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Honest summary of how I overcame ruminating


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WORRIES                                                                                                           A PREOCCUPATION WITH OUR

RUMINATING THOUGHTS                                    =                                       OWN EXPERIENCES THAT LEAD TO                                  

CANT STOP THINKING                                                                                   NEGATIVE THINKING, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION,

                                                                                                                            WITHDRAWEL FROM THE EXTERNAL WORLD.                                                                          

                                                                                                                            

How I tackled my ruminating.                                                  

Ruminating is going over things in your head over and over again not getting anywhere no solution no answer. 

The Intrusive thought lasts for seconds but the ruminating can last for hours/days/weeks. 

  1. Give permission to stop ruminating you understand what it is and why you want to stop. 
  2. Give permission not to try to find the solution or answer, dont give importance to uncertainty. 
  3. Recognise it as an intrusive thought/ unwanted thought. 
  4. Become aware and Learn to recognise when you are ruminating. 
  5. To stop yourself from doing it, think to yourself (I’m not doing this right now)or maybe (I’m not going there) then turn your focus onto the external world and what is going on around you, watching a movie, being with company( family and friends) or just focusing on the task in hand, taking you away from the internal world.
  6. Accept that you are not looking for an answer.
  7. Do this each and every time you become aware you are doing it. 
  8. Focus on the things you have control over, there will always be some degree of uncertainty, but its a big part of life, be comfortable with it and accept it. 
  9. Don’t think of yourself as a bad person because your not looking for the answers or solutions, be compassionate and kind to yourself. 
  10. Don’t worry about the times you catch yourself doing it ( it’s inevitable, it will happen) it’s ok just refocus yourself away each and every time. 
  11. There will be times when the urge is so great and you will feel the need to do it, but don’t worry, this is where you will begin to learn the most. 
  12. Don’t expect to see a huge improvement in a few days, it takes as long as it takes, don’t think how long will this discomfort last, simply be with it and accept it , remember you have done this for weeks/ months/ years so there will be no quick fix. 
  13. Thinking negatively and just thinking I want the thoughts to just stop will prove unhelpful. Everyone has intrusive thoughts it’s just how we perceive them that becomes the problem.
  14. Accept it will be uncomfortable because you are not trying to find the answer/ solution. But it won’t feel any worse than it did before you started avoiding doing this compulsion, in fact if anything it will become easier, because you are not seeing all the thoughts in one big jumbled mess, over and over again. 
  15. Pay close attention to the times you do ruminate and how it makes you feel and what the outcome is (because believe me you will do it). 
  16. Each time you do it the more you begin to notice the same pattern, the anxiety, depression etc, how it makes you feel and also that you never ever get an answer or a solution to your problem.  Your mind is much clearer now from not spending every minute of every day ruminating and you will mull things over and the cognitive work begins, through self forgiveness, acceptance and that its ok to feel uncertain etc, letting the thoughts go and accepting the doubt, that it is gone, done with etc, it’s in the past, you start to accept the uncertainty of never knowing. 
  17. Don’t forget you are not your thoughts, your thoughts are just part of you and they will fade away if you do not hold onto them. See your thoughts and without judgement, stop judging situations or experiences, this will not change them and make them any different, just your time and your energy. 
  18. You are in the here and now and there is nothing you can do but come up with good a plan and stick to it. Try to let go of unattainable or unhealthy goals. Accept your situation, pain and suffering gets worse depending on how you think about it. Stop wanting things to be different. 
  19. We can’t stop intrusive thoughts, everyone has them,but we can change how we percieve them. 

 

Just a little something that I’ve tried to put together, a truthful summary on how I overcome my ruminating issues, really hoping by sharing this it helps someone else too. 

Best wishes as always, lost ,

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I’ve spent all afternoon trying to remember how I did it, what I thought etc, to be able to write this draft, from roughly three months ago when I managed to stop ruminating, I’m just hoping I’ve remembered it all, but if I’ve not I can add to it at a later stage.

