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Need advice for urges to perform rituals

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Hi all, I wanted to get some advice on performing compulsions.

For a good few weeks I was making the mistake of performing a certain compulsion in the street, crossing the road each time in order to do it. It was a thought checking compulsion, trying to remember a sequence of thoughts in a certain order.

I eventually managed to persuade myself to stop, after approximately 75 failed attempts at remembering the sequence.

In the couple of weeks that followed, the obsession typically became one of a lingering fear that the obsession will never fade. I've experienced this type many times.

A few days ago I began to consider the possibility that if I were to now just go back there after all this time and perform the ritual again a few more times, then it might make me realize that it's a truly pointless task.

The logic being, I'd have then already tried going back to try to check it yet again after a long absence, so would then know it's still futile. Thus, I'd no longer consider checking it again an option anymore, which would make it easier for me to move on.

Usually when I realize the pursuit of checking is futile, the obsession goes away.

However, I don't want to take a giant step backwards and possibly make it even harder to let go of the whole thing. It feels like a gamble.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated

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Don't do it. Your mind is trying to draw you back into doing compulsions.

Just one more time....

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I agree. On the face of it it seems such a simple means to an end. But I'm sure something will pop into my head in doing it again that will breathe further life into the obsession. Ie: 'That attempt didn't count,' 'I didn't visualise it that time,' 'That time makes me feel like it can be seen,' 'I still haven't done it enough.'

And I'm sure even after checking it again and staying home, there's be some form of new sub obsession in this whole topic. So I can't see it being any kind of short cut.

Very tempting but I think I'd be falling for a trap...

Edited by Joewest439

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