Searching for answers

[Bodger]

What did you used to be interested in??

[lostinme]

Just give it a try Bruce’s, you have nothing to lose but perhaps a lot to gain, you may even surprise yourself 

Make the next post a positive one and say you’ll give it a go 

[luna blue]

Hi there,

I was feeling very sad about the world and so many sad things and now i help and do a little charity. Just personal. Not a foundation. It helps! People get very happy and you really help them out! Maybe you can find yourself cooking for someone? This brings real joy! An idea as how to bring some positivity and action:) 

xxx

[taurean]

Cooking is nice, I enjoy it and it is better than continually eating ready meals. 

Tossing in some salad is a good way to add essential nutrients and colour. 

I also spend time listening to the radio - it's good company and relaxing. 

[bruces]

I do find it incredibly difficult to relax almost impossible I'd say 

[taurean]

Then you can find plenty of material to work through that can teach you how to relax - and it would be a great positive project. 

[gingerbreadgirl]

how about you make it an aim to post just one positive thing here, today? - just one thing, you don't have to commit to it, or even mean it, but just post it and see how it feels to find something positive to say.  If you find yourself wanting to post something negative (e.g. "sorry", "I'm a failure", "I don't know how to move forwards") - just stop, hold back from posting, and try and post just one positive thing instead. Changing your whole life can seem impossible - but posting just one positive thing, without having to commit to a single thing, surely you can manage that? x

[bruces]

I don't know I just wish I'd done things differently somehow 

[snowbear]

8 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

If you find yourself wanting to post something negative (e.g. "sorry", "I'm a failure", "I don't know how to move forwards") - just stop, hold back from posting, and try and post just one positive thing instead. Changing your whole life can seem impossible - but posting just one positive thing, without having to commit to a single thing, surely you can manage that? x

Read this Bruce. 

How did you respond?

6 hours ago, bruces said:

I don't know I just wish I'd done things differently somehow 

Yet another negative statement.

Sigh.  

I think it's a great idea - make a new thread and write one positive post per day on it. Go on, I dare you!  

[bruces]

Don't think I can  

[gingerbreadgirl]

you can Bruces -  to be blunt, you choose not to.

[lostinme]

8 hours ago, bruces said:

I don't know I just wish I'd done things differently somehow 

I think a lot of us think this way too Bruce’s, but it is what it is  do you want to be saying the same thing in the next twenty thirty years time? 

Or would you like to make changes ? 

Just one first positive step like gbg said, you can do this you need to now  because I just made you smile ? with my cheerleader emoji 

[Ashley]

23 hours ago, Ashley said:

Would it help if I give you an example of my list?

You never asked for my 'positive to do' list as an example, so I am going to give it you anyway. 

My life sucks, I am single, alone and struggling with OCD. My life is OCD, OCD, OCD my own and others through work (the work I can deal with), so I need to socialise outside of OCD but I am useless at small talk and struggle with social interaction. So I looked at what I have an interest in, I have an interest in cycling, which I don't do enough of because I am always working.

So... my 'to do' list is three fold.

1 - Take myself off to a nice restaurant, one new one a month. - I am sort of doing that with a work meeting/meal with a volunteer tomorrow evening, so that's a check for that.   

2 -  A member (from here) who lives down my country lane invited me to walk with her dog on Saturday, and I have been a bit naff in saying no to previous social invites because of the above social interaction problem. I love dogs now, so when she asked Friday I said yes, we made the plan to meet Saturday and I stuck to it and had an enjoyable 5 mile walk... which I paid for later with severe foot pain, but that's another story.

3 - Join a cycling club locally, and between now and the summer do at least two club rides a month.  So I am searching for one with people of my obese level and given myself the deadline of the end of the month to source and join.

Two very simple and easy things that will enhance my quality of life... if they don't then I will try something else.

So what's your plan?????   you don't even need two items, just create a list of one item for February is a start. 

[bruces]

I'm sorry ash didn't realise you were struggling so much I thought you'd got a grip on things 

[snowbear]

1 hour ago, Ashley said:

So what's your plan?????   you don't even need two items, just create a list of one item for February is a start. 

