are asking for tips on how to quit alcohol. I guess the obvious answer would be not to pick up that first drink. If that’s something you struggle with, you might require support from your GP or local addiction services. Lots of folk on this forum live alcohol-free lives, and report that sobriety makes managing their OCD easier. I myself have been sober a while and am much more mentally robust as a consequence. Good luck. Thanks ocean dweller. I believe that as I only drink socially I do however use it as an escape from my ocd and anxiety. Therefore, I need to cut this out and replace it with a new behaviour. I went to an event last night and didn't drink.. yet I still had a nice time. I think I need to shake this belief that I need to drink to have a good time. Edited December 11, 2017 by Lish Link to comment
Wonderer Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Hi lish, I haven’t had a drink in 11 months, I didn’t really drink anyways, maybe once a month, but I find when my mental health is bad it’s best to abstain, one reason is that when I’m drunk I have no ocd symptoms so I become concerned that I may like that feeling a little too much and drink more often and the second is the hangover anxiety, it’s just not worth it when you have already high anxiety levels to throw beer fear in the mix! I may have a glass or two over Christmas, basically I’m craving a little glass of prosecco lol, but I won’t be getting drunk. I don’t miss it! X Link to comment
St Mike Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 (edited) I have been sober for the last 5 years, I wasn't addicted per se, but I was quite a heavy drinker especially over the weekends. In addition to religious reasons, I found the ill effects both to my mental and physical health and financial costs too heavy to bear so I give it up. I am still able to keep a social life with friends who drink, I just order something non-alcoholic instead. Due to heavy Buddhist influence of where I'm from, people don't find abstaining from alcohol or meat any strange so my replies of alcohol abstinence due to religious observance are usually accepted without raising any eyebrows. What I did to fill the void was to take up more exercise, commune with nature and doing meditation more often. There is also tea, something which I go in search of when I travel to the countries of my region! Edited December 11, 2017 by St Mike Link to comment
Bodger Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Hi Lish, I have been sober for 3 years. I used to self medicate and it was a problem. Life's a lot better without, both my OCD and my health have improved. Link to comment
JennieWren Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 I've been teetotal a long and I would say just keep remembering why you are doing it. People take it like a personal challenge to get me to drink - but I am stubborn so the more they plead the less I want to do it! Link to comment
Lish Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 (edited) Wow. You guys are amazing. Look at how many of you have cut the drink! It sounds strange but I can't wait to cut it out of my life. I can definitely relate to the point that my ocd symptoms disappear when I drink however have realized that i take the anger and frustration out on my loved ones to the extent where they have said it's like looking at another person. I can be so nasty and completely regret everything in the morning, then also my ocd comes back whilst I have the hangover. It is hell and so not worth it. I have a group of people coming over on Friday night for a buffet and drinks so I'm sure that will be challenging. But bring it on. With all the intoxicated mistakes I have made over my life I think this is the solution.. to just cut it out. And see where I go. Thank you everyone for replying and well done to you all. Edited December 11, 2017 by Lish Link to comment
CAH_05 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 I am the same as you Lish. I like a social drink and realy enjoy relaxing with my friends. Always suffer nasty hangovers though. however when I am in an OCD relapse I try to avoid as much as I can as I know it makes my OCD soooo much worse the next day. But then I question is this avoidance?? Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 21 minutes ago, Lish said: I have a group of people coming over on Friday night for a buffet and drinks What will be your response when you’re inevitably asked why you’re not drinking Lish? Link to comment
PhilM Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 I have a few friends who don't drink for their own reasons. I drink in moderation apart from the odd occasion. Inappropriate use of alcohol as I have found is a killer for anxiety sufferers. Link to comment
Avo Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 This is a very interesting thread, I do drink but not that much do to my work, (I have to be up at 5am everyday so drinking makes that much harder). I am aware that it could also interfere with my medication, (40mg fluoxetine daily) also I struggle with my weight and if I do drink there is the calories in the drink itself I then snack on food I probably would not have ate had I not been drinking. The last 5 years I have done dry January and actually quite enjoyed it. I think culturally in the UK alcohol is seen as a way to relax, a reward for a hard day/week etc.. When I first started going out and drinking it was the mid to late nineties and very much a lad culture, we would go out regularly and drink quite heavily. I was often teased for being a 'lightweight' as I could simply not drink the volumes my friends could without getting ill. At the time it frustrated me but looking back I am quite glad. it means I have never developed an issue with alcohol and can take or leave it, unlike I think my brother and father who were / have been certainly heavy drinkers. I am hoping this culture is maybe changing or has changed?, at least in some circles, I have read about young people who make a decision not drink? I think that's a good thing. I am not against drinking in moderation but personally feel better when I don't. Link to comment
