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Thanks Skullpops. 

It's a lovely renovated, but small, semi-detached bungalow - our retirement home ; so even after a lot of downsizing before we came, we are still at it here and I have already taken ten hatchback-converted car loads to the recycle centre and given various things to the two charity shops in the village. 

 

Edited by taurean
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5 hours ago, Skullpops said:

Are we the same person?! I am sooo guilty of sitting doing nothing, which is a great opportunity to ruminate! 

I have an overwhelming and urgent need to be able to go back into the past and 'check' stuff. Obviously I can't do this, hence my distress. I fully understand this is sooo typical of OCD but y'know how it is! 

Hugs! 

Xxx

Me too, so guilty of sitting doing nothing when I can and let my mind run amok. We have to address that.....I always regret it as it just leads to more intrusive thoughts and what ifs etc.

Keep fighting! Don't let it win! Hugs back. Xxx

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3 hours ago, taurean said:

Thanks Skullpops. 

It's a lovely renovated, but small, semi-detached bungalow - our retirement home ; so even after a lot of downsizing before we came, we are still at it here and I have already taken ten hatchback-converted car loads to the recycle centre and given various things to the two charity shops in the village. 

 

Most welcome. 

Sounds lovely, and well done on all your clearing out and organising! Fancy doing my place for me?! :lol:

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3 minutes ago, Emsie said:

P.s. I do know how it is and its so overwhelming. Keep fighting. Have faith that you can do this, because you can. Xxx

Thanks Emsie,

Doing my best to battle on. ❤️

Xxx

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9 minutes ago, Skullpops said:

Most welcome. 

Sounds lovely, and well done on all your clearing out and organising! Fancy doing my place for me?! :lol:

No thanks Skullpops, I will stick with just the one place, it's more than enough. 

But it's wonderful distraction, and so rewarding :)

 

 

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Just now, taurean said:

No thanks Skullpops, I will stick with just the one place, it's more than enough. 

But it's wonderful distraction, and so rewarding :)

 

 

Haha it was worth a shot!

Keep at it buddy, you're doing great! 

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Sorry to hear you have been having a bad time skullpops, thinking of you and hoping your feeling a little more positive today :yes: x 

I think Roy as made a very good point there, even if we don’t always feel like it doing something beneficial is a great distraction and so rewarding, it can also help lift our mood :yes: which is always a good thing :yes:

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I’m doing good thanks Skullpops! slowly getting back on track again :yes: a good point to remember that helps me is that doing cbt can be difficult at times and it  isn’t always going to be easy and we will have setbacks from time to time. But never give up hope because we know that Recovery is Possible. 

I know from my own experiences what I’ve managed to overcome so far, that it is possible.  Even though I’ve not managed to conquer all my issues as yet, the ones I have overcome totally are no longer a problem to me at all eg: no longer ruminating or no more magical thinking compulsions and I can honestly say that I feel that these will no longer be an issue at all and I say that with all honesty :yes:

So never give up hope Skullpops, because this can be you too :yes: I never ever give up hope, even at bad times, on finding the right way to conquer my final hurdles because I know there will be a way, I just need to find the one that works the best :yes:

Best wishes always, lost x 

 

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37 minutes ago, lostinme said:

I’m doing good thanks Skullpops! slowly getting back on track again :yes: a good point to remember that helps me is that doing cbt can be difficult at times and it  isn’t always going to be easy and we will have setbacks from time to time. But never give up hope because we know that Recovery is Possible. 

I know from my own experiences what I’ve managed to overcome so far, that it is possible.  Even though I’ve not managed to conquer all my issues as yet, the ones I have overcome totally are no longer a problem to me at all eg: no longer ruminating or no more magical thinking compulsions and I can honestly say that I feel that these will no longer be an issue at all and I say that with all honesty :yes:

So never give up hope Skullpops, because this can be you too :yes: I never ever give up hope, even at bad times, on finding the right way to conquer my final hurdles because I know there will be a way, I just need to find the one that works the best :yes:

Best wishes always, lost x 

 

Lost, this is a lovely post to read. I'm made up that you're doing so well. Hkw long did it take you to get over rumination? I find this is a massive issue and I just can't seem to help myself.x

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Hi !

i just want to give you a hug and tell you - this is just a moment! Go to the mirror, look deep in your eyes and tell yourself " **** you ocd you weak ******! You can never win! All these lies you tell about me to myself- you are just phoney! You are not real and I don't care about you anymore! Yes I am dirty/pedofile/want to hurt someone.... you hear? You have no power over me! I am not afraid of you anymore!" I don't know if it will help you but for me it was like opening a window for some fresh air! 