Come on Bruce, it's rude to ignore a question. Answer the man. Enough of the side-stepping responses. 

[lostinme]

Come on Bruce you can do this, just one positive step is all it takes  we are all behind you 

[njb]

On 5 March 2018 at 19:42, Ashley said:

You never asked for my 'positive to do' list as an example, so I am going to give it you anyway. 

My life sucks, I am single, alone and struggling with OCD. My life is OCD, OCD, OCD my own and others through work (the work I can deal with), so I need to socialise outside of OCD but I am useless at small talk and struggle with social interaction. So I looked at what I have an interest in, I have an interest in cycling, which I don't do enough of because I am always working.

So... my 'to do' list is three fold.

1 - Take myself off to a nice restaurant, one new one a month. - I am sort of doing that with a work meeting/meal with a volunteer tomorrow evening, so that's a check for that.   

2 -  A member (from here) who lives down my country lane invited me to walk with her dog on Saturday, and I have been a bit naff in saying no to previous social invites because of the above social interaction problem. I love dogs now, so when she asked Friday I said yes, we made the plan to meet Saturday and I stuck to it and had an enjoyable 5 mile walk... which I paid for later with severe foot pain, but that's another story.

3 - Join a cycling club locally, and between now and the summer do at least two club rides a month.  So I am searching for one with people of my obese level and given myself the deadline of the end of the month to source and join.

Two very simple and easy things that will enhance my quality of life... if they don't then I will try something else.

So what's your plan?????   you don't even need two items, just create a list of one item for February is a start. 

Ashley,

You and your colleagues and posters here are awe inspiring. I hope I help in some way when I'm not having a low point.

As for you, the work you do, the decisions you've made, the fact that you give so much makes me believe that your life so enriches others. Please never doubt the impact of your life. Same for all of us. You've done so much more for ocd than I could even dream about doing. You should be very proud. All the mods, posters etc, I've said it before, awesome.

Ashley, you're like a warrior to me :-)

Njb

[bruces]

How much of our mood can be put down to life circumstances i.e. Job,relationship,hobbies etc or is it not so much of our circumstances but our perception of them? 

[Wonderer]

Our circumstances can get us down but if you have depression it can magnify them and destroy them, you will hear people saying they had a really bad day all the time, but they don’t think their whole life is a mess because of it. Humans are very resilient, you hear of people going through the worst tragedies but using that experience to make a change or go on to try and bring something positive out of them, for example, I know a girl who’s 5yr old was killed in a car accident, she went on to create charity events and road safety awareness events for other children, to me, that’s amazing.x

[Ashley]

I have merged your latest topic with this thread from a few days ago, I feel they're pretty much asking the same thing about seeking answers, and you've been given some good advice throughout the topic, so please don't gloss over that to start a new thread

[bruces]

Ok fair enough ash 

[Bodger]

Come on Bruces, as everyone else has asked, let's have one positive thing you are going to do to turn things around!!!

[taurean]

Come on bruces one positive thing. 

My circumstances haven't been easy these last five weeks. Moved to a completely new area, my wife ill and bedridden (though now diagnosed and under treatment)  since we arrived and having to unbox everything and ditch duplications to complete downsizing. 

Have I let it get me down?  Nope. I am doing what needs to be done, exploring the area with smile on my face, talking to people, making new friends. 

My glass is half full not half empty. And by accepting the circumstances without stressing, I am fit and well and able to cope. 

Edited March 7, 2018 by taurean
amendment

[bruces]

Indeed it's truly amazing how some people Jane age disputes their circumstances such as people like nick vijucic on the you tube videos. 

[taurean]

1 hour ago, bruces said:

Indeed it's truly amazing how some people Jane age disputes their circumstances such as people like nick vijucic on the you tube videos. 

Irrespective of whatever this means bruces, what are you going to do?

Early on with my professional career I had problems with OCD trying to torture me by questioning whether I had done things, had I checked what I needed to etc. 

I didn't then know it was OCD, but I did use what I now know to be CBT methodology to tackle, and overcome, this manifestation.  CBT together with taking a positive slant on things are a very powerful combination. 

So let's hear you give us a positive for you to work on. 

 

Edited March 7, 2018 by taurean
amendment