OCD and baby

[luna blue]

Hi all,

I have a question - has anyone has this strong urge to hug your child and then you just hug him/her so much and lose the rigidness in hugging and afterwards you feel guilty because you lost control? Not in a sexual way - you are dressed the child is dressed but you have a feeling you did something wrong because you hugged him/her without looking how you hugged him. You just said **** it i am going to completely love him/her, behave ''like 'normal' people'' or what you saw normal people do and afterwards you feel horrible.

Just wondering if anyone had the same. 

Edited February 20, 2018 by luna blue

[Emsie]

Hi Luna blue, 

I'm not really sure what you mean to be honest. But hugging your child is the most natural thing in the world. I hug and kiss my daughter all the time.

Take care. X

Edited February 20, 2018 by Emsie

[luna blue]

yes of course, but when i hug my son, my ocd can spin so much  so i mostly hug ''appropriately'' ( by appropriately  i mean - so his genitals , in pampers and clothes , do not touch me:( - but sometimes i cant hold myself and just hug him like crazy and thats what i call to lose control and that's when my ocd can kill me . I interpret the act wrongly ( suddenly it feels wrong ) and i was wondering are there other people who have experienced this type of compulsion.

 

thank you for your reply

dream that one day me to can hug and kiss my child without being weird but just naturally trust the proces

Edited February 20, 2018 by luna blue

[Emsie]

1 hour ago, luna blue said:

yes of course, but when i hug my son, my ocd can spin so much  so i mostly hug ''appropriately'' ( by appropriately  i mean - so his genitals , in pampers and clothes , do not touch me:( - but sometimes i cant hold myself and just hug him like crazy and thats what i call to lose control and that's when my ocd can kill me . I interpret the act wrongly ( suddenly it feels wrong ) and i was wondering are there other people who have experienced this type of compulsion.

 

thank you for your reply

dream that one day me to can hug and kiss my child without being weird but just naturally trust the proces

Hi again Luna Blue, I hope my last message didn't seem abrupt or inconsiderate in any way. I've just read it back and it wasn't particularly helpful. I just wanted to keep it simple and say to you that it's ok to hug your child, but in hindsight it's not my greatest reply, sorry.  I wanted to say something and not read and run. Plus, me being a relatively new mum myself, I wanted to reply. 

I'm glad I did though and I'm glad you replied because I now understand your compulsion. Your 'hugging appropriately' seems like a type of avoidance. I don't have this compulsion or theme but I'm sure others do. Even if they don't, it doesn't matter as there are so many variants of compulsions. 

Your 'hugging appropriately' is a compulsion and when you hug your child freely without any avoidance (when you 'hug him like crazy') it's good that you've identified that you interpret it wrongly. 

Are you having CBT?  If so, this is something you could discuss and tackle with your therapist.

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this and that when you hug your child freely that your OCD kicks in. I could tell you a million times that there's nothing wrong with it, but reassurance doesn't help. 

I wish you everything and I hope you can tackle this compulsion and hug your child freely whenever you want to. 

I'm awaiting CBT, so I'm reluctant to give practical advice, but I hope someone comes along who can give you some sage advice.

Take care. X

Edited February 20, 2018 by Emsie

[Caramoole]

Hi Lunar.....hugging your little boy "freely", without consideration of anything, is the normal way.  Hugging him  "appropriately" isn't, that's OCD driven and an avoidance behaviour, a safety mechanism.

[luna blue]

Hi guys, 

thank you for answering! i am trying to stop the avoidance slowly but yesterday was very rough. i did go through with it! i did not run from the anxiety, today much better!

 

xxxx so happy u all here