I am here for you ! You pulled me out a VERY dark moment! Whatever your ocd is telling u - it's lying! It can make your body believe the lies and your mind but not your soul! Your soul is a beautiful lightbulb which ocd can never ever reach no matter how much it tries- this is this beasts last bites - it's dying! You are getting better don't think of it as a fall - it's just it's last bites. 

Xxxxx

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1 hour ago, Headwreck said:

Lost, this is a lovely post to read. I'm made up that you're doing so well. Hkw long did it take you to get over rumination? I find this is a massive issue and I just can't seem to help myself.x

Hi headwreck, thank you kindly for your lovely words it means a lot to me :yes:

I will willingly try to help you with this if I can. I don’t think you can really put a time on this because it’s so individual and we all suffer with different issues and it takes as long as it takes, if that makes sense? I ruminated 24/7 and I mean every second of every day, from past issues, to future worries and over every little myrtle thing I did throughout the day, it was haunting and so exhausting. 

So hopefully I will explain the best way I can :)

At first I just decided this was my next set of homework to work on. I got up the next morning and started straight away :yes: every time I got a thought and I wanted to ruminate to check myself I just thought I’m not doing this right now and carried on with what I was doing, don’t get me wrong at first it was really hard and at times I caught myself doing it without realising, but as soon as I realised I was, i refocused away and concentrated on what I was doing. Don’t get me wrong at first I didn’t think it would bother me not knowing the answers but it still did. The thoughts just keep popping up, but just refocus away every time. The first few days was hit and miss and I kept catching myself doing it, but I just kept refocusing away again and again. Over a period of around two week it was up and down good day bad etc, but it was actually on the bad days I learnt the most :yes: this is when I began to see the pattern and realise that no matter how many times I went over things I would never find the answers I was looking for any way, it just caused me hours of heartache and pain and made things ten times worse and at the end of the day after hours of ruminating, heartache and pain i still had to live with the doubt of never knowing any way, so why put myself through this? Don’t get me wrong over a period of around 3 or 4 week I had a few setbacks (but not realising at the time ) but this was a good thing, this is when I realised it was a worthless task because no matter how much I searched I would never find the answer I seeked. I learned to live with the doubts of never knowing and just let the thoughts go and just thought I’m not going there every single time after that. I have accepted what is gone, is gone, it’s done with, it’s in the past. 

So I would say after around a month I no longer ruminate at all and still don’t and it’s been a few months now, but I also know I won’t. I don’t think by just stopping doing it is the answer though, you have to learn to understand why your doing it? Take keen notice of the setbacks and learn from your own experiences and how your feeling through every setback and take note of every outcome, these are the times you begin to change the way you interpret things. You will begin to learn to live with the doubt of never knowing first and then acceptance it’s gone it’s done with and then self forgiveness does come into it also. I don’t think anyone can teach you how to do it? It comes from within yourself, so it’s right when they say you have to become your own therapist because what works for one doesn’t work for all. 

At first you might ruminate a couple of times throughout the day, but don’t worry it gets easier the more you do it. It takes lots of practice, motivation, courage, determination, repetition and believe in yourself, pay close attention to every single setback and take a mental note of each out come. Every time you fall pick yourself up and carry on, but remember to be kind to yourself throughout and praise yourself for every little achievement :yes: 

Hope this helps you Headwreck, it’s difficult to put pen to paper so to speak to try to explain, but really hope this helps :yes: you have to become your own teacher ?‍? 

