Why this theme?

[luna blue]

Hi all,

 

Do you know why we have a certain theme? On what we base our ocd fear?

thank you

[Skullpops]

I have no idea Luna but I'm interested to know too 

[PolarBear]

Nope. There seems to be no rhyme or reason why one person suffers from contamination obsessions and another harm obsessions. 

Everyone likes to say OCD attacks what we hold most dear but that's really nonsense. The vast majority of us hold children in a special place but only a smaller percentage of sufferers have to deal with pedophile obsessions.

Edited February 22, 2018 by PolarBear

[Zazoo]

My understanding is that its all an individual thing, some fear or thought that has taken hold in our brains and refuses to let go.  

[luna blue]

i have pocd. its hell. thats why i wondered. i  had aids ocd, drugs ocd, relationship ocd, ocd death, ocd black magic ( fear of dark magic) ocd anorexia( when you afraid to get fat so much you cannot touch butter for example)and i never ever knew it . that i had ocd.

but there where reasons for it - ocd aids - i lived in a hippie commune and people had aids, plus there where a lot of fear of aids when i had it, that's why i wonder why pedophilia theme ( omg i just typed the word for the very first time) since i never ever had those horrifc experiences. and i always truly felt deep compasion for victims of those crimes. 

i recently had a baby and thought maybe because he is so dear to me. i dont know. from all the ocds this is the worst though. ocd death was hardcore for 4 years  but this....hope now that i am diagnosed and that i am getting cbt, doing stuff by myself to  i will get more distance from this. also meditating. 

[snowbear]

19 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Nope. There seems to be no rhyme or reason why one person suffers from contamination obsessions and another harm obsessions. 

Everyone likes to say OCD attacks what we hold most dear but that's really nonsense. The vast majority of us hold children in a special place but only a smaller percentage of sufferers have to deal with pedophile obsessions.

I agree with you it can seem illogical when most people hold children in a special place, but only some suffer pedophile obsessions. 

However, I disagree that there's no rhyme or reason to it. It is about whatever the person holds most dear, or something that holds significance for them. It's often possible to predict what a person will become obsessed by based on their values, and - looking with hindsight - almost always possible to identify a clear connection between someone's OCD and whatever they hold 'most dear' - or what they fear most. 

A non-religious person doesn't typically suffer religious scrupulosity fears. Someone with contamination OCD can have phobic proportion fears over one particular worry but live the rest of their life as a slob with no concerns whatever over very similarly related health/cleanliness issues. Everybody values children, but only some people relate to what society holds most dear on a personal level. For recent decades society's top value is being anti-pedophile, so (no surprise) the number of people with OCD suffering this theme has increased dramatically. Race/gender have at various times been top of society's value list and if anybody bothered to trawl the data (what there is of it) I'm certain they'd find the number of people suffering those themes reached peak proportions while it was 'an issue' for society as much as a personal issue. (Think how HIV started in the gay community fuelling fears around sexuality, or further back people obsessing over the contagiousness of touching black skin turning them black/changing their race.) 

Another interesting area regarding society's values and OCD-type thinking: the use of antibacterial wipes has soared in recent years. This is the result of good marketing with advertising propaganda distorting people's perception and interpretation - skewing their thinking - and resulting in obsessive cleanliness beliefs/fears and compulsive cleaning behaviour in huge numbers of otherwise perfectly 'normal' people. It's not that half the population has suddenly developed OCD (the 'D' stands for Disorder!) , but half the population IS now thinking/interpreting the thoughts in line with someone who has contamination fears. What society 'holds dear' has as much impact on people's thinking as what they value on a personal level. Society's values become personal values and what would be bad for us in social terms can become a personal fear. 

[PolarBear]

I like your argument but can't make the jump to OCD being about what we hold most dear. Not yet anyway. But you raise another interesting point about outside inflamed information does seem to influence the prevalence of a particular theme. 

When i was a teenager i didn't particularly think anything about children, good or bad. I didn't hold them in high regard. But i got pedophile obsessions all the same. And they scared the life out of me. 

But wait... now that I'm thinking about it (cause you always make me think) I did have one trait that stands out. I was extremely empathetic when a child/teen got into trouble. Didn't matter if it was real life, a TV show or a book. I would have a surge if feelings, feeling very empathetic and very sorry for the child/teen, even if he/she did something very wrong.

Hmmm. Must think a little more on this.

