Chels Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 So years ago I fixated on something my sister said and convinced myself I had done something to her when we were young (falsememory) and I had asked her and she said no... anyway she was drunk and saw my ex partner at the weekend (we had only just split up that day) and he spoke to her while she was drunk and mentioned my OCD and she has told him I asked if I touched her or did a sexual act on her!!! I Am absolutely embarrassed I feel he is holding is against me I don't know why because I haven't done a thing to hurt him but he is making me feel like some sort of peadophile because of it and if he was to tell people obviously they don't know OCD and what if like it ruins my life I feel physically sick actually am thinking of ending my life I don't not know what to do Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Do nothing. This will pass. Who cares what your ex says? Maybe he won't say anything. In any event, get on with your day. Link to comment
Chels Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 But Polar bear I dunno if this is reassurance or not but when I was younger my mam said that my younger sibling went into my mams room and sat on top of her, move backwards and forward and said 'that's what Chel's said you and your boyfriend do' to my mam and so I have obviously shown her how what if I did it on her? Like is that a Normal child thing to do? I'm 4 years older I can't remember it but can imagine it and I just don't know but this has been somwthing iv thought about before and worried Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 This is your mind latching onto something insignificant and blowing it up into a big deal. It's not a big deal. Leave it alone. Link to comment
Skullpops Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 4 hours ago, Chels said: But Polar bear I dunno if this is reassurance or not but when I was younger my mam said that my younger sibling went into my mams room and sat on top of her, move backwards and forward and said 'that's what Chel's said you and your boyfriend do' to my mam and so I have obviously shown her how what if I did it on her? Like is that a Normal child thing to do? I'm 4 years older I can't remember it but can imagine it and I just don't know but this has been somwthing iv thought about before and worried Textbook OCD. Link to comment
Chels Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 Haven't really slept much because of ruminating I feeel like maybe it wasn't such a big thing but now iv made it a big thing by telling my ex and now I feel like if/when I do get with anyone else I will have to tell them just incase ? Link to comment
Chels Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 Worrying about this again I don't know what's real and what's not, because what if I did????? Please someone reply I don't know how I can get past this Link to comment
Chels Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 Im going out of my mind here Link to comment
BelAnna Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) Hi Chels, Remember this is a medical issue- you have a psychiatric disorder. You were a normal child when you were younger and did normal things. Your ex is being incredibly cruel because he knows that you have OCD and your sister should really be the one to feel embarrassed because she shouldn't have spoken to your ex about your OCD. Focus on anything other than the OCD- go for a walk or run, watch a film/TV/listen to music, bake a cake, read a magazine (or a book if you can focus enough). Record your anxiety level in a little notebook and remind yourself that it's going to gradually decrease and things will get back to normal. You are probably feeling shocked so have a cup of tea and a biscuit and be kind to yourself. Edited February 20, 2018 by BelAnna Link to comment
Chels Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 Aw thank you BelAnna, so I know I am reassurance seeking here BUT I just want to know obviously it it isnt just a thought and it happened is it a normal 'child' thing to do? It's fine if it isn't you can say it but I just want clarity cause I feel like I need to tell someone if so xx Link to comment
Chels Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 I know but mine isn't just a thought it's based on something that could of actually happened I can't get it out of my head at all. I just feel like nobody will ever love me because I HAVE to tell them when I get with them about this just incase something has happened I just don't know how to get away from this one Link to comment
Chels Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Sorry to keep going on and on but I can't get this image of me like dry humping my sister showing her what 'mam and dad did' what do i do with this! Now iv spoke about it I NEED to tell my next partner just incase I did so I can be judged and forgiven or what? It's not just 'thought' so it's hard to cancel it out... cause WHAT IF? PLease can someone help me??? It's been going on the same theme for years iv asked my sister she said definitely not apparently she'd remember to she can't even remember saying it to mam Link to comment
Chels Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 @PolarBear Any advice? @snowbear ? Yous seem to give the best advice to me I just don't know what to do :,( Link to comment
Skullpops Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Hi Chels, I'm not PolarBear or Snowbear but just wanted to say hi, I'm really struggling today too! Let's do this together ❤️ Link to comment
PolarBear Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 No you don't have to tell anyone. That would be a compulsion and would only lead to more confessing. Right now you are punishing yourself just in case you did something. And that thing is minor in the big scheme of things. The only person who needs to forgive you is you. Link to comment
BelAnna Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 5 hours ago, Chels said: @PolarBear Any advice? @snowbear ? Yous seem to give the best advice to me I just don't know what to do :,( Hi Chels, Don't text your ex about this- he sounds like a ******* with no understanding of OCD and your sister has said that it didn't happen so that's the end of that. OCD keeps trying to solve a problem but there is no problem here! All you need to do is distract yourself so that you can relax and enjoy life again. Link to comment
Chels Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Honestly thank yous so so much for all of the kind and heartily words I feel so empty and drained right now and I feel nobody understands but all of you on this forum and I am so so grateful! @Skullpops@BelAnna @PolarBear I hope I'm lucky enough to find someone in the future with the same heart as yous I'll be a very happy lady thank you! I appreciate it so much xxx Link to comment
Skullpops Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Awk Chels ❤️ Always here! Xxxx Link to comment
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