Best wishes, lost x

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@lostinme I'm so thrilled to read how well you're doing! Thanks so much for your kind words, support and encouragement, it means more than you know! Keep up the good work! ❤️

@luna blue aww bless you, I'm so relieved I was able to help you in your time of need! Thanks for your lovely words! I appreciate it so much! ❤️

@Headwreck I'm hoping and praying you find relief soon. Sending lots of love and encouragement ❤️

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With everyone rowing together on the good boat OCD-UK,  amazing things are possible. 

Remember everyone :

Our illness uses lies, falsehoods, exaggerations, revulsion and -  for things like harm, sexual preference, relationships - alleging our true core values are false. 

It's powerful and seems credible - but it's not true. 

We beat it by first learning this, then changing the way we respond to OCD thoughts and urges. 

When we connect with it, give it belief it becomes stronger, and more difficult to break away. Carrying out compulsions makes it even worse. 

We need to learn to wean ourselves off compulsions, and carry out structured exposure and response prevention. 

And - as we do that homework to take away the powerbase of the OCD - we can also break its power by learning to, when an intrusion comes, gently but firmly ease our mind away and onto an involved beneficial distraction, without giving belief to, or connecting with, the intrusion. 

If at the same time we learn to switch our emotional responses to love, joy happiness, kindness - away from the negativity and depression the illness causes - then we can really start to beat this thing. 

Have a good day today Skullpops and everyone reading this thread. 

Roy :king:   :jester:

 

Edited by taurean
amendment
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10 hours ago, lostinme said:

Hi headwreck, thank you kindly for your lovely words it means a lot to me :yes:

I will willingly try to help you with this if I can. I don’t think you can really put a time on this because it’s so individual and we all suffer with different issues and it takes as long as it takes, if that makes sense? I ruminated 24/7 and I mean every second of every day, from past issues, to future worries and over every little myrtle thing I did throughout the day, it was haunting and so exhausting. 

So hopefully I will explain the best way I can :)

At first I just decided this was my next set of homework to work on. I got up the next morning and started straight away :yes: every time I got a thought and I wanted to ruminate to check myself I just thought I’m not doing this right now and carried on with what I was doing, don’t get me wrong at first it was really hard and at times I caught myself doing it without realising, but as soon as I realised I was, i refocused away and concentrated on what I was doing. Don’t get me wrong at first I didn’t think it would bother me not knowing the answers but it still did. The thoughts just keep popping up, but just refocus away every time. The first few days was hit and miss and I kept catching myself doing it, but I just kept refocusing away again and again. Over a period of around two week it was up and down good day bad etc, but it was actually on the bad days I learnt the most :yes: this is when I began to see the pattern and realise that no matter how many times I went over things I would never find the answers I was looking for any way, it just caused me hours of heartache and pain and made things ten times worse and at the end of the day after hours of ruminating, heartache and pain i still had to live with the doubt of never knowing any way, so why put myself through this? Don’t get me wrong over a period of around 3 or 4 week I had a few setbacks (but not realising at the time ) but this was a good thing, this is when I realised it was a worthless task because no matter how much I searched I would never find the answer I seeked. I learned to live with the doubts of never knowing and just let the thoughts go and just thought I’m not going there every single time after that. I have accepted what is gone, is gone, it’s done with, it’s in the past. 

So I would say after around a month I no longer ruminate at all and still don’t and it’s been a few months now, but I also know I won’t. I don’t think by just stopping doing it is the answer though, you have to learn to understand why your doing it? Take keen notice of the setbacks and learn from your own experiences and how your feeling through every setback and take note of every outcome, these are the times you begin to change the way you interpret things. You will begin to learn to live with the doubt of never knowing first and then acceptance it’s gone it’s done with and then self forgiveness does come into it also. I don’t think anyone can teach you how to do it? It comes from within yourself, so it’s right when they say you have to become your own therapist because what works for one doesn’t work for all. 

