If the doubting disease, why no dought

[battlethrough]

I dont want to annoy people with same same same but i have to ask. 

I had pedo theme, harm theme, false memories and, rdal event over things before but this drunken night last week feels different, its hard to explain. 

Before ive always had what ifs but there arnt any with my memories of me purposely sleeping on the sofa with my sister after havi ng thoughts all night and moveing my foot in an inappropriate manner, 

And that leaves me stuck, if i really wanted to do something with my sister then how can i live with that, i wish it was foggier but it seems clear. 

I feel an urge to confess to my partner but ive confessed of things before but never when it seems like ive pusued something to happen, i wish i could see this as ocd lies but i just cant and thats why i cant escape this

[PolarBear]

You're stuck on trying yo figure out how OCD figures in to what you did that night. As far as I can tell, OCD had nothing to do with what happened. That was you, after a night of drinking. 

OCD came in after, latching onto what happened and making a drunken, yet minor event into some huge deal. You are making things much worse by ruminating over the situation.

[battlethrough]

Thanks again pb, surly though despite ocd latching on now this is something that deserves heavy guilt, drunk or not, ive slept at my sisters for years with nothing, then for this to happen it shows  there is a horrible part of my nature. 

I know im a good man mainly but i beleave a drunken pervy demon took over. 

It makes me sick, i couldn't ever want that. 

Its horrifying  that i could let intrusive thoughts push me to pursue and i think want that, so help me god

[PolarBear]

As usual, I think you are being much too hard on yourself. Lots of people get drunk and do stupid things. The best you can hope for is to learn something. Give yourself a break.

[paradoxer]

To the OP - you refer to 'no doubt' - but I think you're wrong, you obviously have a doubt about the measure  of 'importance'. Just OCD doing its inane thing. Move on. 

Edited December 14, 2017 by paradoxer