Its amazing ? I use to ruminate 24/7 not only about past issues, but everyday issues too, I would be that busy ruminating about one thing I thought I’d done and not thinking what I was doing at the time and then I’d have another thought about something I may have done whilst ruminating and so another one would start and so on throughout the day, it’s no wonder it was a jumbled mess and I wanted to lock myself away. To be honest I don’t know how I coped now. 

Just hoping that this will help someone overcome their compulsion too :yes: xx

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Great Post, Lost, thanks for sharing.:clapping:

 

10 hours ago, lostinme said:

:lol: I always want to share things and chicken out at the last minute :lol:

Don't be afraid to share, because your insights are invaluable due to the progress you have made. In my opinion, you are able to see through the lens of both the sufferer and have an inkling of how a person who has recovered from OCD would feel or at least understand what a mind that is unchained from compulsions is like. This sets a good example to many sufferers especially those who have given up hope or resigned to a life of doubt, anxiety, guilt and infinite uncontrollable compulsions, that recovery is possible with the right knowledge, methods (CBT, self-help, mindfulness etc.) and determination.

 

11 hours ago, lostinme said:
  • Don’t forget you are not your thoughts, your thoughts are just part of you and they will fade away if you do not hold onto them. See your thoughts and without judgement, stop judging situations or experiences, this will not change them and make them any different, just your time and your energy. 
  • You are in the here and now and there is nothing you can do but come up with good a plan and stick to it. Try to let go of unattainable or unhealthy goals. Accept your situation, pain and suffering gets worse depending on how you think about it. Stop wanting things to be different. 
  • We can’t stop intrusive thoughts, everyone has them,but we can change how we percieve them. 

I too, had suffered from rumination though, not as bad as compulsive confessing (to heaven). Once I had developed insight through mindfulness and Metta (loving kindness), I realised the futility of my own compulsions including rumination. All of what you have said are valid but the last 3 points really resonated with me as these are the points on which I am now leading and living my life.

It is my sincerest wish that as hard as it seems in the throes of their OCD, sufferers really do have a choice and the ability to change and react differently to intrusive thoughts. Compulsions are our response (physical and mental) to ease the doubt, anxiety, guilt etc arising from our intrusive thoughts and this is the fallacy and trap which we fall into when we perform a compulsion - the relief is only temporary, it only validates and reinforce the intrusive thoughts which are totally irrational and absurd in the first place, setting the premise for more intense and frequent intrusive thoughts and subsequent compulsions, further skewing and distorting our thinking.

Remember when we were young, our teachers always tell us to sit up straight or walk with our backs straightened; don't slouch, don't hunch our backs, in the effort to cultivate good posture habits in us as bad posture do have negative effects on our health and confidence later in life. Ruminating is similar in the sense that it is a bad habit of thinking, a bad mental habit if you will ( I can't think of a better word at the moment),  by doing it more and more often, we are wrecking our happiness, our mental health and conditioning our minds to ruminate every time an intrusive thought pops up. By correcting this "bad mental habit" i.e. resist the urge to ruminate, we are avoiding the negative effects on our mood and our mental health. This in turn breaks the intrusive thought - compulsion cycle which reduces the hold OCD has on the sufferer.

 

Thanks once again for sharing,

Best wishes,

Mike

 

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Excellent post there lost, I may even print that out.

Rumination is such a problem for me, When I read point 9 I realised that I trip up time and time again on that issue. 

Thanks for taking the time to post this. :)

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11 hours ago, St Mike said:

Great Post, Lost, thanks for sharing.:clapping:

 

Don't be afraid to share, because your insights are invaluable due to the progress you have made. In my opinion, you are able to see through the lens of both the sufferer and have an inkling of how a person who has recovered from OCD would feel or at least understand what a mind that is unchained from compulsions is like. This sets a good example to many sufferers especially those who have given up hope or resigned to a life of doubt, anxiety, guilt and infinite uncontrollable compulsions, that recovery is possible with the right knowledge, methods (CBT, self-help, mindfulness etc.) and determination.

