taurean Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 (edited) Since connecting with and giving meaning to unwanted thoughts strengthens them, what methods do we find helpful to leave those thoughts be? As a professional, many years ago I used to struggle leaving my work without carrying on thinking or worrying about work situations. I might be on the train and concerns pop into my head. I had to find a way to leave my work in the office - and I hit on one. And I was then able to use the concept for leaving home worries at home. It's just a simple bit of imagination. When I left the office, I imagined that I stepped from the office world, and all its concerns troubles and worries, through the exit door into a different, just travelling, place of mind. Here I could rest mind and body, walk calmly to the train station and, if early, windowshop watch the crowds or whatever. And on the train I would just gaze out of the window, read the newspaper. That zone was pure peace and calm And only when I was approaching the door of my home would my mind switch to how my wife was, what sort of day she had had, what was for tea. As I said, the method worked well in reverse - leave home, enter travel mode, approach office, enter work mode. I used this technique for very many years really successfully. So it's kind of refocusing, but in a zonal way, between the work and home quadrants of my life, with that travel - buffer - zone in between. Looking at this now, I think the method may have helped helped me shift into a mindfulness state of mind that proved really really beneficial. So it shows that we can use mindfulness to shift away from worry, and compulsive thinking. What methods work for you? Edited December 13, 2017 by taurean Link to comment
Lish Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 (edited) thank you for this post. This is what I'm struggling with at the moment. I do feel like mindfulness has helped me a lot in the past. I do think my problem now lies with trying not to think about things.. which makes thing worse. Also bring thoughts in to my head to check how I now react to them which I have been told is a checking compulsion. I like the idea of the zone method and haven't heard of that before so I'm going to give this a go! Edited December 13, 2017 by Lish Link to comment
taurean Posted December 13, 2017 Author Share Posted December 13, 2017 Let us know how you get on Lish. Link to comment
Lisa davis Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 I have thrown myself into engagng with board games with my children. This is a win win situation i guess as they get to spend time with me and without knowing, they are my therapy. It isn't always easy of course as sometimes thoughts can creep back in but I try and stay focused at that moment and remind myself that I should concentrate on the here and now, something I have started to implement when I begin to struggle. Link to comment
orange Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Thank you! Very helpful. Link to comment
Philip Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I have wasted so much of my life and lost so many opportunities for happiness as a result of trying to resist/fight anxious intrusive thoughts. I am now trying to adopt this approach: Rumination never, ever, ever, ever, ever achieves happiness and peace. It will always be self-defeating. It is always like scoring an own goal. It is always like trying to put out a fire by pouring oil on it. If I ignore the intrusive thought, I will end up feeling thoroughly miserable and stressed, but what have I got to lose? Really I haven't lost anything because the alternative approach of trying to fight the intrusive thought will make me miserable anyway (even if I feel an initial relief). Since I'm going to end up miserable either way, why not take the path of least effort and just don't bother fighting? It helps me to recall a story in the Bible in which the city of Samaria was under siege and the occupants were slowly dying of starvation. A group of lepers in the city decided to get up and go over to the enemy camp. Their reasoning was that if they stay in the city they will die of starvation, whereas if they hand themselves over to the enemy the worst that could happen to them is that the enemy would kill them, which is no worse than staying in the city and dying of starvation! Link to comment
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