So angry after GP visit

[JennieWren]

Aaaaaaargh!

went for an appointment to review my medication. The very kind gp asked me a lot of indepth questions but then didn't seem to be listening to my answers. I carefully explained about OCD and he asked me whether I have thoughts about harming myself or others. I said yes, and explained about OCD again. And then he asked me the question that makes me feel so unheard, ashamed, and anxious, "do you think you are a danger to yourself and others? Are you going to harm others?".

im a very polite person and explained I wouldn't but in my head I must admit I was very angry at being asked this again. I know this is a ranting post and that doctors are not mental health experts but really I had just talked it all through with him and this type of thing happens sooooo often!

[Sophie89]

So annoying when they don't understand! Have you got a therapist? Maybe they could explain to your GP as it's not nice to have comments like that x

[Dragonfly]

Really feel for you. I’ve had a brilliant doctor in the past who really seemed to understand OCD. The last doctor I saw who gave me my medication sounds a bit like yours, although nice, asked me text book questions and then gave me a prescription. Think more training needs to be given about OCD and mental illness sometimes. Hope you’re ok X

[Angst]

I can really identify with the themes in this thread. The GP who asks textbook questions. Two years ago I had to really push for a proper diagnosis of a physical problem which I was having which was seen by two GPS as an expression of a mental health problem. Eventually I received the operation which solved the problem. A friend who died of liver cancer four weeks after diagnosis tied for nearly a year to have his physical pain relieved. It was perceived as a depressive symptom!

[battlethrough]

Those were the first questions asked at hospital on the weekend, i think its just standard questions they have to ask x

[snowbear]

10 hours ago, JennieWren said:

And then he asked me the question that makes me feel so unheard, ashamed, and anxious, "do you think you are a danger to yourself and others? Are you going to harm others?".

Whoa, whoa!   

Your GP didn't view the question as being related in any way to something shameful. Why would he?   It's a straightforward, practical question with no prejudice or judgement attached.  

But you reacted as if it was something to be ashamed of because that's how you interpret these kind of thoughts, how you feel about them. You applied your own prejudices towards OCD and assumed the GP was viewing things the same way you view them. 

So you heard bias in an unbiased question and reacted with the same feelings you get when you get the intrusive thoughts you were asked about. 

You also assumed that to be asked such a question means (making another interpretion) that you were unheard and the GP doesn't understand about OCD. 

I'm going to suggest to you that maybe your GP understands OCD perfectly well and was merely checking how intense you find the urges as a way to assess how ill you are.

He wants to know whether the thoughts are something you can dismiss as irrational (demonstrating insight), or whether OCD thinking has taken hold to such an extent you fear you really might act on the compulsive urges (demonstrating your OCD is more severe and your thinking more distorted.)

It doesn't mean the GP believes you might act on them. You're being asked how YOU feel, whether YOU think you'll act or not. 

The trouble with skewed thinking is there's a tendency to apply it to everything.The result is you come up with some pretty skewy conclusions about what you're hearing!

It's natural to assume what we think we've heard (post interpretation) is what was actually said. And not uncommon for people to assume the way they feel about a subject is how everybody else looks at it too (projecting onto other people.) 

Whenever you feel angry/ misunderstood/unheard it's always worth pausing a moment. Sometimes you'll be right and the other person will be viewing things as you view them, but often the question is completely unbiased and non-judgemental and it's only you adding that judgement/interpretation. Particularly when the subject matter brings up intense feelings in you. 

[JennieWren]

9 minutes ago, snowbear said:

Whenever you feel angry/ misunderstood/unheard it's always worth pausing a moment.

Thanks for your amazing reply and I agree in principle with what you say. I feel confused now as to whether I got it right or wrong. ?

I'm just really tired of repeating myself and being asked such tricky emotional questions in such a practical list like manner. And I have had so many genuinely poor interactions with health professionals to do with my mental health. the beurocracy and the form filling.

its really tiring having mental health problems. Whether that's down to my skewed interpretation of events or meeting people with genuine ignorance. I'm tired of having to explain myself over and over. I'm just tired of it all. How I interpret life and how people misunderstand me.

9 hours ago, Dragonfly said:

Think more training needs to be given about OCD and mental illness sometimes

Yes! 

[snowbear]

36 minutes ago, JennieWren said:

Whether that's down to my skewed interpretation of events or meeting people with genuine ignorance.

Realistically it's a combination of both. But we can fall into the trap of taking the resentment/frustration of one encounter forward into new encounters with other professionals and that hurts nobody but us.  

So who's right or wrong on this occasion is irrelevant. What matters is you learn from it that you (and all of us) carry our personal prejudices around in our day-to-day thinking as we interpret events around us, and we 'wear our feelings on the sleeves of our brains', reacting strongly when anything sensitive comes up.

The good news is that knowing that's how your brain works puts you back in the driver seat, allowing you to steer yourself through life more successfully instead of being the victim of thinking habits and bruised feelings.