Bodger Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, Avo said: I am hoping this culture is maybe changing or has changed?, at least in some circles, I have read about young people who make a decision not drink? I think that's a good thing. I am not against drinking in moderation but personally feel better when I don't. It's certainly a lot easier not to drink nowadays, than it used to be. Link to comment
Lish Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 That is an interesting question indeed.. is not drinking alcohol classed as avoidance??? I suppose in a way it is,but I suppose if you really choose to do it to better yourself then no it isn't. @OceanDwellerI have no idea what to say. A few of them know I struggle with crippling anxiety so are aware of the reasons why. The others are quite peer pressuring so don't know whether to say I'm on medication. But then why should I lie??? Any ideas? Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Sobriety is only avoidance if drinking alcohol results in unnecessary rumination. You’ve identified that your reasons are genuine and valid, so stick to your guns. It’s entirely your prerogative whether or not to divulge your true motivation for not drinking. I have friends who aren’t comfortable being open and so spin yarns about being on medication or even being pregnant (not one I’ve ever used, being a blokey bloke!). Me, I just tell folk straight. ‘When I start drinking I can’t stop and I behave in ways not in keeping with my true character.’ Real friends have always understood. Those who have tried to apply pressure haven’t been invited back. Bottom line: have something prepared. Because you will be asked. And you need to be resilient and assured in that moment. Link to comment
Lish Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 Thank you very much for the advice @OceanDweller. I will definitely stick to my guns. My episode this weekend was the final straw for me. Alcohol does nothing but bring me misery. It makes me feel good in the moment, but really,is it worth It? No it's not. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 You’re welcome Lish. Let us know how liberating waking up on Saturday morning feeling fresh and calm is. Link to comment
JennieWren Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 6 hours ago, Lish said: With all the intoxicated mistakes I have made over my life I think this is the solution That's why I did it in the end too. I loved being drunk. It made me feel free looking back. I was totally hedonistic and got myself into situations where I could have got into harm. Although as I got older I became more sensible, I didn't like who I was so much when I drank. ultimately drinking, for me, was to run away from myself. In the end I turned round and faced myself which is when I stopped drinking. My life has been harder but much more rewarding since. Drinking was hard to give up in a way, because I'd always been very scornful of those who didn't get drunk. It was a real part of my identity. I loved going out and partying. But you can't have it both ways. I couldn't drink without consequence. I still enjoyed going out even after I stopped drinking, but got a bit bored of drunk people thinking they were being fascinating etc! Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 19 minutes ago, JennieWren said: I was totally hedonistic Me too Jennie. I behaved like Dorian Gray. There’s a portrait of me in an attic somewhere looking positively hideous! Link to comment
taurean Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 (edited) I used to drink purely socially, but found I was being social most weeknights! I had become a binge drinker. That was very many years ago before I met the one and we took up home together and got married - there was neither time money or inclination to go drinking. On the occasional Friday lunchtime the team would have a few drinks. And now I am retired I meet up with them once a year. Otherwise an occasional beer or glass of wine suits me fine. My wife being a very small lady drinks in very small quantity anyway. Drinking is no solution to problems doesn't mix with medication for OCD and may cause unhelpful heightened arousal in OCD to my mind. Edited December 12, 2017 by taurean Link to comment
mp278 Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 I had a good friend who gave up drinking all together for a few reasons. I used to really enjoy drinking socially, 2-3 times a week at most. However, during a relapse with ocd, I've found that alcohol made my symptoms a lot worse the next day. Link to comment
Guest PaulM Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Hi Lish, I can relate. It's coming up on 12 years of sobriety for me. While I loved the effect, drinking didn't help. It provided an escape for a little while, followed by ruminating and anxiety whether or not I had a reason to. It was, as my doctor calls it, a "maladaptive strategy". Some people do well with it, some of us don't. It's okay. There are other ways to have fun without it. I still go to bars and go dancing with my friends. I just end up feeling a LOT better the following morning. Paul Link to comment
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