Sticking your head in the sand

[ineedahug]

I've always despised the idea of people lying to themselves, pretending everything is OK when it isn't.  I was in a relationship with someone who lived in a fantasy world where she never acknowledged the bad things in her life, and ended up losing everything-- her car, her health, her home.  

I'm the opposite.  I want to see things perfectly realistically, just as they are.  So if something seems too good to be true, or if it seems there are no obvious issues, I keep looking for them.  If I don't, it feels like I'm pretending.  I can't just ignore issues like my girlfriend did.

Anyone else feel like this? 

I think one thing that is stopping me from recovery is that I don't want to turn into her.  I want to live in reality.  I want to be honest with myself.  Can I still do that while detaching and recovering from OCD?

[taurean]

Yoy are your own character, compiled from a mix of good and bad elements and thinking distortions. 

We can't categorise normality ; an alien visiting might deem normality to be chain smoking, online gambling and heavy drinking - because those are quite regular pursuits in modern society. 

You have to let go of what happened to your girlfriend - not obsess and compulse about why that happened and how to stop it happening to you - OCD is telling you to watch out or it will. 

Leave it be - if your characters are distinctly different, then it's not going to happen, is it?  That's enough proof to deal with the huge turkey delivered in good time logistically. 

[PolarBear]

What's so great about always being on the lookout for the bad in life?

[ineedahug]

28 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

What's so great about always being on the lookout for the bad in life?

Protection.  Being prepared.  It's what my girlfriend didn't do.  I do see the folly in it though.

[taurean]

3 hours ago, ineedahug said:

Protection.  Being prepared.  It's what my girlfriend didn't do.  I do see the folly in it though.

Look hug.

Managing risk is not about obsession with risk. 

It involves calm analysis, then determining a sensible strategy, applying that strategy, then getting back to the business of living - either running a business  - or applying personal risk management.

Regarding money my wife and I haven't solely relied on our own thinking - we used an independent financial adviser, the advisers from our banks, and read the personal finance pages of The Mail On Sunday. So our financial strategy has been informed not concerned or worried. 

So in these important aspects of our lives we obtained informed opinion whilst retaining overall decision-making. 

We had good advice didn't worry and didn't fall into obsessions and compulsions. 

Do you see that what happened to your girlfriend has become a "seeding event" (the cause)  of the obsessive worry and carrying out of compulsions. 

You don't need to live your life that way. Just find out common sense, sensible ways to run it.