At first you might ruminate a couple of times throughout the day, but don’t worry it gets easier the more you do it. It takes lots of practice, motivation, courage, determination, repetition and believe in yourself, pay close attention to every single setback and take a mental note of each out come. Every time you fall pick yourself up and carry on, but remember to be kind to yourself throughout and praise yourself for every little achievement :yes: 

Hope this helps you Headwreck, it’s difficult to put pen to paper so to speak to try to explain, but really hope this helps :yes: you have to become your own teacher ?‍? 

Best wishes, lost x

Hi Lost. This really does make a lot of sense, thank you so much for taking the time to type it all out. I'm trying to apply this today.

Really well done for achieving this, you've come so far!x

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2 hours ago, taurean said:

With everyone rowing together on the good boat OCD-UK,  amazing things are possible. 

Remember everyone :

Our illness uses lies, falsehoods, exaggerations, revulsion and -  for things like harm, sexual preference, relationships - alleging our true core values are false. 

It's powerful and seems credible - but it's not true. 

We beat it by first learning this, then changing the way we respond to OCD thoughts and urges. 

When we connect with it, give it belief it becomes stronger, and more difficult to break away. Carrying out compulsions makes it even worse. 

We need to learn to wean ourselves off compulsions, and carry out structured exposure and response prevention. 

And - as we do that homework to take away the powerbase of the OCD - we can also break its power by learning to, when an intrusion comes, gently but firmly ease our mind away and onto an involved beneficial distraction, without giving belief to, or connecting with, the intrusion. 

If at the same time we learn to switch our emotional responses to love, joy happiness, kindness - away from the negativity and depression the illness causes - then we can really start to beat this thing. 

Have a good day today Skullpops and everyone reading this thread. 

Roy :king:   :jester:

 

Bless you Roy,

Thanks ever so much for your kindness. Hope you have a lovely day and your good lady continues to recover. 

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4 minutes ago, Skullpops said:

Bless you Roy,

Thanks ever so much for your kindness. Hope you have a lovely day and your good lady continues to recover. 

I second this. Thanks Roy, have a lovely day. :yes:

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2 hours ago, taurean said:

With everyone rowing together on the good boat OCD-UK,  amazing things are possible. 

Remember everyone :

Our illness uses lies, falsehoods, exaggerations, revulsion and -  for things like harm, sexual preference, relationships - alleging our true core values are false. 

It's powerful and seems credible - but it's not true. 

We beat it by first learning this, then changing the way we respond to OCD thoughts and urges. 

When we connect with it, give it belief it becomes stronger, and more difficult to break away. Carrying out compulsions makes it even worse. 

We need to learn to wean ourselves off compulsions, and carry out structured exposure and response prevention. 

And - as we do that homework to take away the powerbase of the OCD - we can also break its power by learning to, when an intrusion comes, gently but firmly ease our mind away and onto an involved beneficial distraction, without giving belief to, or connecting with, the intrusion. 

If at the same time we learn to switch our emotional responses to love, joy happiness, kindness - away from the negativity and depression the illness causes - then we can really start to beat this thing. 

Have a good day today Skullpops and everyone reading this thread. 

Roy :king:   :jester:

 

Thank you Roy for your positive spirit! Your way of phrasing yourself really speaks to me, so well described. I wish you (and everyone else here) a good day filled with love and joy! 

Edited by hedvig
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Hi Lost,

Thank you for sharing your amazing experience! Would you say that ruminating - is a habbit? Or like an addiction? 

 

Thank you

19 hours ago, lostinme said:

So I would say after around a month I no longer ruminate at all and still don’t and it’s been a few months now, but I also know I won’t.

 

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2 hours ago, luna blue said:

Hi Lost,

Thank you for sharing your amazing experience! Would you say that ruminating - is a habbit? Or like an addiction? 

 

Thank you

 

Hi Luna blue, thank you,hope your ok and keeping well :yes:

I don’t think I would ever use the word addiction to describe anything regarding any traits of OCD, however at times I think a few OCD traits can become habitual? But that’s just my personal opinion. 

Im not sure that this is one of them however? I think we only do this compulsion through fear and anxiety and just trying to find the answer. 

It would be interesting to see what others think ? too? 

Lost 

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