Jump to content

How is this script? Therapist wants me to write and record script for my fear


Recommended Posts

You're making a large mistake by being in therapy. You're just wasting your time and money...seriously, you know that it's not going to work, so why bother? You'll most likely be doing all of these exposures for no reason, or at least cave to the anxiety caused by resisting your compulsions and not be able to get better.  Then, you'll have to pick up on your own, having wasted two months of your time with this fruitless pursuit. 

Agreeing with the thoughts won't work, it will just make them become more deeply engrained. Dr. (  ) is wrong. There are other methods that are just as effective and much easier to carry out. However, you are stuck with agreeing with the thoughts because you're in therapy and you just have to stick with it. You really screwed up by going.

Basically, you're not going to get better. You're going to be stuck with this problem for a long time, and you can't do anything about it to make it better. You know therapy won't work because you've tried so many things in the past, and because you're terrible at tolerating anxiety. Most likely, when you're done with therapy, you're just going to go on a massive decontaminating frenzy and you'll be back at square one.

Therapy is just a massive waste of time and effort and there's absolutely no point in going. However, you'll just have to stick in it. You probably could get better on your own, but unfortunately you have to stick in therapy for a while longer. You stupidly started therapy because someone on the Internet said you should get it, when really you could have already been over this phase of your OCD just by doing self-help.

Self-help would probably be so much better for you. You could design your own exposures without having to "agree with" the horrible thoughts, to tell yourself you really enjoy them. You could just contaminate things with the bad thoughts and then refuse to decontaminate them by reminding yourself it's all just OCD. You'd be able to better pace it and stick out the anxiety. You would just be able to get over this problem in a matter of a few weeks if you really applied yourself, but since you're in therapy you'll be doing it in a way that's detrimental and will result in you not recovering.

Then, you'll just have to pick up on your own, with the thoughts even more deeply engrained than ever because you've been "agreeing" with them, and you'll realize that you wasted another few months of your life trying therapy. That's just the way it is, you waste time a lot in life because your OCD is so bad and you can't do anything about it. 

Dr. (  ) is pushing you too hard by making you "agree with" the thoughts. There are much easier ways to recover from anxiety. His method is way too extreme and won't be able to help you. It will most likely just spike your anxiety so high that you won't be able to function at all. You could be doing things like working on your writing, learning French, learning the guitar, but you won't be able to because you're in therapy and that spikes your anxiety so high.

Just being in therapy spikes your anxiety so high. It doesn't *feel* right. And that's partly because it isn't the right decision. You know how much more successful you'd be with self-help, but you stupidly decided to go to therapy because your OCD lied to you, making you think self-help was a bad idea and convinced you to go. So, now you just have to live with it.


 

Edited by Ryukil
Link to comment

I would say this is a bit too much like a written rumination. You have given both sides of the argument. You want it to be powerful and fully anxiety provoking - no explanations. Also being as you seem to have a huge issue with taking responsibility for decisions, I would suggest you could add a sentence or 2 about how you have made the wrong decision. I have chosen to have therapy and it was the wrong decision. I chose the wrong way. I have wasted money. I have wasted my time. I chose the wrong way. That makes me a fool. 

Something like that? Obviously I’m not calling you a fool personally. But say whatever you would say to yourself if you did something wrong.

Link to comment
  • Ashley changed the title to How is this script? Therapist wants me to write and record script for my fear

I really can't stick in. This is so stupid. The amount of anxiety being caused by trying to stay in therapy is ridiculous. I should have just done exposures on my own in the Fall, I bet I could have made decent progress.

Someone please keep me from writing him an e-mail and telling him I'm done?

Edited by Ryukil
Link to comment

Just remember that by not doing therapy ocd wins. So whatever is going on in your head right now- nope you can't decide what is better for you - doing it yourself or therapist - because you head is at chaos right now. You just can't make the right decision . So write a script of 1 page max. With clear paragraphs and say to yourself I ve been lied to I need external help because if you don't - it will lie to u about other things. You are stuck. And also DO the homework! Do it! Who cares if you believe in it or not? Just do it for 7 weeks. And then revaluation. Keep a diary. You need to focus on external events. So diary will help. Your mind - not reliable at the moment. It can spin anywhere . But good news- this will pass. I promise you that. It always does.

also - do you like your therapist? If not - find another one.

good luck!

xxx

Link to comment

You're right, my mind is not reliable at the moment. 