 

I too, had suffered from rumination though, not as bad as compulsive confessing (to heaven). Once I had developed insight through mindfulness and Metta (loving kindness), I realised the futility of my own compulsions including rumination. All of what you have said are valid but the last 3 points really resonated with me as these are the points on which I am now leading and living my life.

It is my sincerest wish that as hard as it seems in the throes of their OCD, sufferers really do have a choice and the ability to change and react differently to intrusive thoughts. Compulsions are our response (physical and mental) to ease the doubt, anxiety, guilt etc arising from our intrusive thoughts and this is the fallacy and trap which we fall into when we perform a compulsion - the relief is only temporary, it only validates and reinforce the intrusive thoughts which are totally irrational and absurd in the first place, setting the premise for more intense and frequent intrusive thoughts and subsequent compulsions, further skewing and distorting our thinking.

Remember when we were young, our teachers always tell us to sit up straight or walk with our backs straightened; don't slouch, don't hunch our backs, in the effort to cultivate good posture habits in us as bad posture do have negative effects on our health and confidence later in life. Ruminating is similar in the sense that it is a bad habit of thinking, a bad mental habit if you will ( I can't think of a better word at the moment),  by doing it more and more often, we are wrecking our happiness, our mental health and conditioning our minds to ruminate every time an intrusive thought pops up. By correcting this "bad mental habit" i.e. resist the urge to ruminate, we are avoiding the negative effects on our mood and our mental health. This in turn breaks the intrusive thought - compulsion cycle which reduces the hold OCD has on the sufferer.

 

Thanks once again for sharing,

Best wishes,

Mike

 

You’re welcome StMike, hope your ok and keeping well :) thank you so much for your kind and sincere words, it means a lot to me. I’m really pleased that you are now leading and living your life :yes:

I do get a little apprehensive about posting things, I went through a period of not posting because I didn’t feel the confidence to do it any more, i became afraid of saying the wrong thing, using the wrong word and of course my grammar was a big issue, but luckily I’m fighting this too. I want to share everything I’ve learnt so far, with the hope it will help encourage others to see that change is possible and hopefully it will help to motivate them to keep trying and never give up hope. I believe that recovery is possible and I will never give up hope that one day I can totally be free from this dreaded disorder too. 

I am where I am today thanks to the knowledge my therapist betrothed me with and with all the help and knowledge received from all of my forum friends here. 

I totally agree with everything you have written here and i just sincerely hope that other sufferers will find the courage to seek help and start their own journey too. :yes:

Best wishes as always, lost :)

 

 

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11 hours ago, hedvig said:

Such a great post @lostinme :thankyousign: 

Thank you for taking time to share it! 

 

9 hours ago, Dragonfly said:

Brilliant post! Thanks for sharing this Lost Xx

 

9 hours ago, Storm said:

Great post Lostie, thank you for the time and effort taken to share this for the benefit of others xx

 

7 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

I especially LIKE the thing you said about trying to remember how this current event feels. It can give you some concreate to learn from when you get a new one.

 

But the whole list was pretty damn good

 

5 hours ago, Avo said:

Excellent post there lost, I may even print that out.

Rumination is such a problem for me, When I read point 9 I realised that I trip up time and time again on that issue. 

Thanks for taking the time to post this. :)

Thank you all so much for your kind words, just hope it helps you the same as it as me :yes:

Best wishes always, lost x 

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I need to amend a few things and hopefully I will get around to it tonight :yes:

I will also write a summary of how I don’t get dragged back into ruminating again either and how I maintain to stay free from this :yes: because I think that’s important to :yes:

Was thinking possibly should I write another one for how I overcame magical thinking ? too? 

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1 minute ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

If you have the time and you don't mind sharing then I think it would be a brilliant help to lots of people :):)

I will gbg :yes: it will take a few days to put together another list, there is a few things I need to add to this one first :yes:

 

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Was going to update this page tonight, but I got distracted with company, so I think I will have to leave this until tomorrow now ? 

I know another thing that I forgot to include, which is really important, is to have a after care plan in place after you have managed to stop ruminating, because it’s quite easy to allow yourself to slip back into your old compulsive ways again , I did this myself sadly. 