[snowbear]

2 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Hmmm. Must think a little more on this.

We might still disagree at the end of the day and that's ok.  

All I aim to do is give people food for thought so they can make up their own minds from an informed baseline. There's no requirement for us all to conclude the same thing from the same information! 

[PolarBear]

No of course not. But i love having my thinking challenged.

[taurean]

I think we can have an undesired influence on the theme. 

A seeding traumatic event can lead to an obsessive and compulsive response,which then takes hold. 

And I have a feeling that my harm theme was partially due to a liking for science fiction fantasy ghosts and horror reading and films earlier in my life.

And yes, the disorder does attack our core values, but any such theme could be doing that. 

So I have a foot in both Bears' camps

 

[taurean]

Coming back specifically to luna blue's theme, why not that theme? It's very common, but all themes are pretty vile, very distressing. Harm isn't great either, nor contamination, relationship, sexual preference, cheating. 

All abysmal for the sufferer. 

 

[luna blue]

Snowbear,

I think you are right. When i had ocd aids ( and it was severe as I now understand) i could not even pronounce the word that starts with a ( aids related ) or n ( needle-related) or many others, aids was very much a big deal then. You could find needles on the street, Philadelphia the movie was a hit, people were frightened, it was horrible. So there was a lot of it around. 

In the pedophile theme- so many movies have this story! Maybe as main but as a side story to - and how it breaks lives. When I was 18 one of my best friends told she was molested by her father for years since she was three. It really shocked me! Intensely! Maybe this is how you get into the theme, by deep, profound shock. 

Taurean,

I am sorry, you are right! Every ocd is horrible! Its just for me the pocd is the most disturbing. When i had ocd death( constant rituals to stop people from dying because many of my relatives and friends were suddenly dying around me and i felt responsible and was trying to prevent it by hoarding, constant praying,...) it was all-consuming. I had no time for anything else. Indeed it wasnt great either.  So i apologize, i did not want to make you feel like i think i am the worst sufferer here. No , its just for me personally i am the most disgusted with myself with this theme. 

xxx

 

 

 

[taurean]

41 minutes ago, luna blue said:

Taurean,

I am sorry, you are right! Every ocd is horrible! Its just for me the pocd is the most disturbing. When i had ocd death( constant rituals to stop people from dying because many of my relatives and friends were suddenly dying around me and i felt responsible and was trying to prevent it by hoarding, constant praying,...) it was all-consuming. I had no time for anything else. Indeed it wasnt great either.  So i apologize, i did not want to make you feel like i think i am the worst sufferer here. No , its just for me personally i am the most disgusted with myself with this theme. 

xxx

Hi luna blue. 

You haven't upset me at all - I was simply seeking to help you put it into perspective. To each of us our theme /themes are very likely repulsive - but I fervently believe that using correctly-worked CBT for OCD, we can recover. 

And it is also vile when new themes arrive, especially when we have been going well in treatment. 

But it is the nature of this illness. 

I have lots of friends here with your theme - I know how truly horrible it is. 

And my sister has magical thinking and playing mind games OCD coupled with a fear of a certain number, and various worthless rituals - though she has had some valuable CBT recently to help her. 

[luna blue]

Hi Taurean,

I am happy to hear that i havent upset you. You are right though i cannot give it that much power all the time.

 

xxx

 

[Zazoo]

On 2/22/2018 at 17:44, snowbear said:

What society 'holds dear' has as much impact on people's thinking as what they value on a personal level. Society's values become personal values and what would be bad for us in social terms can become a personal fear. 

I fully agree with this.  When my POCD hit last year, one of my biggest fears was of it getting out and being misinterpreted, it was one of the reasons I quit working and developed a fear of going out in public (mind-reading).  When I think back to it, even before it hit I was afraid of being inadvertently branded one because I was a single older male who enjoyed being around children and I know I was not alone, its one of the factors of why men aren't taking up the teaching profession like they used too.  Its considered one of the most evil things you can be in society right now.  For me being good around my niece/nephews and other children was something I was proud off but now its become my biggest fear.  OCD does attack what we hold dear, I believe this, it attacked my personal connection with members of my family and that's what damn near drove me insane. 

Still why one day I was fine and the next I wasn't still confuses me, there was no reason for it to happen like it did but at least I now have some understanding as to why it did or at least what helped to fuel it. 

Feel better Luna and everyone else, your not alone.