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paulfoel

URGENT HELP NEEDED - Out of control what do we do?

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Its getting worse. Today hes smashed in the wall by throwing a huge computer chair at it. Hes smashed the wardrobe door off the hinges.

We've tried and tried, but any attempt to even speak to him results in literally going from 0 - 1000 in a second. Hes shouts screams and punches the walls.

Today he went for my wife. Next step is going to be the police. We've been here before a month or so ago - took him to A&E out of desperation - they did nothing. All the useless ******* at CAMHS have done is tell us its bad parenting and to ring the police.

Hes 15 a big lad. As I've said before, hes got OCD and possible Aspergers. We've tried it all but he just does what he wants. Hes told his mother he wishes she were dead quite a few times. Last week he told me he was going to ring social services and tell them I was hitting him so I'd get arrested. I just just see it all heading down the slope into oblivion at the moment and he doesnt see it, doesnt care, or doesnt register.

I can't go near him at the moment but hes just a danger at the moment at times - We're so on our own because there is no-one to help!

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18 hours ago, paulfoel said:

Today hes smashed in the wall by throwing a huge computer chair at it. Hes smashed the wardrobe door off the hinges.

We've tried and tried, but any attempt to even speak to him results in literally going from 0 - 1000 in a second. Hes shouts screams and punches the walls.

 

18 hours ago, paulfoel said:

Hes told his mother he wishes she were dead quite a few times. Last week he told me he was going to ring social services and tell them I was hitting him so I'd get arrested.

Why he is acting this way, do you know? (I have not read all your threads).   Although we do see young people with OCD acting in frustration and anger sometimes lashing out, I wonder if this is more than just OCD?

The threats to report you sounds unusual to me, I don't recognise it as OCD.  It may be, I am not a Dr and not all that experienced in working with children, but I have spoken to enough parents over the years and I am not convinced it's OCD (or Aspergers either), but  don't have an answer what is causing this kind of behaviour.   Clearly I accept I am not an expert and I may be wrong it may just be OCD but it's certainly worth asking the Dr's what is going on.  I would try and get an appointment with CAMHS on your own and catalogue this behaviour and suggest to them it's not just OCD (if at all) and ask them to review what might be going on.  If they are still suggesting it's OCD maybe push them to refer him to one of the specialist NHS treatment clinics for OCD for an assessment only to ascertain if the OCD diagnoses is accurate or not.  One is at the Maudsley Hospital in London, the children's OCD clinic.  The other is the specialist anxiety clinic at the University of Bath.

 

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I have to say, aspergers can cause total meltdowns, anger issues and lashing out..my son told us he was going to phone the police on us before because we shouted at him, sounds silly but he can definitely have an exaggerated response to normal situations. This is not uncommon. I know many parents of children with aspergers who report the exact same thing.. with OCD he may flip out of control when anything gets in the way of his compulsions, it’s a very uncomfortable feeling for people with ocd anyways, throw aspwrgers in the mix  and the fact that many children with aspergers can’t express their emotions properly or appropriately...this situation sounds exactly like a child with OCD and aspergers to me.xx

Edited by Wonderer

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35 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

this situation sounds exactly like a child with OCD and aspergers to me.xx

Thanks for sharing your insight Wonderer, that is helpful :)

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32 minutes ago, Ashley said:

Thanks for sharing your insight Wonderer, that is helpful :)

No problem Ashley, I just thought I’d share from my own experience, it’s certainly difficult juggling the two conditions together and with both conditions having such detrimental effects on emotional  stability really can be an explosive combination! Xx

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Yeh it all started off with OCD and psych has noticed its likely to be Aspergers too.

From what little sense I can get out of him, his OCD stresses him out big time and, with the aspergers too, he just can't deal.

Good news is hes back to psych for me review next week, and CAMHS are starting CBT for his OCD, AND aspergers assessment in a few weeks. Bad news is its another £240 for psych appointment!

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Yeah Paul, we were the other way about, my son was diagnosed as aspergers at 4 and started with ocd just short of his 10th birthday, he always had problems controlling his emotions to a certain degree but things took a much more serious twist once the ocd kicked in, I know it’s really frustrating, but it’s so heart breaking too, to know ur child is so overwhelmed that their behaviour just deteriorates is hard to watch and of course to deal with! Everything is going in the right direction for him despite all the waiting and costs, at least help is on the way.xx

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Try to keep a calm approach to things. Does sound like it is a lot of money but sometimes it might be the best option Paul. I have autistic spectrum disorder and it probably does make me think a lot differently to most people. Things can be very complicated but it does not have to be that way, we can get through this.

I know this might sound like unusual advice but let him know that you care a lot about him. 

All the best

Graeme

Edited by grams88

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Hi Paul,

Things will almost definitely get better over time. Your son is just really ill at the moment and it's making life for the rest of you unsafe.

Unless there is another condition that we don't know about it sounds like a combination of Aspergers, OCD, adolescent hormones (obviously normal teenagers have much milder outbursts but his hormones will probably be contributing to it) and possible Depression (which can also cause angry outbursts). If he also has challenges at school, it might feel completely overwhelming for him.

I would imagine that it's not worth you challenging his OCD until the Psychiatrist/therapist directs you to.

Does your son know that you are on his side?

Edited by BelAnna

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