Hopefully this will help you guys to not make the same mistakes I did :yes:

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WORRIES.                                                       =.                               A PREOCCUPATION WITH OUR

RUMINATING THOUGHTS                                                              OWN EXPERIENCES THAT LEAD TO .                                     

CANT STOP THINKING                                                                   NEGATIVE THINKING, ANXIETY,                                         

                                                                                                            DEPRESSION AND WITHDRAWL 

                                                                                                            FROM THE EXTERNAL WORLD

 

How I tackled my ruminating                                                                              

Ruminating is going over things in your head over and over again not getting anywhere no solution no answer. 

The Intrusive thought lasts for seconds but the ruminating can last for hours/days/weeks. 

  1. Give permission to stop ruminating you understand what it is and why you want to stop. 
  2. Give permission not to try to find the solution or answer, dont give importance to uncertainty. 
  3. Accept and recognise it as an intrusive thought/ unwanted thought. 
  4. Become aware and Learn to recognise when you are ruminating. 
  5. To stop yourself from doing it, think to yourself (I’m not doing this right now)or maybe (I’m not going there) then turn your focus onto the external world and what is going on around you, watching a movie, being with company( family and friends) or just focusing on the task in hand, taking you away from the internal world.
  6. Do this each and every time you become aware you are doing it. 
  7. Accept that you are not looking for an answer.
  8. Focus on the things you have control over, there will always be some degree of uncertainty, but its a big part of life, be comfortable with it and accept it. 
  9. Don’t think of yourself as a bad person because your not looking for the answers or solutions, be compassionate and kind to yourself. 
  10. Don’t worry about the times you catch yourself doing it ( it’s inevitable, it will happen) it’s ok just refocus yourself away each and every time. 
  11. There will be times when the urge is so great and you will feel the need to do it, but don’t worry, this is where you will begin to learn the most. 
  12. Don’t expect to see a huge improvement in a few days, it takes as long as it takes, don’t think how long will this discomfort last, simply be with it and accept it , remember you have done this for weeks/ months/ years so there will be no quick fix. 
  13. Thinking negatively and just thinking I want the thoughts to just stop will prove unhelpful. Everyone has intrusive thoughts it’s just how we perceive them that becomes the problem.
  14. Accept it will be uncomfortable because you are not trying to find the answer/ solution. But it won’t feel any worse than it did before you started avoiding doing this compulsion, in fact if anything it will become easier, because you are not seeing all the thoughts in one big jumbled mess, over and over again. 
  15. Pay close attention to the times you do ruminate and how it makes you feel and what the outcome is (because believe me you will do it). 
  16. Each time you do it the more you will begin to notice the same pattern, the anxiety, depression etc, how it makes you feel and also that you never ever get an answer or a solution to your problem.  
  17. Your mind is much clearer now from not spending every minute of every day ruminating and you will mull things over and the cognitive work begins, through self forgiveness, acceptance and that its ok to feel uncertain etc, letting the thoughts go and accepting the doubt, that it is gone, done with etc, it’s in the past, you start to accept the uncertainty of never knowing. 
  18. Don’t forget you are not your thoughts, your thoughts are just part of you and they will fade away if you do not hold onto them. 
  19. See your thoughts and without judgement, stop judging situations or experiences, this will not change them and make them any different, just your time and your energy. 
  20. You are in the here and now and there is nothing you can do but come up with good a plan and stick to it. 
  21. Try to let go of unattainable or unhealthy goals. 
  22. Accept your situation, pain and suffering only gets worse depending on how you think about it. 
  23. Stop wanting things to be different. 
  24. We can’t stop intrusive thoughts, everyone has them,but we can change how we percieve them. 
  25.  Overthinking causes worry, twists things around and makes everything seem much much worse than they actually are.
  26. Thoughts will happen, we can’t stop them from happening, but we can change the way we react to them. 
  27. We can start to change our lives if we change something we do daily, the secret of success is found in our daily routine. 

Just a little update, of important things, I forgot to include

lost

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