Feelings during erection

[Pure OCD]

Hi.

I'm a male in my twenties and I've had a problem recently. I suffer from pure OCD and have been going to a CBT therapist for the last number of years. I have a good handle of a lot of my obsessional thinking but I struggle at times to deal with how to rationalise certain things.

My problem recently is this. Ok so I was sleeping last night and had a dream that I was fighting with my brother (21 years old) and I woke up after this dream. Now none of this bothered me as there is no reason why it would. The problem is as I woke, I had a slight erection. Now I wasnt worried about this either cos its normal (morning wood etc) and it had nothing to do with my dream. I started thinking about my brother after the fight and I Found myself frozen as in not sure which way to turn in my bed etc without making myself aroused to the thought of my brother. I understand that this is a sign that my OCD is involved here as it had me with heightened fear surrounding the topic.

My problem is this, while trying to decide on what to do, I found myself lingering for a few seconds to the thought of my younger brother with the erection. Now I didn't touch any part of myself or tense my genitals at all but I felt that I prolonged the thought about my brother which I feel I should have dismissed it immediately. After I done this, I felt sick to my stomach. I started to sweat and felt like crying cos I felt I had tried to arouse myself to that thought. I do find that a slight feature of my Pure OCD is prolonging thoughts etc that I know will bother me. I feel that I should have dismissed the thought immediately and not have let it linger the way it did. I had horrifying obsessions about attractions to him and other family members in the past which left me feeling sick in myself. I know it's all my pure OCD trying to hurt me but I can't stand the thought that I got arousal in those few seconds and just can't deal with it if I had.

I feel sick that I may have got some arousal from my brother in that number of seconds. Surely feeling sick now means that nothing happened in those few seconds? Any advice on how to look at this incident and how to move on from it would be much appreciated.

Thanks 

[Ashley]

Hi,

Just to check, when you say you suffer with Pure OCD what do you mean?   Your CBT therapist is treating you for OCD, yeah?  Rather than Pure O?

[PhilM]

There is no such thing as "Pure OCD" etc. It's all OCD whatever the manifestation.

[PolarBear]

My first reaction to your post is why is this guy in therapy for OCD for two years? That's way too long. If you haven't seen a good improvement in six months it's time to either get a new therapist or have a hard look at what you're doing to see if you're not engaging with therapy well enough.

As for your concern, you should know by now that OCD latches onto insignificant  things and blows their importance all out of proportion. That's what happened to you. To make matters worse, you did compulsions, notably ruminating, which simply kept the topic alive in your head.

Dismiss what happened as irrelevant. Refuse to get into mind debates over it. Leave it alone. 

Edited December 13, 2017 by PolarBear

[Pure OCD]

Sorry, I do suffer from OCD but 'pure O' is the side of it that gives me the most problems.

I do have a CBT therapist and have had two for over 5 years. Second one due to my first one retiring. 

I know that dismissing it as irrelevant is the right thing to do and I usually can but I feel the fact I didn't snap out of the thought as soon as I realised then it is something I done that I can't take back. That's what's giving me the most anxiety and sick feeling.

Thanks

[Ashley]

1 hour ago, Pure OCD said:

Sorry, I do suffer from OCD but 'pure O' is the side of it that gives me the most problems.

The reason I asked about this is that many people are under the wrong belief about what Pure O is and isn't, primarily that Pure O doesn't involve compulsions, because it does.  As a consequence many people fail to think about or address the compulsions and so the viscous circle of obsessions and compulsions remain in place, one feeding the other.  This is why I think the term Pure O is so unhelpful, and I fear can do more harm than good. 

If you have been with the same therapist for more than a year, whilst that may be just fine and progress could still be made, I would certainly ask serious questions just how much therapy is helping. Sometimes a different therapist with a fresh approach can be helpful.

In terms of your original post, your ruminating and perhaps trying to remember if you had become aroused in those few seconds (the trying to remember is the compulsion). I suspect it needs working out with a good therapist, but as an outsider looking in, I would suggest you look at it a different way. Rather than trying to remember if you were aroused or not, can you try just saying 'so what if you did', it was for a few seconds, and that's it, a few seconds of arousal, in the great scheme of things that does not mean anything.   Changing how you view the incident is easier said than done, but it can lead to the solution to the OCD problem. 

[Pure OCD]

21 hours ago, Ashley said:

The reason I asked about this is that many people are under the wrong belief about what Pure O is and isn't, primarily that Pure O doesn't involve compulsions, because it does.  As a consequence many people fail to think about or address the compulsions and so the viscous circle of obsessions and compulsions remain in place, one feeding the other.  This is why I think the term Pure O is so unhelpful, and I fear can do more harm than good. 

If you have been with the same therapist for more than a year, whilst that may be just fine and progress could still be made, I would certainly ask serious questions just how much therapy is helping. Sometimes a different therapist with a fresh approach can be helpful.

In terms of your original post, your ruminating and perhaps trying to remember if you had become aroused in those few seconds (the trying to remember is the compulsion). I suspect it needs working out with a good therapist, but as an outsider looking in, I would suggest you look at it a different way. Rather than trying to remember if you were aroused or not, can you try just saying 'so what if you did', it was for a few seconds, and that's it, a few seconds of arousal, in the great scheme of things that does not mean anything.   Changing how you view the incident is easier said than done, but it can lead to the solution to the OCD problem. 

Thanks for the reply. Tbh the anxiety is coming and going ATM. I can dismiss it and forget about it but then I can think about a certain aspect of it that triggers worries. Am sick of this stuff at this stage.

[Pure OCD]

I know I shouldn't be giving this any more thought and as I have mentioned previously, I have gotten a lot better at that but this one is sticking.

Surely if I'm disgusted and upset by this feeling now, how could I have let it happen before?

[PolarBear]

It doesn't matter. It was an insignificant thing that your brain latched onto. Tart treating it as insignificant and it will become so.

[taurean]

6 hours ago, Pure OCD said:

Surely if I'm disgusted and upset by this feeling now, how could I have let it happen before?

That is a typical sufferer's reaction to OCD. 

OCD is making a massive thing out of an inconsequential nothing - trying to make a connection between a - normal - male state of erection/ partial erection sometimes in the morning with thinking about your brother. 

How would a non-OCD sufferer had reacted to that connection?  They would have laughed it off as nonsense and the thought would not have stuck around. Nor would they have experienced guilt at the time, or later. 

So your goal is to work towards believing that and not giving meaning to such OCD thoughts. 

Plus as Ashley says, the concept of "Pure O"  is unhelpful. An OCD sufferer carries out physical and/or mental compulsing (the C in OCD)  which give meaning and belief to the intrusive thoughts - which in turn give them power and encourage them to occur more frequently. 

Edited December 15, 2017 by taurean

[Pure OCD]

Thank you for the replies. I will try and follow all the advice given.