Thanks for your encouraging words. And I do like the therapist, he just has a very hardcore ERP approach that I was not expecting. 

Link to comment

I'm going with that script. I really can't write another one. I don't know. He told me to make it at least two pages long (double-spaced). 

Either that, or I could just quit. I didn't do any homework at all this week. Maybe I should just stop for a few months, then I'll go back and be fully dedicated to it...

I'm so lost, maybe I just need to end myself soon.

Link to comment

You shouldn't be in therapy right now...you let some person on the Internet convince you that you needed it, and now you're just stuck in it. It's not going to help you, and you knew that to begin with. It's just a massive waste of time and money.

You really are a fool. You let your OCD make you think you needed to go to therapy, when really you could have gotten very far with self-help. You could have just allowed things to get contaminated and then refused to decontaminated them - so simple.

Now, you're doing this extreme exposure method where you "agree" with your thoughts, telling yourself that you enjoy all these perverted thoughts. And all that's going to do is make the problem worse, so that you have to pick up the pieces when you're finally through with therapy.
You could have done self-help, and probably have gotten over this contamination issue by now, but you had to take the advice of people on the Internet and go to therapy. Now, you have to pay the price, basically.

The doctor is totally wrong. You don't have to "agree" with intrusive thoughts to get them to stop bothering you - there are much simpler methods. You could have gone the route of saying "It's not me, it's my OCD," but now you have to "agree" with the thoughts because you stupidly decided to go to therapy.

You're wasting months of your life doing this useless therapy, but what's new? You always waste tons of time doing nothing, just obsessing endlessly. You're useless and probably should just commit suicide.

Being in therapy makes you feel so uncomfortable, and that's partly because it's the wrong decision. Your mind knows it's pointless to be in therapy and is reminding you how much better off you would be doing self-help. If you weren't in therapy you would be doing all the things you want to do, like studying French or learning guitar, but now you're just trapped.

Self-help would be a much better option for you, but you stupidly decided to go to therapy. Now, you just have to stick with it and watch your life continue to tick by without anything changing for the better. Well done, idiot.

 

 

Is this one better?

Link to comment

Better, Ryukil. :)  But I know you're a writer so you can do even better again. There's still a lot of repetition of ideas here you could edit out.

The more succinct you can make it the more clearly you'll be able to see the wood among the trees. This exercise is about simplifying ideas into key bulletin points so you can see for yourself it's not as complex as it seems when it's interlinking thoughts leading off each other. 

Link to comment

I think I need to stick with one. I'm being sort of perfectionistic here. Also...the exercise is about exposing my mind to the idea that I'm wrong. It's not cognitive, as far as I understand...just ERP.

Is it really stupid that everytime someone says there's something wrong with it I'm just like "Screw it, I'll drop out because I can't obsess about making this script perfect anymore." But that's what I mean...I'm just going to go with this one.

Link to comment
25 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

I'm just going to go with this one.

Given your explanation of why, I think that's a good idea. Sticking with something is more important than 'getting it right' just now. 

Good job, Ryukil. :) 

Link to comment

Snowbear s right,  it is def much better! Good job! Its hard, because of the emotional value we give to our thoughts -  so you did very well.  I had to write down my worst fears and reading them out loud. Disgusting at first, after few times- you ll feel so much better! The thing is by writing it down and by editing it you clean your mind. I would advise you to do some exercise /or dancing like crazy when alone - just to empty your mind. Your mind needs a catharsis my humble opinion because you are spinning and spinning. Well, the thing to remember - MIND CAN NEVER CALM ITSELF. I don't why but even Buddhist knew this many years ago. The way to calm mind is mindfulness, distraction, catharsis technique, gibberish meditation,...if you want i can send you some links. 

But don't fight your mind - distract it. You need to ''vomit'' your thoughts out. And you did so great by writing the whole thing, this is your mind vomiting.

take care of yourself! 

Link to comment
16 hours ago, Ryukil said:

And I do like the therapist, he just has a very hardcore ERP approach that I was not expecting. 

My therapist took this approach, and he was right, because it worked.

Your OCD is just making excuses for you to quit, it doesn't want you get better. Don't let it win, try and just go with therapy, with an open mind.

 

Link to comment

By the way, PolarBear, I saw your video on ruminating. 

That, for sure, is my biggest OCD problem. Really.

I never thought of it as a compulsion, though. Will need to start challenging it, sometime.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...